The Starshine Report

How The West was Won

2011-10-03T13:59:00.001-05:00

How The West Was Won was my first professional job after finishing acting school. I auditioned for it in New York, and when they called to offer me the job, they said that I would be flown out to Utah and put up in a motel for nine weeks while we rehearsed and performed the show.

It was a fabulous experience! If you ever have the opportunity to spend time in the "four corners" region of Utah, I can't recommend it enough! This is the largest venue I've ever played--an outdoor amphitheater with a natural red rock canyon wall as the backdrop. It was a stunningly beautiful theatre and such a fun show! I got to sing, dance and act my heart out. My entire family came to watch me perform, and I just loved it!

The above photo of me as a saloon girl with a cowboy was featured on the front page of a local newspaper. :)

I'm so thankful God gave me the opportunity to work this show. What an amazing memory!

Return: to The White Stone

2011-09-26T16:52:00.001-05:00

When I lived in New York City, I had the wonderful experience of attending Redeemer Presbyterian Church. Pastor Tim Keller spoke each Sunday in a way that engaged both my spirit and my mind. He is a true intellectual, and he never spoke to the lowest common denominator. Week after week, I left the church services feeling like both my soul and my intellect had been enriched by what I had learned from this teacher. Many consider him a modern-day C.S. Lewis, and indeed Lewis is one of his great influences.

Recently, Dr. Keller has been writing some very thoughtful and thought-provoking books. One of them is called The Reason for God. Brian is currently leading a weekly group that is meeting to discuss some of the ideas put forth in The Reason for God, and he's also blogging about it at The White Stone. If you're interested in reading some of his posts, he would love it!

To see Tim Keller talking about The Reason for God in an Authors@Google forum, you can watch this video:

Return: to College Theatre

2011-09-23T15:56:00.000-05:00

I decided it might be fun to share some photos from different shows I've done through the years. This photo is from the first major production I was cast in at Baylor. I played air-headed maid "Peg" in William Congreve's The Way of the World.

It was an itty-bitty part in a great big play, but I had a ball and found a lot of joy in making this small part a larger than life, living, breathing character. The actress in the photo with me who played "Betty" is Allison Lamb. She is a very talented performer who does a lot of acting work in Charlotte, NC.

More acting photos to come!

Return: To Childhood!

2011-09-21T10:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my sister and I got together with our kids and took them on a carousel ride! I can't really remember the last time I went on a merry-go-round, but it was so much fun to relive the excitement and fun and wonder through the eyes of the kids!

Return: To Now (If that's even possible)

2011-09-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I had an audition for a holiday musical here in Houston. There were 40 actors there vying for 9 parts. Yikers!

As we all milled around waiting to sing and read for the director, I realized that with the exception of one other woman, I was the oldest female there! And even though that realization was a little unexpected, I was happy because I very content being one of the oldest of the bunch. It just felt good because I wasn't competing with the myriad of 20 somethings there for the "young" ingenue-type parts.

And it was nice, because I was very comfortable being right where I was, right when I was, at just the age I was.

In a culture that endlessly praises youth, it felt good to be happy in my 37 year old skin! I got to read for a villainess character, which was super fun and wicked!

I don't know if I'll get cast, but as far as this post goes, that's not really the point.

I just wanted to say that it was rather sublime to feel fabulous "in the moment" of a situation that took me by surprise. The surprise being that there was absolutely no sense of longing to "go back" to an earlier, younger time. The wonder of the realization that "right now" is awesome!

Return: To Ethiopia

2011-09-18T14:35:00.001-05:00

The title of this post might sound a bit misleading and more exciting than it actually is. No, we are not planning a return trip to Ethiopia anytime soon. Nor are we planning another adoption from Ethiopia.

This summer, on one of our many indoor walks at a local mall, my sons and I befriended a woman named Hadassah. She works at one of the kiosks in the mall selling products made from Dead Sea minerals. Walking by one day, she asked me if I was interested in her products. Normally, I would avoid eye contact, say "no thank you" and walk on, but I couldn't look away, because this woman looked so very Ethiopian to me. Having adopted my two sons from Ethiopia, I nearly always ask "Are you Ethiopian?" if I'm reasonably sure my hunch is right.

So that day, rather than cruise on by, I asked her if she was Ethiopian. "Well, I'm from there, too," was her response, "but I'm also from Israel."

I had heard about the mass exodus of Jews from Ethiopia in 1980, and Hadassah and her family left in a second wave of Ethiopian Jews in 1995. So my interest was piqued when I heard about THIS DOCUMENTARY, called The Name My Mother Gave Me. If you click on the link I just provided, you can watch the hour-long documentary online about a group of college age Ethiopian-Israelis who made a pilgrimage back to the land where they were born. The name of the film has to do with the storyline of one of the characters who had dropped his given Ethiopian name and taken on an Israeli name once he relocated and was enculturated in Israel.

It was very moving (watch with Kleenex nearby!) to see these young men come to terms with what their lives would have been like had they stayed in Ethiopia. Some of them dealt with their feelings of connectedness to one culture more than the other. Some saw relatives and friends left behind in villages many years prior. All seemed to be changed for the better by their trip back to Ethiopia.

As an adoptive mom, it was fascinating for me to watch. Although my sons didn't leave their country for the same reasons, I imagine that they will be faced with some of the same feelings one day when we return to Ethiopia for them to connect with the place they were born.

I highly recommend taking an hour to watch this film, if only to have a glimpse into how a fairly recent even in world history has impacted a handful of Ethiopian-born young men.

Return: To Modesty, Please...

2011-09-16T08:51:00.003-05:00

Note to the reader: If you don't want to see images of scantily clad women, don't read this post.

Yesterday, as I was mall-walking with my boys in the stroller (yes, we still had temps in the triple digits here this week!), Jeremy said "Yook, Mama!" I looked up to see what was catching his attention, and I saw this huge poster in front of us:

"Oh, no!", I thought.

"What are you looking at?" I asked, hoping that there might be something else.

"Elephant!", he answered. Waaaaaay in the distance, was this adorable lady at the Rainforest Cafe:

"Phew!", I thought to myself. "My innocent boy is still my innocent boy."

It made me wonder, though, how hard it will be for me to raise young men who are respectful of women when society constantly bombards us with sexualized images of women just to sell products. As an experiment, I decided to take pictures during the rest of our mall walk of images that could be seen from outside of the stores we passed.

Also in Guess' window was this gal sprawled out on a bed with mile-high cleavage:

And this image also was at the Guess store of three classy dames throwing themselves ever-so-sultrily at a lollipop sucking dude who could seemingly care less about them, even though he seems to be the center of their universe:

Next on our walk, we encountered these bigger than life floozies at Victoria's Secret. Their message? Wear these underthings and you'll be "Unforgettable" to your man:

Um, newsflash, Victoria! I don't need your little secret to be unforgettable to my man! Ain't that right, baby? ;)

As if Victoria weren't enough, Frederick came from Hollywood to flaunt this business in the face of every passerby:

All I can say is, "For reals, Freddy?" Nothing about that window display even makes me want to walk into the store.

Things got a little tamer when we came upon the Reebok store. Notice, though, the subtlety of this...

The man is wearing a tank top, but the ladies are working out in jog bras. Hey, Reebok, while I'm a big fan of holding my girls in place while I work out, I generally throw a shirt on top. Thanks!

A random novelty store had this lovely lady in the window:

Because we all know that the reason we wear a scarf is mainly to be a ta-ta cover.

Finally, we came upon a store called "Perfect Bodies" that sell...well, just read the sign.

I love that the web address at the bottom of the poster is for "lipoexpress.com"

All this to say...Yes, I absolutely will do everything I can to raise my sons to be respectful of all people, to have pure minds, and not to look on women as objects. I'd sure appreciate it if advertising and marketing teams across America would get on board!

Return: Something to Look Back On

2011-09-15T00:00:00.001-05:00

Today, my baby is 17 months old! During his first year, I did a photo session with him every month. Since his first birthday, I haven't been doing them every month, but he looked so cute in the outfit he was wearing this morning, I couldn't resist! Here are some of my favorites!

Return to the '70s!

2011-09-14T11:25:00.000-05:00

I have an audition this Saturday for a holiday musical that will have a 70s theme. For my audition song, I have to pick a pop, rock or disco song from that decade. I do believe that "I Love the Nightlife"!!!

Return to Friendship

2011-09-12T13:56:00.000-05:00

This morning, I attended a moms' group at my church, and it was really fun! About 80 mothers of young children were there. After the big group time, we broke into smaller groups of about 10, and they asked us why we decided to join. I said my biggest reason was for friendships. I still feel new to my community, and making friends is so much harder when you're home with little ones most of the time. Several of the other moms said the same thing and agreed that motherhood can be isolating at times.

I'm just really excited about what the upcoming year will hold in terms of getting to know some of these women better. I actually already know a few of the women in my small group, and three of us had lunch together this afternoon, which was really nice!

I'm encouraged!

A Return to September 11, 2001

2011-09-11T00:00:00.002-05:00

I was in San Antonio getting ready to attend a funeral, ironically enough. Little did I know that our entire nation was on the verge of experiencing a grief unlike any we'd ever known before. As my Mom and I were getting ourselves ready for the day, we were watching Good Morning America when they reported an airplane crashing into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. An accident, I thought. But when the second plane crashed, I thought it must be an act of terrorism. Soon, more news of an airplane crashing into the Pentagon. And finally, news of an airplane that went down in a field in Pennsylvania.

I was worried we'd spend the entire day wondering which city would be next.

It didn't take long for the news agencies to announce that America was under attack.

I had moved back to Texas from New York City just two years before the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. I still had a lot of friends living there, and as I flipped through the rolodex in my brain of all my friends who might have worked in the twin towers, I couldn't think of any one. As it turned out, I had two friends who worked there. One of them was working in the New Jersey office that day, and my other friend had a doctor appointment that day, so she didn't go into work. Miracles worth counting on a day when so much was just so terrible.

Late in the day, it dawned on me that my former boss, J, worked near the WTC, and I got all teary-eyed at the thought of the possibility that he might be gone. I called him for days and never heard anything back. Finally one day my phone rang and it was him...alive and well. Phone lines had been down in New York City, and it took him and his wife several days to get back to their rural home outside the city to get my message and call me back. He worked across the street from the WTC in the World Financial Center. He felt his building shake when the first plane hit. He went outside to see what was going on, and when he saw people jumping from the towers, he had to turn around and just walk away. He walked and walked all the way home (which was no short distance).

One of the strange feelings I had in the days following September 11th was the distinct feeling that I wanted to be back in New York. I wanted to be there to grieve with my former city. It took me two years, though, before I made it back to NYC, and I was there on the two year anniversary of September 11. I went with my friend to Ground Zero and saw people reading bios of those who perished in that very place two years before.

It was all so much to process. I walked to the nearest pay phone and called Joel at work. I got his voice mail. I just wanted to tell him that I was thinking of him because he was the person I was so worried about that day two years ago. As I began talking on his voicemail, I started to cry, and I was so embarrassed because I couldn't pull myself together. Finally, two years after the attacks on the WTC, I was grieving. Several months later, J called me and told me that he was out of the country when I called, but he wanted me to know that he so appreciated my message. I was so relieved because I thought maybe my tearful message was too much for him. He assured me that he didn't mind my tears at all. In fact, he said he saved the message and replayed it when he was having a bad day.

I call him every year on September 11th, just to tell him that I'm so glad he's my friend, and I'm so glad he's alive.

Return: To Bliss

2011-09-10T00:00:00.002-05:00

The day we got engaged!

One of my favorite engagement pictures taken at Laguna Beach!

Our Wedding Day!

Happy Honeymooners!

By the way, today is 9-10-11. Just thought that was fun!

Return: The Opposite Of...

2011-09-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

After returning home from the airport feeling blue, I flopped down on the bed and told Brian that I needed a hug. Goodbyes are so sad! As Brian gave me a big bear hug, I remarked that one of the best things about marriage is that it is a relationship that doesn't involve many goodbyes. Maybe for business trips here and there etc., but for the most part we just get to be together...and be together some more...for the rest of our lives! I'm thankful for that.

Life with my husband/best friend is good.

I love you, Brian!

Return: To Spain

2011-09-08T00:00:00.002-05:00

Today Rebeca is getting on a plane and flying back to Spain. We'll all miss her so much! We've so enjoyed having her as a part of our family for the past two months. I so appreciate what a huge help she's been with the boys, but mostly I have appreciated her friendship. If you hear someone crying over at our house today, it's me...I'll miss you, "Beca"!

Return: And now back to this infomercial!

2011-09-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

Have any of you seen the infomercial for The Genie Bra?

It's an "as seen on TV" thing, but you can also buy them at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Two come in a box for about $20.

Bought it. Like it. Recommend it.

Return: Volver

2011-09-06T00:00:00.005-05:00

On Thursday, Rebeca (our summer nanny) will be returning to Spain to continue her university studies. What a fun summer we've had with her here! We took advantage of overcast skies and cooler temperatures today to do a photo shoot with her and the boys. Rebeca, thank you so much for all you've done for us this summer! You were wonderful with the boys and a great friend to me! We love you and will miss you so much!!!

Return: to 1977 and 2010

2011-09-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

The top photo is of my mother in 1977.

The bottom photo is of my sister in 2010.

Same age.

Not planned.

My mom saw the photo I took of my sister and said,

"I think I have a photo like that of myself at her age!"

Exactly the same age!

The apple did not fall far from the tree,

and I'm glad.

Return: NASA--A Field Trip through the last 40 years

2011-09-04T00:00:00.028-05:00

Rebeca and I went to Space Center Houston yesterday. During the various tours we did, we heard various presidential speeches that were made during the past 40 years of the space program. We also saw a short film that highlighted each of the space shuttle flights. It was full of such exuberance until that fateful day in the 1980s when the Challenger shuttle met its demise.

I remember exactly where I was when I heard about the sad news: in the cafeteria lunch line at my school. When I got home, I told my mom about how I heard the news that day, and she said that my generation will always talk about "where we were" with the Challenger the way her generation did with the Kennedy assassination. To some extent she was right, but sadly I think the bigger tragedy my generation will always remember is where they were on September 11, 2001 when they realized our nation was under attack.

As a mother of young children, I found myself thinking to the future and wondering what amazing accomplishments in space travel will happen during my children's lifetimes. It also made me wonder what catastrophic event might be the "where were you when..." story for their generation. For better or for worse, it is almost certain that we will experience both the wonderful and the difficult, the amazing and the tragic during our lifetimes, both as individuals and as a collective human family. Both the good and the bad leave their mark, have the power to shape and change us.

Return: Feeling Good in my Skin

2011-09-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

There were two times/seasons in life that I remember clearly feeling good about my body:

The first time was when I was an acting student in New York City. Living in NYC means not having a car and walking all over the place! The average New Yorker walks about five miles a day, so even when I wasn't hitting the gym, I was already getting a lot of exercise. Acting school included four days a week of dance class--ballet two days a week, and modern dance/yoga two days a week. Occasionally, I would work out at the gym, too. I remember going to buy a new pair of jeans and realizing that I had gone down a size. I felt pretty excited about that!

The second season of life was when I was a vegan (who ate meat/dairy once in a while). That period of life lasted about a year. My stepfather had been diagnosed with cancer, and the literature we read seemed to indicate that a vegan diet gives your body the best chance at fighting the disease. So in a move of solidarity, my mom and I committed to a vegan diet along with John. It was amazing: when I quit putting animal fat into my body, I lost a ton of weight...like 20ish pounds. It came off quickly, and I felt great! When I look back at photos of that time in my life, I love the way I looked...so trim!

I guess I'm reflecting back on these two times in my life because I'm not very comfortable in my skin today. I've gained about 20 pounds since I got married, and I'm probably about 30 pounds heavier than I was in my vegan days. It's a bummer, and I really don't know what to do about it.

What strikes me as I look back on those two seasons of life is that I was living lifestyles of consistency. In NYC, I was exercising regularly and eating 3 meals a day with virtually no snacking in between. In my vegan days, I was committed to eating a certain way and stuck with it! It's not rocket science, I know. I'm just trying to find the willpower inside to commit to a new routine, and I also want to figure out what that new routine will be. Finding a routine that works with my lifestyle of suburban wife/mom is my challenge. I'm hoping I can find within myself the ability to rise to it. Sometimes, I think I can, but other times I feel so weak.

Return: This Time Last Year

2011-09-02T00:00:00.001-05:00

On this day last year, Brian and I were two days into parenthood. We were in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia falling in love with our sons!

Two days earlier, on August 30, 2010, our sons were placed in our arms, and we were so full of joy!

It's amazing that we've been together already for a year! This year, to celebrate one year together as a family, we had a cookie cake that said "Happy J & Z Day!"

We are so blessed to get to be parents to our wonderful sons!

September: A Month to "Return"

2011-09-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

My writing prompt for the month of September is: Return. Join me this month as I turn the hands of time back to the distant and not-so-distant past and remember....

Today's post is going to be called 37 years of memories, and I'm going to try to recall a highlight from each of my 37 years. These will either be memories that I recall directly or from photos or from stories recounted to me by my family. If you don't have the patience to read all of it, go to 1984, because it's a cool story.

1974 - the year of my birth

1975 - we moved to San Antonio where I would live for the next 12 years

1976 - the year my sister was born

1977 - my earliest memory is of posing for a picture with my sister, and then seeing the picture after it was developed and remembering posing.

1978 - attending St. Thomas preschool and painting "Texas Longhorns" - my first artwork that was intentionally done--not just child's "scribble".

1979 - I remember feeling shocked that my mother signed me up for soccer instead of ballet, like most other girls, and then I was shocked that I was really good at soccer!

1980 - My first grade teacher was Mrs. Bibb, and I really liked her.

1981 - I remember my second grade teachers name, but I won't write it here because of what I'm about to say about her: I really didn't like her.

1982 - My third grade teacher was Mrs. May. She had a baby near the end of the year, and we had a substitute teacher for the rest of the year, and I really liked the sub.

1983 - My fourth grade teacher was Mrs. Denning. She loved sarcasm, and she used it with fourth graders, which I found somewhat inappropriate, but also kind of cool.

1984 - My fifth grade teacher was Mrs. Hiester. I remember being placed in the lowest level reading class that year and being B.O.R.E.D. because it was not challenging enough. At my mother's prompting (THANK YOU, MOM!), I asked for a meeting with my reading teacher and the teacher of the reading class I wanted to be in, and I made my case for being promoted to the next level up. They told me that they didn't think I should be moved up to the next level, and then they at the end of the meeting they asked me if I was satisfied with our meeting. I said "no". The next day, my Mom wrote a note and requested that they move me up to the next level, which they did, and I made really good grades in the higher level class. It was a great lesson in believing in myself, and a great lesson to my future self to listen to my children! I'm so glad my Mom listened to me and was on my team! I love you, Mom! (Anecdotally, by the end of the year, Mrs. Hiester must have believed in my, too, because after the reading class deal got resolved, she told my mom that she thought I would one day be President!)

1985 - Sixth grade. At the prompting of a school administrator, I decided to run for student council, and I was elected! It was such a good experience that helped me to develop leadership skills.

1986 - Seventh grade. Probably my worst year of school ever, for reasons I can only attribute to the fact that it was jr. high school, and really...did any of us just LOVE junior high?

1987 - We moved from San Antonio to the Houston area. I had no idea at the time that Houston would be the city I'd end up considering my "hometown".

1988 - My freshman year of high school, I joined the tennis team. There were a group of guys who started off being really nice, but then they singled me out to be the girl on the team that they were mean to. It just started all of a sudden one day, and I never really know why. Jerks. Also? My tennis coach was a jerk.

1989 - I did a theatre performance at school, and I really enjoyed it!

1990 - We had an exchange student live with us from the Canary Islands. (Hi, Monica!) I still call her my Spanish sister!

1991 - I got my drivers' license, and passed on the first try. I remember looking at my score sheet and adding up my score and realizing that the officer passed me even though my score wasn't passing.

1992 - The year my parents separated. I remember the day I came home from school and my Dad had moved out. He didn't even tell us he'd be moving out that day. I also remember feeling relieved that he had moved out. All of that tension that was in our house was finally gone. I graduated from high school a month later.

1993 - My freshman year in college. I was so petrified that I'd gain the proverbial freshman 15, that I made sure to rollerblade a lot, and I actually ended up losing weight! HA!

1994 - I declared my major as Theatre Arts!

1995 - I was cast in a workshop scene of Two Gentlemen of Verona. It was my first experience with Shakespeare, and I LOVED it!

1996 - I graduated from college, waited tables for the summer, and then I moved to New York City to start acting classes!

1997 - I had an amazing experience at The Neighborhood Playhouse School of Theatre.

1998 - I had my first real boyfriend and my first devastating heartbreak when we broke up.

1999 - I booked my first professional acting job! "How the West was Won" at the Tuacahn Center for the Arts in St. George, Utah! What an awesome 9 weeks!

2000 - I interned with a wonderful group of artists at the A.D. Players in Houston, TX.

2001 - My Mom married John!

2002 - I moved to Spain and found myself in a job, country, culture, and a group of friends that I so enjoyed!

2003 - John passed away.

2004 - I worked as a peer counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. Work I really enjoyed.

2005 - I moved to Los Angeles, had an awful roommate, moved out five months later and into my own place!

2006 - I got on eHarmony and met Brian!

2007 - Brian asked me to marry him on New Year's Day, and we married six months later!

2008 - My father passed away at 68 years old.

2009 - Brian and I moved to Houston and started the adoption process.

2010 - We adopted our two beautiful boys from Ethiopia!

2011 - August 30 marked one year together as a family of four. :)

Looking back, I'm grateful for the life I've been given! It hasn't been without it's share of hard times, but it has definitely been full of joy and so richly blessed! Thank you, God, for 37 wonderful years!

The Starshine Report: It's Back On, Baby!

2011-08-27T19:11:00.000-05:00

The other day, my own dear Mother wrote this on my Facebook wall:

"Missing you on the starshinereport :("

When Mama comes calling, I try not to disappoint!

I was very excited when I found out that the theme for September blogging over at NaBloPoMo was "Return". Here is their explanation:

September's theme for daily blogging: RETURN. Returning -- or turning again -- is about reflection, about going backwards, about revisiting a spot or memory. Sometimes people think that it can be a negative thing to live too much in the past, drowning in nostalgia. But a lot can be learned by mentally returning to a moment, replaying what happened in your mind, especially if lessons are learned in the process.

That seemed like good inspiration for me. So check in during September! I'll be writing! xoxo

Say what?

2011-06-01T12:59:00.000-05:00

While strolling the mall today, I saw this large poster and was struck absolutely speechless.

My inner feminist doesn't know whether to be:

1.) impressed by this enterprising group of women for being able to garner the attention of the American public and take it all the way to the bank. (Let's face it: the women of this show are the reason people are tuning in. The men are definitely the supporting players to these scene stealing ladies.)

2.) disgusted with the way they are going about it. It seems a little shameful to me for the way Kris Kardashian is pimping her daughters out (she is their business manager, too) in micro mini skirts/dresses. Are those dresses or lingerie? And yes, a few of her daughters are adults and not so fragile that they can't speak up for themselves, but the two youngest on the left side are only 14 and 16 years old.

I don't want to be judgmental, and I certainly don't want to be a woman who is critical of another woman's success. On the contrary, the fact that this cast of women are so wildly successful and raking in the big bucks is admirable. I just wish they weren't doing it in a way that is actually so degrading to women.

Thoughts?

Musings on Motherhood

2011-04-27T18:50:00.000-05:00

Here I am again, writing after two months have passed since my last post, and still not sure what to do with it. Let it just be the blog of my California years? Let it be "my place" to write apart from our family blog and just not worry about the frequency of posting?

The thing is, my life is consumed with motherhood of my two beautiful boys, and nearly everything I think to write is about them! But last week, my husband and I went on vacation for five days alone. We left the boys with both grandmothers while we relaxed in Clearwater, Florida. One day, as I lay beneath the shade of an umbrella on the beach, I began thinking about all kinds of things I'd like to blog about (all of which escape me now) on The Starshine Report. Just having a little space from the constancy of motherhood, and suddenly my creative juices were flowing!

I hope this doesn't make me sound like a mommy-martyr. Not where I want to go with this at all. But can I just take a moment to say, "Wow! Motherhood is HARD!" I don't know if I've ever felt so hardworking, lazy, satisfied, guilty, fulfilled, lonely--and all at the same time! It's the hardest thing to describe, but it's true.

All in the course of one day, I can feel:

~Hardworking: Feeding two little mouths three times a day, changing diapers of two, doing their laundry, etc. It's not news to anyone that moms have the hardest job on earth.

~Lazy: Even though, I'm working like a buzzing bee, I long for "me" time, and I manage to reward myself with it--usually when the boys are napping, but sometimes they don't nap at the same time, and Mama still wants to check e-mail or Facebook or watch Glee. So sometimes I do that while the boys are awake, but I feel like that makes me a lazy Mom, because shouldn't I be engaging with and playing with my children while they're awake? I can't help it though. I have myself to take care of, too, and I don't ignore myself.

~Satisfied: Nothing has ever made me feel so proud as my two beautiful boys. I show their photo to anyone who will look at it. Each milestone they reach makes me glow! Holding my baby is heaven. And kissing their cheeks is pure joy.

~Guilty: Wow! I had no idea so much mommy guilt was in store for me. When it comes to feeding, napping, disciplining, WHATEVER it is...they don't come with an instruction guide, so I'm constantly second-guessing myself and hoping that I'm doing right by my child, and I know I don't always get it right, so I feel guilty about that.

~Fulfilled: Motherhood is very fulfilling. Looking back over the past eight months and seeing how my kids are thriving and growing gives me an immense sense of fulfillment.

~Lonely: Being a stay at home mom can be isolating, and I feel a little lonely. We've been in our new community for just over two years now, and even though I've met some great women who are now friends, they are moms, too, and it's so easy to get wrapped up in our own worlds. And in truth, the more I stay at home the more I want to stay at home. It's kind of a downward spiral that results in isolation. I find that I have to sort of force myself to get out and go do things. (Just writing that sounds so pathetic, I know.) I'm always happy when I do, but it's an effort.

I'm actually typing this post at a Panera Bread Restaurant that has WiFi. When Brian came home from work, I left him with the boys to have some quality time together, and here I am, alone with God, my thoughts and my computer. I'm really glad I got out! My mind feels clearer, and LOOK! I've just completed the first blog post for The Starshine Report in two months--YEA! I'm thinking that these little dates with myself might need to happen a little more often!

Visit with Lexi = Fun! (not to mention new software tutorials!)

2011-02-26T16:05:00.001-06:00

Well, my visit with Lexi was far too short, but so much fun! I feel so grateful to have had this reunion. Here's Lexi hanging with J and Z!

Lexi works at the Genius Bar in an Apple store, and when she came to visit, she gifted me with a wonderful photo editing software program I've been wanting called "Aperture". And since she's a genius and all, she gave me a tutorial! YEA! Here is a photo I took of Jeremy before school a month or two ago:

In Aperture, I was able to go in and darken the edges, which draws the eye even more toward my handsome boy's cute face!

And here, I tried lightening around the edges, and I really liked the effect:

I can't wait to learn more about this cool program and see how it will transform my photos!

Thank you, Lexi, for coming to visit, for you friendship, and for this awesome gift!

Lexi, Lexer, Lexikins

2011-02-24T10:41:00.000-06:00

All names/nicknames for my bestest college roommate who is en route to come visit me AS I TYPE THIS!

Lexi and I lived across the hall from one another freshman year in the dorms and we forged a great friendship. We decided to be roommates sophomore year and that worked out so well, we decided "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" and roomed together for the following two years after that!

She has been a faithful friend, and someone who I know will be there for me throughout the rest of my life. Even if we don't live in the same city, I know that if I need her, she'll be there for me. Thanks, Lexi!

We haven't seen each other since Brian's and my wedding, so it's been 3.5 years! I can't wait to spend the next couple days together and for her to meet my sweet boys!

So, it turned out to be a 14-15 day cleanse instead of the originally planned 21 days

2011-02-16T20:13:00.000-06:00

I just couldn't do it anymore.

I started feeling like I wanted to cry at lunch today when I realized that raw veggies were the order of the day...again.

And I just couldn't bring myself to have yet another salad for dinner.

So we went to Red Robin for dinner, and I ordered a Garden Burger with pepper jack cheese (vegetarian, but not vegan) and it came with fries. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Before we left for dinner, I cried big tears because I felt like a failure for not finishing the 21 days. But then I had to give myself a pep talk and acknowledge that I pretty much rocked for 14 days, and a two week cleanse did my body good! I lost about 5 pounds and I do feel better in my body.

My thinking is that from here on out, I will be a vegetarian (not a strict vegan). I want my ice cream and cheese on occasion! And I might have meat from time to time. In talking about it with Brian, he told me that he could jump on board with being a family that eats mostly veggies, fruits, and grains, and that meat would be the side dish, not the main part of the meal. I'm not sure if I want to eat meat at all. I haven't missed it during this cleanse. I missed sugar much more! And tonight at Red Robin, I thought I would splurge on a burger, but the Garden Burger ended up appealing to me more, and it totally satisfied my appetite.

So, there you have it! Cleanse over! Woot!

Cleanse, Interrupted

2011-02-14T14:44:00.000-06:00

True confession:

I totally cheated on my cleanse today.

I ate over half a pint of butter pecan ice cream.

And? Five Samoas.

Hooray for the Girl Scouts of America and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ME!

Okay, time to climb back on the wagon now!

Two Weeks on the Cleanse

2011-02-13T15:34:00.000-06:00

Well, here I am two weeks into the cleanse. I've never drunk so much green juice or eaten so much salad in my life. But I'm doing it, and so far so good. I've lost 5 pounds, too! Hooray!

Here's a photo of what the green juice looks like:

Off to drink some now! One week to go!

The Power of a Name - Crazy Sexy Diet, Day 6

2011-02-06T14:59:00.000-06:00

One of the side effects the author of Crazy Sexy Diet wrote that I might experience while doing the 21 Day Cleanse is feeling emotional. That has certainly been the case today. I fought back tears a couple of times before lunchtime.

This morning, I was teary thinking about my late step-dad, John. I really was missing him. He's the person who gave me the nickname Starshine, which is my favorite nickname ever.

I believe very strongly in the power of naming your child well. When we were considering names for the boys, we took into consideration both if we liked the sound of the name, as well as if we liked the meaning of the name. Somehow, it seems that the names we are given have the power to impact us, for better or for worse--not only our literal names, but also the names people call us (good and bad), and nicknames!

This morning, I was just feeling so touched by the meaning of my beloved nickname. John was such an encourager to me when it came to following my acting dreams. I'm sure that he chose the name Starshine for me, because it conjured up images of a big-time actress. He believed in the beauty of my dreams and supported me in my quest to go after them, and that has always meant so much to me. This morning, though, as I was thinking about John, I wondered what he might think about my life being on this side of my Hollywood journey. I left Hollywood never having won a big break, and certainly not having found stardom. (Although I'll be forever grateful for the myriad gifts God gave me while I was there: a husband!, an incredible acting teacher, a technique for acting on-camera, a renewed love for theatre acting, and some wonderful friends to name only a few.)

Without a doubt, John would still be proud of me. Without a doubt, I would still be his Starshine. And this morning, as I stood in this private moment, fighting back the tears, I realized that he didn't name me Starshine because he believed I would one day be a big star. He named me Starshine because he saw the light within my spirit, and he believed that I already was one.

That is the sweetest gift a father could give his daughter. My heart is filled with gratitude, and the floodgates have now let loose. Perhaps this diet isn't just cleansing my body, but also my soul.

Crazy Sexy - Day 4

2011-02-04T20:30:00.000-06:00

Well, this is the end of day 4 of the cleanse...just 17 more days to go! :)

Actually, the cleanse is going well, and I'm not feeling too deprived, although I have become very aware of certain cravings...mostly having to do with SUGAR! I'm encouraged, though, because I think I've lost some poundage, and that makes this girl happy!

I've never eaten so much salad in my life. I hope I don't get sick of it. I love salad and vegetables, so that helps a lot, but I can see that I'm gonna have to start doing some menu planning to break up the monotony.

Brian and I were talking tonight about what I'll do after the 21 days. Will I remain vegan? Will I be more lenient and be a vegetarian who still eats eggs and cheese? Or will I do as my friend Julie suggested and remain an omnivore who eats a lot more veggies than meat? Decisions, decisions.

Whatever I decide, I really want to settle on something that will become a lifestyle choice, something that will help me have the body I desire, and something that will be a way of eating that is respectful of my body.

I'm glad I still have 17 days to make that decision. One thing the author of Crazy Sexy Diet says is that you really can't think about this diet in terms of it being something you do for the rest of your life or you'll get overwhelmed. Instead, she recommends committing to veganism day by day. That seems like a much more sane way to go about it. She also acknowledges that it is our occasional indulgences that aren't part of the vegan way that make us human. That's reassuring, because I can't foresee a life free of some of my favorite things like ice cream and brownies. And frankly, I don't want to. So perhaps I'll be a vegan who cheats sometimes, and my feeling is that even if I live that way, I'll still be a whole more fit than I have been over the past few years.

Cheers!

Rewriting Brad

2011-02-03T23:11:00.000-06:00

The is the director's cut of "Rewriting Brad"--a short film I acted in that was shot last year for the Houston 48 Hour Film Festival. If only part of the screen is showing, you may need to click through and watch it on YouTube because it's in a full screen format. I hope you enjoy it!

Crazy Sexy Cleanse: Day 1

2011-02-01T22:40:00.000-06:00

1. Did you abstain from coffee? YES!
2. Did you abstain from alcohol? YES!
3. Did you abstain from gluten? YES!
4. Did you abstain from animal products? YES!
5. Did you abstain from crack (aka sugar) and choose low-glycemic fruits and better alternatives such as stevia or agave? YES!
6. Did you dry brush today? No...I need to buy a brush or a loofa.
7. Did you clean your sinuses with the good ol' net pot? YES!
8. Did you move your body for at least 35 minutes? No.
9. Did you meditate for fifteen to twenty minutes? No.
10. Did you chew your meals thoroughly and mindfully? I think I was so excited to eat, I ate quickly...
11. Did you laugh out loud and tell someone you loved him or her today? YES!
12. Did you spend time in nature? I spent about 2 mins in my backyard with Jeremy, but then we came in because it is COLD here!
13. Did you get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep? Close.
14. What did you eat today and did you juice? Morning: Water with lemon and cayenne pepper to start off the day, 2 cups of peppermint tea, green juice. Noon: Green salad with tomatoes and dressing. Afternoon snack: green juice and 2 brown rice cakes with almond butter. Dinner: Salad greens, with avacado, olives and tomatoes with quinoa.
15. How much purified water did you consume? You can include fresh veggie juices in your calculation. I think about 60ish ounces...but that's a guess.
16. What supplements did you take? Vitamin B12, Vitamin C and Iron.
17. How was your elimination? It happened.
18. What time did you stop eating? 7pm...3.5 hours before bed.
19. How do you feel physically? I was tired today, but I feel good tonight. My teeth looked grubby. Weird...usually they look really white. Could that be part of the detox?
20. How do you feel emotionally? Normal.

Note: My starting weight on this diet is 175 pounds. Yowza!

And just like that, the train done arrived!

2011-02-01T16:22:00.000-06:00

You might remember that I wrote here that I was pondering a way to jump back on the vegan train. Well, folks, the train has arrived at the station!

I have spent the past month reading and familiarizing myself with the Crazy Sexy Diet, and today I'm kick starting a new lifestyle with a 21 day vegan cleanse. This cleanse involves drinking a lot of green juice and eating a lot of green veggies.

I've decided to chronicle my 21 day journey to a cleaner system on this blog. At the end of each day, I'll be answering 20 questions of accountability posed by Kris Carr, author of the CSD. And I'll also be writing about how I'm feeling during the cleanse.

Here are the 20 questions:

1. Did you abstain from coffee?
2. Did you abstain from alcohol?
3. Did you abstain from gluten?
4. Did you abstain from animal products?
5. Did you abstain from crack (aka sugar) and choose low-glycemic fruits and better alternatives such as stevia or agave?
6. Did you dry brush today? (Dry brushing is just what it sounds like...taking a special brush or loofa to your dry skin and brushing yourself from toe to nose!)
7. Did you clean your sinuses with the good ol' net pot?
8. Did you move your body for at least 35 minutes?
9. Did you meditate for fifteen to twenty minutes?
10. Did you chew your meals thoroughly and mindfully?
11. Did you laugh out loud and tell someone you loved him or her today?
12. Did you spend time in nature? Even five minutes is better than nothing.
13. Did you get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep?
14. What did you eat today and did you juice? Include breakfast, lunch, dinner, and any in-between snacking--it may help to jot down meals and snacks throughout the day.
15. How much purified water did you consume? You can include fresh veggie juices in your calculation.
16. What supplements did you take?
17. How was your elimination?
18. What time did you stop eating? Three hours before bed is optimum.
19. How do you feel physically?
20. How do you feel emotionally?

Hop on the train and enjoy the ride with me for the next few weeks!

The Train is Rolling Ever Closer to the Station

2011-01-14T09:13:00.000-06:00

Hey Party People! How are you?

If you are one of the faithful who still stops by to see what's going on here, I truly love you! Thanks for your patience as I've settled into motherhood.

Speaking of that, things are feeling like "the new normal" here, and for that, I'm so grateful! The first two and a half months home were really tough in terms of exhaustion. Going from zero to two kids was a huge adjustment, and I know the kids were going through adjustments of their own, as well. I have to say, though, that we all seem to have adjusted quite well to being a new family of four, and we love each other so much! Of course, we're brimming over with love for our sons, but it is truly sublime to have Jeremy run up to me and throw his arms around me just because!

On a completely different note, let's talk about fitness and nutrition. Eight years ago, when my stepdad was dealing with cancer, he and I (and my Mom, too) all committed to doing a vegan diet together. The idea was that eating vegan helps the body to fight the cancer. Mom and I did it in solidarity with him. In the year-ish that I ate that way (with some cheating here and there), I lost about 20 pounds and two dress sizes. I felt great and looked great, too. I was also living in Spain for much of that time, so all of the walking around that I was doing didn't hurt things, since I didn't have a car, and the European lifestyle is largely a pedestrian one.

All that to say, I have long felt that the vegan diet is something I'd like to get back to. It's like seeing a train rolling into the station, but the light on the train is still a looooooong way away. Well, the train is getting ever closer, I think I'm on the cusp of making a big lifestyle change. So this blog's gonna be cranking back into gear soon, because I need a place to document what I'll be doing, how I'm feeling, and I'll need some measure of accountability, as well.

Since adopting my boys, my nutrition and exercise has kind of been kaputs-ville. So I went to Target yesterday, and I invested in some new workout duds. Sometimes I think it helps if you feel good in what you're wearing to the gym. I also just needed some new stuff...I was down to two workout outfits for winter.

I'm not sure how to wrap up this rambling post, so with that I'll bid you adieu and head down to breakfast and then off to the gym!

Merry Christmas from our Family to Yours!

2010-12-19T12:12:00.000-06:00

My family put together this special holiday dance just for your enjoyment!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T21:01:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful to have spent a wonderful day today with my family!

I love Santa and other musings...

2010-11-07T12:59:00.002-06:00

Today, I loaded the boys up in the car and drove to a local commercial retail center in town so I could rev up with some Starbucks and then take the boys for a walk in the stroller. It was a gorgeous morning, sunny and cool--perfect for a stroll. I confess that I love this time of year, when the store windows are transformed into mini holiday wonderlands. Hopeful that I'd get to see some good holiday window dressings, I strolled the boys by Kirkland's Home, and I was not disappointed. In one of their windows, there were several gorgeous framed paintings of Saint Nick--one was a regal Santa dressed in a majestic golden cloak, another depicted him with a couple of his reindeer, but the one I loved best was a rendering of Santa holding his finger up to his lips, as if to say, "Shhh! It's our little secret." I'm not sure why I loved it so much, but a wave of nostalgia washed over me, and I started to sing Christmas carols to myself.

Artwork found on Kirkland's Website

As I moseyed on, I couldn't help but think about a most strange (to me) phenomenon the exists in the Christian sub-culture: there are some who think it is wrong to incorporate Santa into one's family's Christmas celebration. Some say that it is lying to your children. Others say that it takes the focus off of Jesus, who is, after all, the Reason for the Season. And you know? I respect their decision to celebrate Christmas sans Santa, even though I don't share their view.

My family? Santa comes to our house every year!

I grew up in a family who celebrated Christmas with presents, a fresh cut tree, and yes, Santa Claus. Was I sad when I grew up and found out? Absolutely. Do I wish my parents hadn't "lied" to me? Absolutely NOT! I never felt lied to, and it made my childhood sparkle with magic. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I think the reason the painting of the Santa saying "Shhh!" so resonated with me is because it felt like he was saying, "We're totally getting away with something here...and it's good!" That's right! Me and Saint Nicholas?... We both believe in Jesus, and we both love to celebrate His birth in grand style!

I'm so excited to share the upcoming Christmas season with my boys!

Gustopher Jones

2010-11-06T11:19:00.000-05:00

In the midst of becoming of mother of two, I haven't been able to dote on my newest nephew the way that he deserves. However, I got to do his three month old photo shoot, and was he ever ready for his close-up! Behold his cuteness:

We love you, little Gus!

I'm Alive!

2010-10-23T21:08:00.002-05:00

Hi! According to my site meter, there are still 37 of you who pop by here each day in hopes that I might actually post something. Thank you for having faith in me!

We've had our boys for seven weeks now, and WOW! It's hard work and so much fun all rolled up in one!

I've been unsure about what to do with this blog, since I've been posting exclusively on our adoption blog for the past two months.

Do I hang up my hat here at The Starshine Report? After all, this blog was created to chronicle my life in Los Angeles, and that chapter has come to a close and a new chapter has started. I can still post about other things on our adoption blog and make that my sole place to write.

Do I post primarily on our adoption blog and occasionally here? I do have some Starshine-y things to write about still, like the awesome acting class I found here in Houston that I've been attending on Monday nights this month, and LOVED it! Or the two new pairs of jeans that I found and bought during a one hour intensive shopping trip today. (Impressive, huh?)

Anywho, I just haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do with this blog, but for those of you who still stop by...I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you!

I'm a Mom!

2010-08-10T22:16:00.005-05:00

On August 4th, an Ethiopian judge said, "They are yours", and we became the parents of two wonderful sons!

Jeremy:

and Zachary:

We love them so much, and look forward to bringing them home in early September!

Lots more details about our trip and our boys are being posted on our adoption blog!

One Week old and Already Breaking Hearts (Well, mine that is!)

2010-07-28T12:25:00.004-05:00

My sweet nephew Gus came over for his one week old photo shoot on Monday, and suffice it to say, the little guy has completely stolen my heart. He's so little and sweet and precious and...I could go on and on. But it would be much easier to just show you how wonderful he is. Prepare yourself, though...he might just steal your heart, too.

Brian and I are beside ourselves with glee...we're going to Ethiopia on Friday to meet our sons! Tune in to our adoption blog for updates (if we have access to the internet, that is)!

Big hugs to all!

Meet Gus!

2010-07-20T22:54:00.003-05:00

Dear Gus,

Yesterday, your Mom texted me in the wee hours of the morning to tell me that her water broke and that she would be having a baby later in the day--and you got it...that baby was you! You made your entrance into the world at 7:06 via c-section yesterday morning, and you've been charming the world ever since!

I got to meet you just three and a half hours after you were born, and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with you and your Mom and Dad in the hospital room. We mostly stared at you and passed you around so that we could all cuddle you.

You are just precious, and I'm already in love with you. Being an aunt to your awesome big brother Sam has been one of the sweetest gifts of my life, and I'm so blessed to be your aunt now, too. I'll be here for you whenever you need me--to hang out, to talk, to pray with you or whatever!

You can be sure that I've got a heart full of auntie love for you, and I'm blessed and honored to be a part of your life's journey. May God bless you and this beautiful life He's given you, Gus!

All my love,

Tia

Until Future Notice...

2010-07-07T21:37:00.003-05:00

I'm blogging a whole lot more over on our adoption blog, and I think I will be for the foreseeable future. So if things seem too slow around here, just come over HERE to see what's going on in our world!

Three Years Ago Today...

2010-06-30T16:12:00.002-05:00

About this time three years ago today, my family and all of the bridesmaids had made their way into the church or to the lobby of the church to make their processions, and I was left alone in the bride's room. All fell quiet, and I looked in the mirror and realized, "Wow! I'm a bride!" The moment I'd been dreaming about for much of my life was here. And then just like that, someone came and told me it was time!

I walked down the aisle, and we made our vows to one another!

This morning when I entered my kitchen, my beloved had left me three beautiful bouquets of roses to symbolize our three years together.

Honey, the past three years with you have been a joy and delight! Thank you for being such a wonderful husband. Saying "yes" to your marriage proposal was one of the easiest questions I've ever had to answer! And I'm so thankful that with each passing year I continue to realize that it was also one of the wisest decisions I've ever made. I love you with all my heart!

Simply Breathtaking Talent!

2010-06-17T11:52:00.003-05:00

In case you missed the Tony Awards on Sunday, Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison from GLEE performed with such panache and brilliance and apparent ease, it would simply be a crime for me not to share it here on my blog.

Lea Michele (who is very nearly Barbra Streisand II) performs one of my favorite Streisand songs, "Don't Rain on my Parade". Her performance brought me to tears and makes me thank God for allowing so much beauty in the world. Talent like hers is truly inspiring. Enjoy:

Girl Meets Flat Iron

2010-06-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to do this silly post since my South Carolina girls' weekend in early May. My bestie Anne has these naturally curly locks. They're gorgeous and so is she!

Before:

When we were in S.C., our other friend May and I were flat ironing our hair, and Anne commented that she had never straightened her hair (and after all, why would you when you have locks like hers!) Well, May and I took turns with the flat iron (curls like Anne's are a group effort to tame), and--drum roll please..........

After:

It took all of us (including Anne) a little while to get used to the change. She could totally have an alter ego, huh?

Dirty Little Secret

2010-06-15T00:00:00.002-05:00

A couple of months ago, Hubs and I decided to do a little yard work to pretty up our backyard, so we--and by we, I mean he (I gotta give credit where credit is due)--dug a lot of holes in our yard and planted a bunch of crape myrtles. They do really well here in the extreme Texas heat.

I thought that while we were at the nursery, it would be fun to buy a hanging plant to suspend from our bird feeder. They were gorgeous hot pink petunias that lasted about one week, and then they were completely dead. I wasn't sure if I over or under watered, but they were gone. And rather than heed my Mom's advice and return the plant to the nursery and ask for a new one, I decided to cut all of the shriveled blooms and leaves out of the hanging basket and replace them with some flowers that would never die. That's right, people, I bought fake ones and stuck them right in the same soil as the others!

Aren't they pretty? Even my mom told me they were beautiful, though, as soon as she found out they were fake, she rescinded her compliment. She doesn't do fake flowers. I, on the other hand, love looking at their loveliness when I wash dishes, and I feel smug knowing that it really doesn't matter if I remember to water them or not! It's a win-win.

Well, the other evening, as I was washing dishes and admiring my fake fleurs, I thought, "Wow! Those leaves look SO lifelike! And then this morning (while doing more dishes), I noticed some hot pink buds popping up through the falsies!

Dirty secret EXPOSED! Now what? Do I pull out the fakes and let the real ones live, or should fakery and reality live together in perfect harmony?

Happy Flag Day!

2010-06-14T14:31:00.003-05:00

According to this Wikipedia article,

In the United States, Flag Day is celebrated on June 14. It commemorates the adoption of the flag of the United States, which happened that day by resolution of the Second Continental Congress in 1777.
In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation that officially established June 14 as Flag Day; in August 1949, National Flag Day was established by an Act of Congress.

One of the things I really like about our neighborhood is that many of the families fly American flags in their front yards on national holidays (even our Canadian neighbors! Go Canada!). When I was in junior high school, I used to LOVE being assigned the duty of raising and lowering the American and Texan flags at the beginning and end of the school day. Today, as I put our flag up, the same feeling of patriotism and American pride washed over me!

A Dream Realized

2010-06-07T11:09:00.004-05:00

This weekend, Houston (along with several other U.S. cities) was part of the 48-Hour Film Project! Right here in Houston, sixty production teams had 48-Hours to write, shoot, edit, and turn in a completed short film. I was thrilled to be part of the acting ensemble for one of the teams!

Our production team, Moon Unit 9 Pictures, was headed by Michael Aschner. We had an amazing crew and a wonderful group of actors.

Every film made had to include the following elements:

Character: Sherman or Sharon Brown, recently unemployed

Prop: a book

Line of Dialogue: "There's a $2 service charge."

It was so cool to read our script for the first time and see how Michael wove those elements into the film.

Given the 48-Hour timeframe, the shooting was focused and intense! It was one of those days when it felt like only fifteen minutes had passed, and then I would realize it had actually been two hours! The awesome thing, though, is that when you are passionate about something, all of that focus and intensity feels like pure joy!

At one point, in a quiet moment when I was going from one shoot location to another, I had an awareness that I was living my dreams--that God, in His goodness, had realized one of my dreams! How sweet it is to receive a good and perfect gift from our Father!

He's doing that a lot lately! Thank You, GOD!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

We have some exciting news over on our adoption blog!

2010-05-25T19:14:00.001-05:00

Click HERE to see our big news!

Help me pick a new headshot!

2010-05-18T17:42:00.008-05:00

Hello! About once every two or three years, I get new acting headshots taken. I'm super excited about finding photographer Claire McAdams. She's based in Austin, but comes through Houston 3 or 4 times a year to shoot here.

In the comments section below, please "vote" for your top three choices. I'd really appreciate your input. Thank you (and please forgive me if this seems live a ridiculous exercise in narcissism--I'm an actor...we can be that way sometimes)!

A:

B:

C:

D:

E:

F:

G:

H:

I:

J:

K:

L:

Remembering Lynn Redgrave

2010-05-03T17:27:00.008-05:00

Yesterday actress Lynn Redgrave passed away. The stage and the silver screen have lost a shining star.

In the mid-90s, my mother took me to see Lynn Redgrave perform her one-woman show, Shakespeare for my Father at the Alley Theatre in Houston. We waited to meet her after the show, and she was gracious and kind to us strangers.

I remember how brilliantly she used Shakespeare's plays to revisit her relationship with her father (Sir Robert Redgrave, a giant of the English stage). I admired her vulnerability, as she laid bare her soul's deep desire to know her deceased father better, and I respected how she could be honest about her own emotions (a deep longing for a closeness with him that he wasn't really able to give) while still honoring her father and his legacy.

You might remember her turn as the wife of prodigy pianist David Helfgott in the film Shine. Sheer genius! She brought such joy to her eccentric character, and I remember it vividly, even though I haven't seen the film for over a decade.

Thank you, Lynn, for YOUR legacy that lives on in your writings and film performances. And thank you most of all for your performance in Shakespeare for my Father that lives on in my memory. Your vulnerability on stage touched something in my soul, and I'm grateful.

I like to think of you reunited with your father in Heaven, finally getting to know each other the way you'd always hoped.

Lay her i' th' earth,

And from her fair and unpolluted flesh

May violets spring!

~Hamlet

Photo Shoot: Beautiful Baby Girl!

2010-04-29T23:20:00.003-05:00

This sweet girl is the daughter of some friends of ours. She is such a sweet baby!

If you'd like to see more of this set, you can click here to see a few more!

Photo by Starshine Photography!

Uncle and Nephew

2010-04-27T23:17:00.002-05:00

Sam came over to our house on Saturday. He and Brian were dressed alike, and they didn't even plan it! I guess great men have great fashion sense and that's all there is to it!

It was so adorable seeing the two of them swinging next to each other on the swing set. I'm not sure who had the most fun!

Based on the smiles on their faces, I think it was a tie!

Baby Birdies

2010-04-21T16:52:00.001-05:00

Still no referral, but the dove outside the nursery windows is a mama! Actually, shortly after I took the last photos, I noticed the little baby birds in the nest. They're growing by the day!

He's a Mensch!

2010-04-19T13:48:00.003-05:00

Have you seen this interview that President Bill Clinton gave to Jenna Bush Hager?

It was worth watching for the four minutes that it lasted. Besides the novelty of watching a Bush interview a Clinton, it was sweet to see their interactions. No doubt that Clinton has done some wonderful humanitarian work in the years since his presidency ended. But my favorite moment of this interview was when Hager asked him how he thought he would feel when Chelsea walks down the aisle.

The man paused and as his thoughts drifted toward Chelsea and her upcoming wedding day, his face changed from presidential to paternal, and the man was a downright sweetheart.

I think it is helpful to remember that the people who we most often know as talking heads delivering carefully scripted sound-bytes are also capable of thoughtfulness and candor--their human emotions run as deeply as our own!

Mary Poppins Moment

2010-04-13T15:27:00.002-05:00

I had a total Mary Poppins moment today when I looked out the window of the room that will be our nursery to see this lovely lady sitting atop her nest.

Maybe we'll become mothers around the same time!

Wildflowers

2010-04-11T23:12:00.005-05:00

This is the time of year when the highways and country sides are decorated with the brilliant colors of Texas wildflowers.

Their beauty inspires people of all ages.

On Friday, we drove out to Brenham where we met my sister and nephew to take pictures in the bluebonnets. Jilly really needs to work on having fun, don't you think? ;)

The weather was just beautiful, and so was the ranch where we stopped to take these pictures. (Many thanks to the kind owners who let us tromp through their flowers!)

It was a really great day!

TMI? I say, "Share on!"

2010-04-08T17:07:00.002-05:00

So I just read this article about "Oversharing in the Workplace", which regales the reader with such horror stories as one worker having to hear his office buddy share a story about shaving his legs before a bicycle race, or another woman blurting out that her 16 year old son was conceived on her first date with her husband in high school.

All I can think in response to the article is, "Really? Have we as a society become so isolated that we can't handle hearing a male coworker talk about shaving his legs for a bicycle race?"

I'm not saying that appropriate boundaries aren't important, because they are. However, I think it's sad that we live our lives behind such well constructed walls that we find it hard to hear even such benign things as shaving ones legs for a race.

Okay, so admitting that you had sex on the first date with your husband might be inappropriate work conversation. I get that. But what I also get is that we are human beings with quirks and frailties, and I'm not sure that what we classify as "oversharing" really is "Too Much Information".

Maybe it's just a way to say, "Hi. I'm alive, and I fail, and I have joys and I cry sometimes. Am I the only one?"

What if instead of looking the other way while shouting "T-M-I!", we could look that person in the eye and say, "Dude! Did you have to borrow your wife's razor for that?"

At worst, we might feel uncomfortable. At best, we might make a new friend!

Para Mis Chicas...

2010-04-06T17:19:00.002-05:00

I’m writing this post as I fly home from a week spent with two of my dearest friends. We had a fabulous week together in Charleston, South Carolina. It continues to be one of my favorite American cities.

As wonderful a place as Charleston is--and we went to so many cool places--my favorite moments of the trip were our evenings together at home when we just sat around talking, drinking wine and having dinner together. These dinners were Spanish style, of course, which means they included a big salad, a baguette, and a plate of sliced salami and strong cheese! In true Spanish fashion, these dinners usually got going around 9 or 10 pm and then lasted a couple of hours.

The three of us met in 2002/3 working for the same organization in Zaragoza. We became super close friends then and that closeness continues to this day. (And I really have no doubt that it will continue forever!)

As we parted at the airport, we hugged and cried and said our goodbyes. I’m blessed to have such special friends.

!Chicas, gracias por pintar mi vida de mil colores!

Charleston: Day 6 -- Isle of Palms

2010-04-04T00:53:00.004-05:00

Today has been my favorite day of the trip so far. After a leisurely morning of sleeping in, coffee and breakfast, we went for a walk on the beach at Isle of Palms.

Tonight, we made predictions (and wrote them down!) about what our lives will be like three years from now when we hope to meet up again. May calls it "Three by Three"--every three years the three of us will endeavor to get together. We stayed up late talking. It was a rich time of friendship. I was a little sad this morning realizing that in two more days we'll all go back to our separate corners of the world (one of us in TX, one in the Carolinas, and the other in Spain), but I am so thankful and so content to have these women as my dear, dear friends. I love them.

I hope you all have a very Happy Easter!

Day 4: Angel Oak and Kiawah Island

2010-04-02T22:00:00.006-05:00

Thursday, we drove out to Kiawah Island. On the way, we stopped to visit "Angel Oak". It is gigantic and beautiful!

Kiawah Island has a lovely resort where we had lunch...

And then we walked down to the beach.

May and I enjoyed a lovely walk 'n' talk together on the beach while Anne took a little nap on her beach towel. Doesn't she look like Audrey Hepburn in her little black dress?!

WOW!

2010-04-01T22:53:00.003-05:00

Did you read the story/see the amazing photos of the woman who went paddle boarding on a 40 mile voyage to encourage her best friend in her fight against breast cancer? For two of the nine hours of her journey, she was escorted by a friendly whale!

Click HERE to read the whole story...it's totally worth the read!

Charleston: Day 2 -- A Walk Through I'on

2010-04-01T10:35:00.003-05:00

I'on is a new development, but the architecture is full of Old Charleston charm. Pure architectural eye candy.

Day 1: Arrive in Charleston!

2010-03-30T21:47:00.002-05:00

The fun started right away when Anne greeted me at the airport with cachirulos for each of us! ¡Olé!We grabbed some lunch, dropped my stuff off at her house and then headed back to the airport to pick up May. On the way to the airport, we saw a rainbow that was 180 degrees!

Then we met our Spanish friend May who came all the way from Zaragoza. We're having a blast!

Semana Santa

2010-03-29T23:48:00.006-05:00

I’m on an airplane as I type this en route to Charleston, SC, where my best friend Anne lives. We’re going to spend Easter Week together with our dear friend, May, who is flying in from Spain for a girls’ week! I’m so excited to see them--to have a whole week together feels like friendship decadence! The three of us met back in 2002/3 when we were all working together in Spain. We became fast friends, and I’m so thankful that we have maintained our friendships over the past seven years!

In thinking about this trip, it occurred to me that Anne and I have have spent one other Easter week together. It was Holy Week (or Semana Santa, as they say in Spain) of 2003. I was living in Zaragoza, and a group of my American friends/co-workers and I decided to take a trip down to Seville where Semana Santa is celebrated in grand style.

There are processions through the streets with giant floats depicting scenes from the original Holy Week:

Photo found here.

Operatic songs are sung in the open air:

Photo found here.

Women are dressed in their traditional headdresses:

Photo found here.

And then there is the most striking sight of all: the throngs of people walking through the streets in these hooded garments that look to my American eyes precisely like those worn by the Ku Klux Klan.

Photo found here.

It is a most disconcerting thing to see. I never could get used to it. After associating such an image with the most heinous and unsavory of aspect of American culture, it was hard to see it as having any other meaning, regardless of what country I was in.

As I came to learn, Spaniards have worn such garments during Holy Week for centuries. The hooded cloaks are symbols of repentance. I tried to get comfortable with that and to dissociate what I saw around me in the streets of Seville from the symbol of hate that hooded cloaks symbolize here in America.

But it was impossible.

I have always tended to diffuse uncomfortable moments with humor, and Anne still gets the giggles when we reminisce about one particular day of our trip to Seville when I leaned over to her and said, “Hey, Annie, purple Kluxer at six o’clock”.

I am now arrived safely in Charleston, and perched on Anne's kitchen countertop to greet me was this little trinket she bought in Seville those many years ago.

Nothing like a little purple-clad penitent to bring back memories!

Newsies!

2010-03-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

I'm pleased to announce that I'm not the only actor in the family! One of the many joys of my trip to San Francisco this past weekend was getting to see my "nephew and niece" perform in their school play. I put them in quotes because they are technically cousins, but because of our age differences, one of my nephews called me "Aunt Tracy" this weekend, and as you already know, I relish my role as aunt in life, and I'm happy to adopt anyone as a niece or nephew who would like me to be their auntie!

My nephew played the role of "Racetrack Higgins", a gambling man with a penchant for cigars (chocolate ones in the case of this school production)! Here he is singing his heart out:

And here is my beautiful niece (center) who played one of the newsies:

The two of them are cousins, and here they are doing a scene together:

I was truly impressed by my nephew's fully developed character. He was really quite impressive to watch on stage:

"Strike! Strike! Strike!"

Way to go you two! I'm proud of you!

Interesting Timing. What do you make of this?

2010-03-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

I've noticed that even when I'm eating what I consider to be a normal diet of foods, my weight continues to creep ever upward. It is very discouraging.

This morning, I came across this article which basically states that the latest research shows that women who don't diet (like me) but just eat a regular diet of foods can slow weight gain (but not necessarily stave it off) if they exercise at a moderately intense level for an hour a day. And that means seven days a week.

When researchers followed more than 34,000 non-dieting women (average age 54.2) over many years, they found that regular physical activity was associated with gaining less weight over time—but only in women who weren't overweight or obese. (That means a BMI of lower than 25, or less than 150 pounds for a 5'5" woman.) And those women had to exercise quite a bit: An average of an hour a day of moderately intense activity—such as a brisk walk—or the equivalent (if you exercise more strenuously, less time is required) during a week was the amount of activity recorded for the normal-weight women who gained less than 5 pounds during the 13-year study. (Just 13.3 percent of women studied fit that bill.)

While it is encouraging that 420 minutes per week of moderately intense exercise will help stave off those extra pounds, I find it mildly heartbreaking that it won't make even the tiniest dent in them, in terms of losing some of them! To do that, I would have to exercise above and beyond those seven hours a week and probably go on a diet, too.

And truthfully, as I observe my normal routine, I believe that to be true. Here's the thing, though: I don't really want to go on a diet. Diets don't really work in terms of keeping weight off. That requires a lifestyle change, and my current lifestyle isn't excessive in terms of what I eat.

It seems like nature's way is for a woman to gain weight over time, and it is emotionally exhausting to be engaged in a never ending fight that it seems like I'm destined to lose.

For now, all I can seem to muster is to enjoy my food (which is hard to do when I'm feeling constantly anxious about it sticking to my hips and tummy), to try to eat a balanced diet, and to get out and exercise for the health benefits (ie. a healthy heart) even if I'm not losing weight in the process.

I'd love to hear thoughts from any of you women out there. I'm discouraged.

Note: I'm 100% aware that my body won't change if I don't change. I'm willing to make a change, but it's going to have to be something that I can maintain over time. Right now, I'm thinking that might mean going on a morning and an evening walk, to increase my amount of exercise.

Newest Member of the Family

2010-03-24T12:26:00.005-05:00

My cousin and his beautiful wife recently gave birth to this little sweetheart! I got to meet her this weekend while I was in California, and let me tell you...she is a little bundle of precious preciousness!

Does anything melt your heart like a beaming father delighting in his new baby?! I also love generational pictures like this one!

Even though the new baby and I are officially first cousins once removed, her mom was calling me "Aunt Tracy", and of course, I love the title! I never had any idea how happy I would be as an auntie. It's one of my favorite roles in life!

*sigh* I love my family!

Warlike

2010-03-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

One thing I've discovered about myself during my adulthood is this: I am a very sweet person, but the moment a person begins to manipulate or pressure me, a vengeful warrior (who typically is enjoying a lazy slumber somewhere in my interior world) emerges with her arrow drawn back in the bow, fit and ready for battle.

Brian and I have been taking ballroom dance classes together, and last night after our lesson, our teacher explained to us that next week we would need to decide what the next package of classes would be that we should buy. It was a sloppy sales job and the details were very unclear. Finally, I just told our instructor that I am a straightforward person and she could just tell us plainly what to expect. She explained that private classes would cost $100 each, but if we bought them clumped together, say in a package of 10 classes, they would only cost $90 each. I asked if we could buy them in smaller clumps, say in a package of 4 classes, and she responded by asking me, "Why wouldn't you want to invest in 10 classes at once, knowing that you'll need at least that many to meet your goals for learning?"

Well, I don't know how that question would have felt to you if you were on the receiving end of it, but to me it felt like pressure. Hello! Ten classes at $90 each is $900! That is a lot of money!

Immediately, my inner warrior emerged, and I found myself looking down a drawn arrow and my instructor was on the other end. "Why shouldn't I pay for my classes in increments of four at a time? I prefer to buy things in smaller packages. We could have a baby soon and things could change!" I became irritated that I was being asked to justify to her how and why I would choose to spend our money.

And you know what? Our instructor got the message. She continued in her sales pitch, but it took on a more respectful tone.

For all of my life, I have been a very sensitive soul. When I was younger, I would get trod upon emotionally because even though someone might say something harsh to me, I often didn't have the gumption or quickness to say anything back. As an adult, though, things have changed. I learned a great principle in a self-defense class that I think transfers well to interpersonal conflict: if a potential attacker starts talking at you harshly to intimidate you, you are supposed to match his/her tone and volume. This shows that you have strength and often the attacker will back down, because they look for an easy target. In interpersonal conflict, I've found that if someone becomes aggressive with their words and I then match their tone, it quickly levels the playing field and the conversation very quickly takes on a better tone because the other person realizes that I am not a someone to be trifled with.

Last night, after we left the dance studio, Brian told me that he hates to see me get upset, but I assured him that even though it is a significant departure from the sweet me that he lives with on a daily basis, I really like the warrior part of my personality.

In doing research for baby names, I ended up researching my own name and its meaning. I found on BabyNamer.com that "its source is Treasaigh, an Irish Gaelic name meaning 'Warlike'".

Love it!

Texan Right of Passage

2010-03-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

You're not a true Texan until you partake of the deliciousness that is Blue Bell Ice Cream. It has been a Texas tradition for over 100 years and is made in Brenham, TX. Apparently, it is now available in 19 states and has become the third best selling ice cream in the country.

But every Texan knows, "Blue Bell's the BEST ice cream in the country!"

Below is a news story if you'd like to learn more:

She's an "E" on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

2010-03-16T15:19:00.003-05:00

Last week was my sister's birthday. Happy Birthday, Jilly!

These are the only three photos I took of her on her birthday, and if they aren't proof of her extroverted personality, I'm not sure what more evidence I can provide. Also? She's halfway through her pregnancy, which means that not only is she the life of the party, but she's also adorably petite as she wins friends and influences people!

I think it's time for some therapy, because I'm starting to have that jealous feeling I did in high school when she was the head cheerleader, and I had to quit the tennis team because I wasn't good enough to make the varsity team my senior year. ;)

Seriously, though, sometimes I just have to laugh because I am the tallest person in my immediate family. My Mom, Dad and sister? All of them are tiny little pocket people! And I'm the Amazon Queen of the family. In case you need proof of this, I went to my sister's house yesterday after an audition to hang out with her and Sam. All I had with me was the dress and high heels I was wearing, and I needed something more comfy. Jilly lent me a t-shirt and pair of sweats she wears when she's pregnant...the pants fit me perfectly...just a little short in the length!

A Gal and Her Doggy

2010-03-10T13:53:00.004-06:00

Last week, my mother-in-law and her beloved Dakota were here for a visit, and I couldn't resist taking their pictures.

Isn't Dakota the World's Cutest Dog?

(besides your dog, of course)!

He's very sweet and knows some tricks, too--

like how to "give you five"!

Buddies.

Family!

2010-03-09T15:05:00.005-06:00

I can hardly believe we've been in our house for about a year now! It's funny--of all the rooms in our house that I've documented on this blog in terms of my progress with nesting, our home office has definitely received the most attention. The rest of our house is more traditional/Pottery Barn-esque, but our study was a blank canvas of all white walls, and I wanted it to be a colorful room, full of life with modern lines. (Click HERE and HERE and HERE to see the various stages of nesting!)

For several months now, I have been wanting to do a wall of black and white family photos in black frames. A couple weeks ago, my friend Jenn visited from Los Angeles, and she encouraged me to go out and buy the frames, so we went to Aaron Brothers and picked out several frames in various sizes, and then I went to town deciding on which photos I wanted to enlarge.

My Mom came over yesterday, she suggested that I buy the "Family" sign, which I love! I ended up enlarging a couple of my favorite wedding photos taken by Jen Disney. She's based in Orange County, CA and does excellent work. I also chose some of my other favorites of our family members...

...like this one of my Mom in her wedding dress!

Family is such a sweet blessing, and having their photos up and about on our walls is a sweet reminder of the precious gift that they are to us!

Restraint is HOT!

2010-03-01T17:08:00.006-06:00

Last weekend, some friends got together for a girls' night to watch the BBC/A&E five hour version of Pride and Prejudice.

Image found here.

What a great film! I'm amazed at how relevant some of the themes of this movie still are today, and how wonderfully rich the characters and story are.

My friend Catherine and I stared at the screen transfixed by Mr. Darcy's delicious gentlemanliness. Now that was a man of integrity! He was honest, a man of his word, one who could own his failures and apologize for them, and still be someone who stood strong for the things he believed were right.

Watching the movie was so different from watching the romantic comedies of today. We have grown so accustomed to seeing every other character fall into bed together that we've become desensitized to it. I was struck when watching Pride and Prejudice that the steamiest thing to happen between the protagonists was their first kiss after they were married!

As I pondered the thing that made Mr. Darcy so darn sexy, it was simply that he had stellar character.

When Brian and I were engaged, we were amused at how often people were taken completely by surprise when they would find out that we weren't living together. It was just assumed by so many people that we would be cohabiting. And really, why would people think differently? That has become the norm in our culture.

I'll never forget Brian telling me why "saving it" for marriage was so important to him (and yes, it was important to me, too): "This is my one opportunity to prove to you that I have self-control. You are the love of my life, and by abstaining now, you will know that after we are married, I have the self-control to save my love for only you."

I loved that logic. It wasn't self-righteous--it was totally selfless and affirming of me! My man was determined to love me with restraint in order to reveal his character, and to me that was HOT, HOT, HOT!

As Lizzie Bennett might say, "Indeed, I have married exceedingly well!"

Sisters

2010-02-26T10:00:00.002-06:00

In the spirit of sisterhood, I'd like to encourage my Texan readership to get out and vote for my fellow Pi Phi Kay Bailey Hutchison for governor!

Photo Shoot: Could One Month Look Any Cuter?

2010-02-19T00:23:00.003-06:00

I took these photos on Tuesday of my sweet friend's adorable new baby boy. I think newborn photography is my favorite!

9 Chickweed Lane

2010-02-11T08:55:00.004-06:00

I'm not typically interested in comics, but one day, when I was surfing the net, Yahoo featured a comic called 9 Chickweed Lane. The title of the comic intrigued me and the premise captured my imagination--it chronicles the lives of 3 generations of women in the same family.

Currently, the grandmother of the tribe is in the hospital with a long recovery, and she's recounting to her daughter the story of how she and her husband met. She was a USO girl during WWII, and he was in the Army. It is a touching story that has me checking in daily to hear the next installment. (Click on image below to enlarge.)

If you have too much time on your hands and you feel like reading through the recent archives, you may find yourself captivated by a genre that has never before interested you. I am a sucker for generational stories, and I love that this one is about the women in the family. And just to add an interesting twist to the whole thing, it is authored/drawn by a man!

It reads a little bit like a romance novel, but with more substance and wit. Just like in a good book, I began to care about these characters early on, and now I find myself checking in on their story and following their journey....

Sit a Spell...

2010-02-04T14:43:00.002-06:00

Last weekend, Brian and I drove to Brenham, TX, home of Blue Bell Ice Cream and Texas' oldest furniture store! We decided to browse around the latter (I love getting ideas for home decorating!), and we found this distressed looking bench, which I thought might be just right for a wall in our kitchen. It also had this lovely feature--hooray for under-seat storage!

Once we got it in our kitchen we both started to have our doubts. We loved the shape of the bench and the little cut-outs along the back, but we thought it looked too driftwood-like, and a little gray for our kitchen. BUT, after 24 hours, it started to grow on me. I laid a blanket on the seat and threw a couple pillows on it, thinking that if I made a seat cushion and pillows, it might tone down the driftwood-ness of it and tie it in with the rest of the house.

I knew it was time to call in reinforcements. I sent my mom and sister an e-mail putting in a plea for them to come over to my house the next day to help me make a decision. No sooner had I put out the request, they BOTH responded. The next morning they were at my house (Sam, too!), and it took them two seconds to agree that we should keep it and make a cushion and pillows. So, we hopped in the car and went to Hobby Lobby, where we bought the needed supplies, and voila!

I'm so pleased with the results! Many thanks to my sister and Mom for their help! This was a day-long project, and I really couldn't have done it without them. Jill found the pattern we used for the seat cushion here.

It's days like these that make me so grateful for the life God has given us back here in Texas. To be able to get together on such short notice and crank out a project like this was awesome. It was like a sororital barn-raising! But I'm most grateful to have family that loves me so much that they were willing to devote a day just to helping me. A big THANK YOU to Mom, Jilly and Sam! xoxoxo!

Reaching Across the Aisle

2010-01-27T22:56:00.004-06:00

While watching the State of the Union address tonight, I became convicted that perhaps I have more left-wing leanings than I thought. Sure, I might be a card-carrying Republican, but I'm also a member of a union. Yes, I like my government on the smallish side, but I also want the National Endowment for the Arts to keep live theatre, well...alive!

The thing that really made me realize that I'm reaching farther across the aisle than ever before? Nancy Pelosi and I...

...totally have the same haircut! See?

Now I know you're thinking, "Please, Tracy, you have bangs and Nancy doesn't." But to that I say, "I'm trying to keep things non-partisan around here people! Sometimes you have to overlook the little differences to find the things shared in common."

Yahtzeeholics

2010-01-23T21:30:00.002-06:00

When we traveled to Virginia for Thanksgiving, I played my first game of Yahtzee. Brian's family has been playing it for years, but this was my foray into the wonderful world of Yahtzee, and I was instantly hooked. We played everyday for the rest of our vacation.

I loved it so much, Brian gave me the game for Christmas.

His mom came for a visit last week, and again, we played it everyday. It's a lot of fun, and it doesn't require so much concentration that you can't chat while you play.

Here's a picture of Brian and his mom showing off her "snake eyes Yahtzee"!

Who knew this little game of dice would become a family obsession? I didn't see it coming, but I can't stop rolling for just one more Yahtzee!

Butterflies!

2010-01-19T23:46:00.003-06:00

One of Houston's treasures is the Butterfly Center at the Museum of Natural Science. It is a permanent exhibit, and it proved to be a wonderful place to spend part of a rainy afternoon last week.

How many butterflies can you spot on this branch?....

There must be about 50-60 varieties of butterflies on display at the Center, just fluttering and lighting on plants all around you.

This one was my favorite. The underside of the wings (shown here) are brown and moth-like, but the topside of the wings (which are hidden in this picture) are a wonderfully rich cerulean shade of blue!

I highly recommend it!

Adorable Birthday Cuteness!

2010-01-11T12:57:00.004-06:00

This photo is just a teaser. Click here to see more birthday cake fun from the party I shot this weekend! It will make you smile. You won't be able to resist his adorableness!

Photo by Starshine Photography.

Because I'm a Grown-Up and I Can Do What I Want...That's Why!

2010-01-08T18:13:00.002-06:00

After Christmas, Brian and I decided to treat ourselves to a little getaway weekend at the hotel where we had our wedding reception. It's only a short drive away, and it's located near a ton of great restaurants and shopping, as well as two movie theaters. We certainly took advantage of those amenities and had a great time!

As there were mega after-Christmas sales going on, I was delighted to buy a cute down vest--something that I've long wanted, but never really needed. One of the features of my vest is that it has a detachable zip-on/zip-off hood, which I immediately zipped off and never thought of again. That is, I never gave it a second thought until today, when I began to do a bit of tidying and had to find a new home for the unzipped hood. (It had been sitting in a heap on my floor.)

That's when things got a little dicey, and I realized that the pain of finding a place to store it simply wasn't worth it, as I don't like hoods, and I knew I'd never zip it on. Ever.

So I threw it away. I threw an unused, perfectly good hood away.

I don't know why, but that seemed so wrong to me. Shouldn't I save it just in case? At the very least, there must be some craft I can create with it. Maybe a homeless person somewhere needs a hood... I confess that I even called my sister at home and on her cell phone to ask her if it was okay to do that. As it turned out, she didn't answer either call, and I had too much self respect to leave her a voice message asking her permission to throw away a clothing item that I bought with my own money and knew that I would never wear anyway.

That's when the voice inside told me that I needed to put on my big girl panties and throw the hood away. I would not get in trouble. No one would judge me, and even if they did, I would survive.

So there. I did it. All on my own. Because I'm a grown-up and I can do what I want!

Glory and Beauty

2010-01-05T09:39:00.006-06:00

This morning, I was reading the part of the Book of Exodus in which God is giving Moses instructions on how to make the priestly garments to be worn by Aaron and his sons when they enter the Tent of Meeting and the Holy Place to offer sacrifices before God. It struck me that in two different places, God's instructions are to "Make sacred vestments for your brother Aaron to symbolize glory and beauty", and later, "Make tunics, sashes, and hats for Aaron's sons to express glory and beauty". (Italics added for emphasis.)

God even tells Moses to "Consult with the skilled craftsmen, those whom I have gifted in this work, and arrange for them to make Aaron's vestments...."

In the midst of what feels like rather dry reading, I find it somehow comforting to see that the things that make my heart race a little faster--glory and beauty--are also on the heart of God. In fact, I think they reflect His very character. It's not just that He appreciates glory and beauty, it's that glory and beauty are part of who God is!

I love that God directs Moses to go consult with the skilled craftsmen, and that He even calls those craftsmen "those whom I have gifted in this work". As an artist, it is very affirming to see that God values artists and artistry and that He is explicit in letting Moses know that He has gifted them in this work.

Often in my adult life, I have felt like the very talents with which God has gifted me are the very hardest skills with which to earn a living. I have felt like a dreamer most of the time and like a slacker during a few low points, but during those golden moments when I am working as an actress--when I am doing exactly what God has created me to do--time seems to stand still, because in those precious moments, I am able to reflect the beauty and the glory of God, simply by being who He made me to be and by doing what He made me to do. Those brief moments in the grand scheme of life shine like stars in the night sky of my memories, and I hope they will bring glory to my great God for all eternity!

A Cultural Context

2010-01-02T18:01:00.011-06:00

Today, this day after New Year's Day when the gyms reopen and throngs of people flood through the doors to work off their holiday calories, I went to my first "Zumba" class. Zumba is an aerobic workout class done to Latin Music and incorporating the fundamentals of Latin Dance, such as salsa, merengue, samba, etc. It was an awesome workout. I left having worked up a good sweat and feeling a little more guapa and tranquila. ¡Olé!

As I was moving to the rhythms of the latin music, I thought about my year in Spain and how thankful I am to have an insight into Spanish culture. And of course, I've spent the majority of my life right here in Texas! It is impossible to grow up here without a bit of the local Mexican culture rubbing off on you, and for that I am happy and grateful! It made me glad that even though I would never pretend to completely understand the various latin cultures with which I've rubbed elbows, I do have a context for them! And today, I felt humbled and thankful to have a context for the dances I was doing and the music I was listening to. When the Zumba instructor spoke Spanish to our mostly latino class, I knew what she was saying, and when I heard the music, I could dance the salsa with a little bit of flair!

Last night, Brian and I watched a video, which is part of our required adoption training. The video was called "Grief and Loss in Adoption". The idea is that the hub at the center of the wheel of the adoption triad (birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptee) is loss. Obviously the birth parents have to grieve the significant loss of their child when they make a plan to place for adoption. Whether the adoptive parents are choosing adoption because of infertility or not, they still have to grieve the loss of their genetic continuity. What I hadn't stopped very long to consider, though, was the significant losses that an adoptee faces: loss of medical information/history, loss of knowing biological family, loss of nation of origin (in the case of international adoption), and a loss of control over the whole process (the adoptee never chose to be placed for adoption and didn't choose their adoptive family).

One of the people interviewed in the video was a lovely woman in her 20s or 30s. She was adopted from South Korea as an infant and raised in a caucasian family in Baltimore, Maryland. She spoke with a southern accent, and talked about her experiences of loss through her adoption. One of the things she has grieved as an adult was the loss of her identity as a Korean. Although she feels like an American girl internally, externally she is Asian. She spoke of not really fitting in with the Asian community because although she might look Asian, she has no grasp of Korean/Asian culture. What she did know, though--without a doubt--was that she was a Cockran (the last name of her adoptive family).

Her suggestion to American families adopting from abroad was to think of exposing not only their adopted child to their culture of origin, but to have the mindset that the whole family adopts a bit of that culture. So in our case, just as we will adopt an Ethiopian child/ren into our family, our family will also become a little bit Ethiopian. Brian and I thought that made a lot of sense. While we will never be able to have a firm grasp on all things Ethiopian, we can make an effort to become a little bit Ethiopian as a family. We can go as a family to eat Ethiopian food (which we did today for lunch!). We can play Ethiopian music at home and celebrate certain Ethiopian holidays as a family.

My hope is that if my child/ren one day return to Ethiopia, that they will have the same sense that I had today in my Zumba class. Although they won't have a 100% grasp of life in Ethiopia, I hope the rhythms they hear, and the flavors of the food they taste will be just familiar enough to feel a part of it all because they have a context for it. And on days when my child/ren feel like they're not quite part of any one ethnic/cultural community, I hope they will know without a doubt they they are Owens!

New Year's Day Ponderings

2010-01-01T17:46:00.006-06:00

Today we took down our indoor Christmas decorations, and it just looks so bare without our tree and the other bright lights up! While I'm feeling incredibly blessed to have had such a wonderful holiday season, I confess I'm feeling a little blue now that the glad noels and shining bells are coming to an end.

I'm really looking forward to seeing my mother-in-law soon! She and her RV will be arriving in Texas in about a week and a half or two, and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with her. She's a great mother-in-law, and I'm looking forward to some serious games of Yahtzee!

I'm ready to meet my baby/babies. We are just over halfway through our time sitting on the wait list, and I told Brian today that I'm just feeling so ready for our adoption to move forward! The waiting has been relatively easy for the first half, but I have a feeling that the second half will be harder.

I really want to spice things up on my blog! I've gotten away from the introspective writing that once made my blog more interesting (in my opinion!), and I want to get back to that. Even though my purpose for starting this blog was to have a place to express myself free from the judgment of my inner critic, I still find it hard to be as vulnerable as I want to be on my blog. I want to get over that in 2010!

I don't know if it's that I'm 35 now and something has shifted or what, but I'm feeling largely nonplussed about making unrealistic New Year's resolutions. There are a few things I'd like to accomplish this year, but I feel much more private about them than I typically would, sort of like they are personal treasures in my heart that I'm pondering with myself and with God, but I feel absolutely no need to shout them from the rooftops.

I watched the Florida State game today with Brian. It was so awesome to see Bobby Bowden go out with a WIN! What an amazing career he's had--57 years! He's in his 80s and looks so young! I think there is something so awesome about working at your dream job for all those years! I can completely understand why he didn't retire sooner. Who would want to quit one's dream job?

Speaking of dreams fulfilled, three years ago today, Brian proposed to me in La Jolla, CA, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I'm so glad I married him!

On that note, I hope that each of you have had some dreams realized in 2009 and that 2010 will be a year full of hope, abundant blessings, and many dreams fulfilled!

Decade in Reveiw

2009-12-31T09:54:00.004-06:00

2000: I rang in the New Millennium in Houston, where I had recently moved. Happily Y2K arrived and nothing horrible happened. The computers kept running and so did the stop lights. I registered for my first personal e-mail account, and I still use it today!

2001: Mom, Jill and I went on a "girls' trip" on a tour of the Holy Land. It was awesome. I was cast as the lead in June Moon at Main Street Theatre. My Mom married John!

2002: I worked a lot this year in theatre, doing An Experiment with an Air Pump and The Three Cornered Hat at Main Street Theater and Parade at The Masquerade Theatre. I moved to Spain and made friends with a wonderful group of people who I still adore today! I also found my wedding dress in a store-front window--no groom in sight, but it was love at first sight when I found that dress!

2003: I met my best friend, Anne, when she moved to Spain and joined the team I was working with. Jilly got married! Mom and John came to visit me in Spain, and we bought the wedding dress! Our wonderful John passed away. I moved back to Houston.

2004: I turned 30! I did In the Garden of Live Flowers and Seussical at Main Street Theater. I went back to Spain for a visit with my friends and had a great time.

2005: I decided to moved to Los Angeles. On the drive out to LA, my mom, sister and I met up with my Dad and the four of us had lunch together. It was the first time since I was 18 years old that the four of us had been together like that, and it was powerful in a way that is hard to put into words. I wanted to freeze time.

2006: My Dad gave me a laptop computer, and I joined eHarmony and met Brian! I also started this blog to chronicle my life in LA and my eHarmony experience.

2007: Brian proposed to me on New Year's Day and we married six months later. We had an awesome honeymoon in Kauai and now I'm a married woman!

2008: My father passed away. We flew to Texas for his funeral and to San Francisco for another funeral and his burial. He is buried next to his parents. I was in my first play in Los Angeles--How the Other Half Loves at Long Beach Playhouse. Brian was offered a job in the Houston area, and we decided to take the job! We looked for houses the day after Christmas and made an offer by the end of the year!

2009: I was in the play Our Leading Lady in Palos Verdes, and got reveiwed by Variety! We moved to Houston, TX, and love it here! We began the adoption process and are finishing the decade waiting to be matched with our child/ren.

I think 2010 will be the year we become parents, and I imagine the upcoming decade will have a lot to do with raising kids!

Two Ways to Melt my Heart

2009-12-29T18:32:00.002-06:00

Today when my nephew Sam woke up from his nap, he came and sat on my lap and settled in for a cuddle by laying his head on my shoulder.

Later, he ran across the kitchen and right into my arms for a big hug.

It doesn't take much to make my day!

Sammy and Nana both had a Very Merry Christmas!

2009-12-27T09:24:00.002-06:00

Actually, we all did, but this photo was just too cute not to post it!

We had a wonderful Christmas! My family was all together, and I felt such a great sense of contentment in our togetherness. Sam is a total joy, and having a 20 month old to celebrate Christmas with made it all the merrier!

Love to you all as you celebrate the rest of the Christmas holidays with your loved ones!

2009-12-23T00:14:00.003-06:00

Brian wrote ...

2009-12-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

...a beautiful post on our adoption blog!

Go read it, now! :)

'Tis the Season for Cookies and Icing, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

2009-12-21T10:35:00.002-06:00

For a fun and easy recipe that results in chewy gingerbread cookies, click here!

Mary and Joseph

2009-12-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

Mary. A young virgin living in a small town. Engaged to Joseph, a Jewish carpenter.

Mary was just going about her day. Perhaps doing mundane chores. Perhaps dreaming about her wedding day. Maybe even trying to sneak a peek of her future husband as she walked past his carpentry workshop. That day, that most ordinary of days, was about to become the most extraordinary she’d ever lived.

A visit from an angel. An angel! A messenger of God Himself with a very special message for Mary. A message that would not only change her life forever, but one that would change the world.

The message? That Mary would conceive a son by the power of the Holy Spirit. She would give birth to the Son of God. Humbly, Mary accepted the angel’s declaration. “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”

I wonder if Mary went home and contemplated if the prophecy in Isaiah she had heard all through her growing up years was about to be fulfilled.

The prophecy? “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders.”

Could this long-awaited prophesied child possibly be the same child growing in her womb?

Joseph. A young man living in the same small town as his fiancée, Mary.

Joseph was just going about his day. Perhaps doing mundane chores. Perhaps dreaming about his bride. Maybe even trying to sneak a peek of her as she walked down the street of his carpentry workshop.

That day, that most ordinary of days was about to take a turn for the worse. Mary told him that she was pregnant, and he knew he wasn’t the father. She insisted that she hadn’t been unfaithful—that the child inside her was a miracle created by God Himself. As much as Joseph wanted to believe her, he just couldn’t, and they parted ways, both with tears in their eyes. As Joseph lay down to sleep that night, he thought to himself, “I’ll divorce her quietly, so she won’t be disgraced.” And then?

A visit in a dream from an angel. An angel! A messenger of God Himself with a very special message for Joseph. A message that would not only change his life forever, but one that would change the world. The message? That Joseph should not be afraid to take Mary home as his wife, because the baby inside of her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you, Joseph, are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.

I wonder if Joseph’s first thought when he woke up was if the prophecy in Isaiah he had heard all through his growing up years was about to be fulfilled. The prophecy? “The Lord himself will give you a sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means 'God is with us').”

Could his beloved Mary be the pregnant virgin of the prophecy? Could the promised “Immanuel”, the promised “God with us” be the very baby to be born to his dear Mary?

Messina Hof: A Texas Vineyard and Winery

2009-12-16T19:12:00.003-06:00

Who knew that in Bryan, TX there was a thriving winery? That's right, y'all--a little bit of Napa right here in the Lone Star State!

The parents of a good friend arranged a private wine tasting and tour for a group of us their friends. It was fun to see the vineyard, which still managed to be beautiful in its fruitless state.

The tasting was fun, mostly because it was served with some delicious cheeses. You may remember that as much as I want to appreciate and (dare I say it?) like wine, I just always seem to well, not like it. I always hope that a wine tasting will change my mind, or at the very least, introduce me to a wine that I'll fall in love with.

In truth, the list of wines I like is very short:

Lambrusco (My Spanish friends turned me onto this bubbly blush!)

White Zinfandel (My mother tells me that this shouldn't even be considered wine.)

Riesling (A nice, sweet white.)

Not a red wine in the bunch, but at least, if I'm out at a nice restaurant and I'm in the mood to have a glass of wine, I know of three I can order that I'll like. That is, if I don't just go with a Diet Coke. :)

If you ask him what Santa says, he replies, "Oh, Oh, Oh!"

2009-12-10T08:41:00.004-06:00

Checking out the manger scene. Jill asked him, "Where is Jesus?", and he would point to the manger. So sweet.

Precious Baby Girl

2009-12-08T23:00:00.004-06:00

One of my good friends is adopting this sweet baby girl. It was so fun to meet her today, to hold all eight pounds of her, and of course, to take her pictures. I think she's a beautiful model!

Click here to see my photography website.

Lovely Thanksgiving

2009-12-06T22:51:00.002-06:00

We had a great Thanksgiving in Virginia. We got to spend a week with Brian's mom and family. It was chilly and fall-ish outside, and we spent part of an afternoon hiking around this campground.

I have a great mother-in-law, so visits to Virginia are always great because she's such wonderful company. On top of that, I'm so taken with the natural beauty (4 seasons!) and the architecture (so Rockwellian!) of the east coast. Add it all together, and it's the perfect place to spend Thanksgiving!

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

2009-12-04T23:19:00.006-06:00

What an amazing day we had today! It snowed here! It broke a record today for being the earliest snow Houston has had on record. Cool, huh?! This was the view out my front door when it really started coming down:

Growing up in Texas where snow is as rare as tumbleweeds are in New York City, I just can't get enough of snow. My inner child just lights up, and I was gleefully jumping around the house. Then I pretty much just stared out the window, because I knew it wouldn't last forever. After a couple of hours, our lawn was covered in snow. Here's the backyard. I love the irony of palm trees and snow!

Some of our friends came over this evening with their kids. It was so much fun. We had a fire going in the fire place, our Christmas tree lights were on, music was playing, and our friends made Mayan hot chocolate. It was so fun and felt so Christmas-y!

It's going down into the 20s tonight. Brrrr! But so much fun!