Shake Your Money-Maker

Do you ever just want to break out of the confines of decorum and say and do just what you think and feel? I do (feel that way)…a lot. But I don’t (actually do it)…very often…because if I did, I would lose my job, alienate my neighbors and probably get arrested.

One day, when I was living in Houston, I was REALLY STRESSED OUT!!! It was one of those days where everything was already going wrong. I was working a job as a costume assistant on a show that was playing at the Astro Arena. I drove down and arrived at the entrance of the arena only to be told by the attendant working at the gates that I cannot drive through to the parking area without a permit. Already up to my eyeballs in stress, I tell him that I was never given one, but that I WORK THERE!!! We can’t let anyone in without a pass. Didn’t I just tell him that I WORK THERE?!! Sorry, ma’am you’re going to have to pay. Oh, yeah? Watch this! I put pedal to the medal and drove right through. Soon I was being followed by a cop with flashing lights. Note to self: Don’t EVER do this again. P.S. This is scary-cool! I park my car and get out. Thankfully, one of my co-workers ran and got the producer who assured the cop that I do indeed work there. Phew! No trip to the county jail for me (thank You, Lord, for saving me from my own stupid stupidity!).

That’s just one example of what can happen when you don't keep your impulses in check. Police come out with lights flashing and sirens on telling you to hold it together, woman, or we’re takin’ you downtown!

Still, it’s fun to ponder what I might do today if I threw the rules of polite living out the window and let my inner-self come out to play. I would most certainly have already turned up the volume on the CD playing on my computer to levels that would distract my coworkers, and got up on my desk to shake, shake, shake my booty to the awesome music of the Legally Blonde soundtrack. (Elle Woods is one of my heroes, but that’s a story for another day). Then I would put in one of my musical theatre soundtracks and have a karaoke moment in the style of Ethel Merman. That’s right…mama likes to sing loud…real loud! I might write my eInterest an e-mail and ask him if he wants to skip all this polite get-to-know-you stuff and just smooch me already. And finally, I would go to acting class, where any and all of the above impulses are not only acceptable but encouraged.

Ahhhh…acting class. My three hours a week where I am invited to just be me. The most authentic, full me that I can bring to the table is exactly what is expected. The three hours of my week where sitting on impulses is grounds for criticism, and squelching emotional life is just plain WRONG! Thank You God for acting class! Maybe the reason we love the movies and theatre so much is because we are drawn to people (characters) that are living raw, authentic lives. Lives that we can relate to. Lives that we remember we might be living if it weren’t for life getting in the way!

Alas, I am not in acting class right now. I am at work. So for now, I’ll have to save the booty-shaking and the Broadway moments for my brief trips to the ladies room, where the tile walls get to see my daily Tony award-winning performances. Great acoustics in that bathroom. I’d like to thank the Academy….