In a fifth season episode called "Homecoming", Ally decides to have a DNA test done to confirm that she is indeed Maddie's birthm0ther, because she is having nightmares that some other couple would surface one day claiming to be Maddie's actual b1rthparents, and that she would lose her forever.
After agonizing over whether she should even be having the test done, the results arrive and we see her collapse on the floor in a puddle of tears upon reading the results. When Maddie finds Ally in tears, she asks why she is crying. Ally responds, "Because I'm your mother", and the two give each other big hugs.
I found myself crying giant tears watching the episode for a couple of reasons:
1.) I remember the day a judge in Ethiopia ruled in favor of our adoption of Jeremy and Zachary, and hearing her say the words, "They are yours." After 18 months of working through the adoption process, seeing photos of our boys and traveling across the world to legally adopt them, hearing those words brought tears of relief and joy to my eyes. They were ours and it was final! I remember thanking the judge through my tears, and she said, "It is my honor." One of the most amazing moments of my life!
2.) I would love to have a daughter. There was something so special about Ally's bond with Maddie, and I would love to be the mother of a girl one day. Maybe it's because I grew up in a family with just one sister and a wonderful mother. I can't really explain it. But I'd love to share a mother/daughter bond with a little girl one day, God willing.
There was a moment when Ally received the envelope in the mail, and I wasn't sure if she would open it or not. She was struggling with her motives. For her, it wasn't that the biological relationship was so important as it was that no one could ever take her daughter away from her. The DNA test results gave her that peace. For me (obviously) having a genetic relationship with my kids isn't what makes us mother and sons. That isn't why this episode spoke to me. It spoke to me because I know the relief and joy of hearing and knowing that Jeremy and Zachary were mine, and knowing finally that I was their mother.
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Funny...I'm sure you know that Cherry had her baby boy last week. I have two other friends who each had two boys, and both REALLY wanted a girl. They love their sons desperately, but they wanted a girl, too. So I had a dream the other night, perhaps spurred by Cherry's baby boy, that my friend Rosemary was pregnant, and she made me be pregnant, too (I'm 46!), so that if she had another boy, and I had a girl, we could trade. Funny.
I did love a lot of Ally McBeal. It's fun to read it through your eyes, all of these many years later.
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