Getting Comfortable with Peace

There is a little chapel on the grounds of the retreat center where four services are held each day:

Matins (the morning service to greet God in the new day), Mass (a service at noontime where they “celebrate the Eucarist”, aka "The Lord’s Supper" or "Communion"), Vespers (a service just before dinner to meet with God at evening), and Compline (a service to close the day with Him).

When I made arrangements to come on this retreat, I didn’t think I would attend many (if any) of these chapel services. They are optional for those here on retreat, and frankly, I thought I might find them boring. Interestingly, though, I have attended all of them, so far! They are not boring at all, but quite meaningful.

This surprised me because I was raised in the Episcopal church until I was 16 years old, and I generally found the order of the Episcopal church service very boring and ritualistic. It seemed that in the liturgy of the service, all of the meaning leaked out. I found it devoid of true passion for God, and an unnatural way to worship Him.

However, this retreat has changed my view. The services are only a half hour or less, so they don’t seem overly long to me. The responsive readings of the Psalms and of the liturgy now appeal to the actress in me. I no longer see them as just words on a page, but as words of life to speak to one another, ripe with meaning and even love.

Part of the Mass included “The Prayers of the People”, which is a chance to pray for different people in the world and in your life—from government leaders to your own family members. They came to the part when you can offer prayers for the sick. During this part of the prayer, you can say out loud the names of people who are ill and need healing. “My Dad,” I said out loud, tears filling my eyes.

Soon the prayer was ended with an “Amen,” and the priest said, “The peace of the Lord be always with you,” to which we all responded, “And also with you.” Then came the part that I often dreaded growing up. That uncomfortable part where you have to turn to the strangers around you and “exchange the peace”, which means shaking their hands and saying “Peace be with you.” Today, though, I just felt so full of gratitude for having a place to pray for my Dad. A place to lay down my burdens. A place to remember the Lord Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross by taking Communion. I turned to those around me and realized that I only needed to give that uncomfortable feeling a small nudge to get out of the way. Then we hugged each other with heartfelt gratitude for each other’s sheer presence, and mostly for the presence of God. Our very own Prince of Peace.