Moved by Music

Do you remember when Grey's Anatomy did their musical episode about a year ago? I loved it. And the high point of the show was the featured vocals of Sara Ramirez who plays Callie Torres. She has performed on Broadway in Spamalot, and WOW did she ROCK it on this episode of Grey's. 


In this episode, Callie is on the brink of death after being in a terrible car accident. She was pregnant at the time, and her baby had to be delivered via emergency c-section, and the baby is also in critical condition. In this song, Callie's spirit is willing her body to live. I've seen this episode three times now, and I cry like a baby every time she sings this song. It's just so good.



It's not often that I am so moved by music, so I've been pondering why this song so speaks to me. I especially love these lyrics:

All of these lines across my face,
Tell you the story of who I am.
So many stories of where I've been,
And how I got to where I am.
But these stories don't mean anything,
If you've got no one to tell them to.
It's true. I was made for you.


The lyrics made me think about my husband so much, and what a blessing it is to have someone who walks through life with me, and who (God willing) will be with me for the great majority of my journey on earth. We spend a lot of time telling our life stories to one another, and of course we are also writing part of our story together. As I talked about it with Brian, he told me about a fabulous quote spoken by Susan Sarandon in the movie Dance with Me:

We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.

I'm so thankful to have a wonderful husband bearing witness to my life, as well as my family members, and some dear friends. We all need witnesses, because all of us matter.

Return to Friendship

This morning, I attended a moms' group at my church, and it was really fun! About 80 mothers of young children were there. After the big group time, we broke into smaller groups of about 10, and they asked us why we decided to join. I said my biggest reason was for friendships. I still feel new to my community, and making friends is so much harder when you're home with little ones most of the time. Several of the other moms said the same thing and agreed that motherhood can be isolating at times.

I'm just really excited about what the upcoming year will hold in terms of getting to know some of these women better. I actually already know a few of the women in my small group, and three of us had lunch together this afternoon, which was really nice!

I'm encouraged!

Return: NASA--A Field Trip through the last 40 years

Rebeca and I went to Space Center Houston yesterday. During the various tours we did, we heard various presidential speeches that were made during the past 40 years of the space program. We also saw a short film that highlighted each of the space shuttle flights. It was full of such exuberance until that fateful day in the 1980s when the Challenger shuttle met its demise.

I remember exactly where I was when I heard about the sad news: in the cafeteria lunch line at my school. When I got home, I told my mom about how I heard the news that day, and she said that my generation will always talk about "where we were" with the Challenger the way her generation did with the Kennedy assassination. To some extent she was right, but sadly I think the bigger tragedy my generation will always remember is where they were on September 11, 2001 when they realized our nation was under attack.

As a mother of young children, I found myself thinking to the future and wondering what amazing accomplishments in space travel will happen during my children's lifetimes.  It also made me wonder what catastrophic event might be the "where were you when..." story for their generation. For better or for worse, it is almost certain that we will experience both the wonderful and the difficult, the amazing and the tragic during our lifetimes, both as individuals and as a collective human family. Both the good and the bad leave their mark, have the power to shape and change us.

September: A Month to "Return"

My writing prompt for the month of September is: Return. Join me this month as I turn the hands of time back to the distant and not-so-distant past and remember....

Today's post is going to be called 37 years of memories, and I'm going to try to recall a highlight from each of my 37 years. These will either be memories that I recall directly or from photos or from stories recounted to me by my family. If you don't have the patience to read all of it, go to 1984, because it's a cool story.

1974 - the year of my birth

1975 - we moved to San Antonio where I would live for the next 12 years

1976 - the year my sister was born

1977 - my earliest memory is of posing for a picture with my sister, and then seeing the picture after it was developed and remembering posing.

1978 - attending St. Thomas preschool and painting "Texas Longhorns" - my first artwork that was intentionally done--not just child's "scribble".

1979 - I remember feeling shocked that my mother signed me up for soccer instead of ballet, like most other girls, and then I was shocked that I was really good at soccer!

1980 - My first grade teacher was Mrs. Bibb, and I really liked her.

1981 - I remember my second grade teachers name, but I won't write it here because of what I'm about to say about her: I really didn't like her.

1982 - My third grade teacher was Mrs. May. She had a baby near the end of the year, and we had a substitute teacher for the rest of the year, and I really liked the sub.

1983 - My fourth grade teacher was Mrs. Denning. She loved sarcasm, and she used it with fourth graders, which I found somewhat inappropriate, but also kind of cool.

1984 - My fifth grade teacher was Mrs. Hiester. I remember being placed in the lowest level reading class that year and being B.O.R.E.D. because it was not challenging enough. At my mother's prompting (THANK YOU, MOM!), I asked for a meeting with my reading teacher and the teacher of the reading class I wanted to be in, and I made my case for being promoted to the next level up. They told me that they didn't think I should be moved up to the next level, and then they at the end of the meeting they asked me if I was satisfied with our meeting. I said "no". The next day, my Mom wrote a note and requested that they move me up to the next level, which they did, and I made really good grades in the higher level class. It was a great lesson in believing in myself, and a great lesson to my future self to listen to my children! I'm so glad my Mom listened to me and was on my team! I love you, Mom! (Anecdotally, by the end of the year, Mrs. Hiester must have believed in my, too, because after the reading class deal got resolved, she told my mom that she thought I would one day be President!)

1985 - Sixth grade. At the prompting of a school administrator, I decided to run for student council, and I was elected! It was such a good experience that helped me to develop leadership skills.

1986 - Seventh grade. Probably my worst year of school ever, for reasons I can only attribute to the fact that it was jr. high school, and really...did any of us just LOVE junior high?

1987 - We moved from San Antonio to the Houston area. I had no idea at the time that Houston would be the city I'd end up considering my "hometown".

1988 - My freshman year of high school, I joined the tennis team. There were a group of guys who started off being really nice, but then they singled me out to be the girl on the team that they were mean to. It just started all of a sudden one day, and I never really know why. Jerks. Also? My tennis coach was a jerk.

1989 - I did a theatre performance at school, and I really enjoyed it!

1990 - We had an exchange student live with us from the Canary Islands. (Hi, Monica!) I still call her my Spanish sister!

1991 - I got my drivers' license, and passed on the first try. I remember looking at my score sheet and adding up my score and realizing that the officer passed me even though my score wasn't passing.

1992 - The year my parents separated. I remember the day I came home from school and my Dad had moved out. He didn't even tell us he'd be moving out that day. I also remember feeling relieved that he had moved out. All of that tension that was in our house was finally gone. I graduated from high school a month later.

1993 - My freshman year in college. I was so petrified that I'd gain the proverbial freshman 15, that I made sure to rollerblade a lot, and I actually ended up losing weight! HA!

1994 - I declared my major as Theatre Arts!

1995 - I was cast in a workshop scene of Two Gentlemen of Verona. It was my first experience with Shakespeare, and I LOVED it!

1996 - I graduated from college, waited tables for the summer, and then I moved to New York City to start acting classes!

1997 - I had an amazing experience at The Neighborhood Playhouse School of Theatre.

1998 - I had my first real boyfriend and my first devastating heartbreak when we broke up.

1999 - I booked my first professional acting job! "How the West was Won" at the Tuacahn Center for the Arts in St. George, Utah! What an awesome 9 weeks!

2000 - I interned with a wonderful group of artists at the A.D. Players in Houston, TX.

2001 - My Mom married John!

2002 - I moved to Spain and found myself in a job, country, culture, and a group of friends that I so enjoyed!

2003 - John passed away.

2004 - I worked as a peer counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. Work I really enjoyed.

2005 - I moved to Los Angeles, had an awful roommate, moved out five months later and into my own place!

2006 - I got on eHarmony and met Brian!

2007 - Brian asked me to marry him on New Year's Day, and we married six months later!

2008 - My father passed away at 68 years old.

2009 - Brian and I moved to Houston and started the adoption process.

2010 - We adopted our two beautiful boys from Ethiopia!

2011 - August 30 marked one year together as a family of four. :)

Looking back, I'm grateful for the life I've been given! It hasn't been without it's share of hard times, but it has definitely been full of joy and so richly blessed! Thank you, God, for 37 wonderful years!

The Power of a Name - Crazy Sexy Diet, Day 6

One of the side effects the author of Crazy Sexy Diet wrote that I might experience while doing the 21 Day Cleanse is feeling emotional. That has certainly been the case today. I fought back tears a couple of times before lunchtime.

This morning, I was teary thinking about my late step-dad, John. I really was missing him. He's the person who gave me the nickname Starshine, which is my favorite nickname ever.

I believe very strongly in the power of naming your child well. When we were considering names for the boys, we took into consideration both if we liked the sound of the name, as well as if we liked the meaning of the name. Somehow, it seems that the names we are given have the power to impact us, for better or for worse--not only our literal names, but also the names people call us (good and bad), and nicknames!

This morning, I was just feeling so touched by the meaning of my beloved nickname. John was such an encourager to me when it came to following my acting dreams. I'm sure that he chose the name Starshine for me, because it conjured up images of a big-time actress. He believed in the beauty of my dreams and supported me in my quest to go after them, and that has always meant so much to me. This morning, though, as I was thinking about John, I wondered what he might think about my life being on this side of my Hollywood journey. I left Hollywood never having won a big break, and certainly not having found stardom. (Although I'll be forever grateful for the myriad gifts God gave me while I was there: a husband!, an incredible acting teacher, a technique for acting on-camera, a renewed love for theatre acting, and some wonderful friends to name only a few.)

Without a doubt, John would still be proud of me. Without a doubt, I would still be his Starshine. And this morning, as I stood in this private moment, fighting back the tears, I realized that he didn't name me Starshine because he believed I would one day be a big star. He named me Starshine because he saw the light within my spirit, and he believed that I already was one.

That is the sweetest gift a father could give his daughter. My heart is filled with gratitude, and the floodgates have now let loose. Perhaps this diet isn't just cleansing my body, but also my soul.

I love Santa and other musings...

Today, I loaded the boys up in the car and drove to a local commercial retail center in town so I could rev up with some Starbucks and then take the boys for a walk in the stroller. It was a gorgeous morning, sunny and cool--perfect for a stroll. I confess that I love this time of year, when the store windows are transformed into mini holiday wonderlands. Hopeful that I'd get to see some good holiday window dressings, I strolled the boys by Kirkland's Home, and I was not disappointed. In one of their windows, there were several gorgeous framed paintings of Saint Nick--one was a regal Santa dressed in a majestic golden cloak, another depicted him with a couple of his reindeer, but the one I loved best was a rendering of Santa holding his finger up to his lips, as if to say, "Shhh! It's our little secret." I'm not sure why I loved it so much, but a wave of nostalgia washed over me, and I started to sing Christmas carols to myself.

Artwork found on Kirkland's Website

As I moseyed on, I couldn't help but think about a most strange (to me) phenomenon the exists in the Christian sub-culture: there are some who think it is wrong to incorporate Santa into one's family's Christmas celebration. Some say that it is lying to your children. Others say that it takes the focus off of Jesus, who is, after all, the Reason for the Season. And you know? I respect their decision to celebrate Christmas sans Santa, even though I don't share their view.

My family? Santa comes to our house every year!

I grew up in a family who celebrated Christmas with presents, a fresh cut tree, and yes, Santa Claus. Was I sad when I grew up and found out? Absolutely. Do I wish my parents hadn't "lied" to me? Absolutely NOT! I never felt lied to, and it made my childhood sparkle with magic. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I think the reason the painting of the Santa saying "Shhh!" so resonated with me is because it felt like he was saying, "We're totally getting away with something here...and it's good!" That's right! Me and Saint Nicholas?... We both believe in Jesus, and we both love to celebrate His birth in grand style!

I'm so excited to share the upcoming Christmas season with my boys!

Simply Breathtaking Talent!

In case you missed the Tony Awards on Sunday, Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison from GLEE performed with such panache and brilliance and apparent ease, it would simply be a crime for me not to share it here on my blog.

Lea Michele (who is very nearly Barbra Streisand II) performs one of my favorite Streisand songs, "Don't Rain on my Parade". Her performance brought me to tears and makes me thank God for allowing so much beauty in the world. Talent like hers is truly inspiring. Enjoy:

A Dream Realized

This weekend, Houston (along with several other U.S. cities) was part of the 48-Hour Film Project! Right here in Houston, sixty production teams had 48-Hours to write, shoot, edit, and turn in a completed short film. I was thrilled to be part of the acting ensemble for one of the teams!

Our production team, Moon Unit 9 Pictures, was headed by Michael Aschner. We had an amazing crew and a wonderful group of actors.

Every film made had to include the following elements:

Character: Sherman or Sharon Brown, recently unemployed

Prop: a book

Line of Dialogue: "There's a $2 service charge."

It was so cool to read our script for the first time and see how Michael wove those elements into the film.

Given the 48-Hour timeframe, the shooting was focused and intense! It was one of those days when it felt like only fifteen minutes had passed, and then I would realize it had actually been two hours! The awesome thing, though, is that when you are passionate about something, all of that focus and intensity feels like pure joy!

At one point, in a quiet moment when I was going from one shoot location to another, I had an awareness that I was living my dreams--that God, in His goodness, had realized one of my dreams! How sweet it is to receive a good and perfect gift from our Father!

He's doing that a lot lately! Thank You, GOD!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Glory and Beauty

This morning, I was reading the part of the Book of Exodus in which God is giving Moses instructions on how to make the priestly garments to be worn by Aaron and his sons when they enter the Tent of Meeting and the Holy Place to offer sacrifices before God. It struck me that in two different places, God's instructions are to "Make sacred vestments for your brother Aaron to symbolize glory and beauty", and later, "Make tunics, sashes, and hats for Aaron's sons to express glory and beauty". (Italics added for emphasis.)

God even tells Moses to "Consult with the skilled craftsmen, those whom I have gifted in this work, and arrange for them to make Aaron's vestments...."

In the midst of what feels like rather dry reading, I find it somehow comforting to see that the things that make my heart race a little faster--glory and beauty--are also on the heart of God. In fact, I think they reflect His very character. It's not just that He appreciates glory and beauty, it's that glory and beauty are part of who God is!

I love that God directs Moses to go consult with the skilled craftsmen, and that He even calls those craftsmen "those whom I have gifted in this work". As an artist, it is very affirming to see that God values artists and artistry and that He is explicit in letting Moses know that He has gifted them in this work.

Often in my adult life, I have felt like the very talents with which God has gifted me are the very hardest skills with which to earn a living. I have felt like a dreamer most of the time and like a slacker during a few low points, but during those golden moments when I am working as an actress--when I am doing exactly what God has created me to do--time seems to stand still, because in those precious moments, I am able to reflect the beauty and the glory of God, simply by being who He made me to be and by doing what He made me to do. Those brief moments in the grand scheme of life shine like stars in the night sky of my memories, and I hope they will bring glory to my great God for all eternity!

A Spiritual Heritage

Today, I attended church in my hometown. The church was celebrating its 30th anniversary, so there was special music and a slideshow as families that had been in the church for years talked about its history and what God has done over the past three decades.

My mom was singing in the choir today, along with several other women who are mothers of my friends. Tears of joy and gratitude filled my eyes as I watched them sing, reading their sheet music through their bifocals. These women, who were once the mothers of us high school-aged kids, are now all grandmothers. And we, their children, are the next generation of mothers and fathers to young children.

It was really special to pause and notice the spiritual legacy that is being passed down from generation to generation, and I'm very thankful to be a link in that chain.

Thirty-Five!

I turned 35 last week!  I had a wonderful birthday, too.  On my actual birthday day, my mom came over and we spent the day together. She took me out for lunch at an Indian restaurant, and she told me the story of the day I was born. My favorite part is always hearing her tell me that my Dad was so excited he ran up and down the hall at the hospital telling everyone that he had a baby girl!  I love that!

We also talked about what a blessing it is to have a good mother-daughter relationship. I'm so thankful for that and for her.  I love you, Mom!

On Saturday evening, Brian cooked a delicious lasagna dinner for my family and a few friends. I felt very loved and very celebrated!  When Sam came over to my house for the party he was wearing a t-shirt my sister made that said, "I love Tia".  How's that for an awesome nephew!

After dinner, we went outside for a little while to play bocce ball. It was a lot of fun--even Sam thought so!

Finally, we had Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake, and I blew out all my candles!  I feel very blessed with my first 35 years, and I hope this year will be a good one, too--I hope it is the year I'll become a mother.  Every day is a gift from God, and I'm thankful for the gift of life!

Focused Passion

I can't seem to escape thinking about mortality lately.

Between my own father's passing a year ago, the slew of celebrity deaths that have happened over the past two weeks, and news Brian received last night that an old work acquaintance passed away, it's practically impossible to escape thoughts of death and life.

Life is just so short--life here on earth, that is.  I believe in Heaven and that I will live there eternally after I die.

With all that in mind, my finite brain has some questions churning around in it:

~If life on earth is a gift that endures for a finite amount of time, how should I live it?

~If life on earth is preparation for eternity, how should I live it?

~If life on earth is a gift from God, how does He want me to live it?

In other words, I don't believe this life is all there is.  However, I do believe this life has great purpose that impacts both the here and now, as well as eternity. The big question I'm left with is:  With all this in mind, how shall I live?

One of the answers I keep coming back to is:  with passion!

I realize these are huge questions that can't be summed up articulately in a short blog post.  I can say, though, that if life here on earth has a divine purpose, I want to embrace it and to live fully!

I want to take seriously the things that matter to God. I want to enjoy this earthly life to the full because it is a great gift!  Today is God's gift to me--an opportunity to get to know Him better, to love Him with my life, to love others, to appreciate the beauty in His Creation, to give thanks for my home, for my daily bread, for my dear family and friends. 

Amazingly, I think I take so much of it all for granted.  Days slip away lived passionlessly.  

To live a life of focused passion and love for God and others--I think that is my purpose.

Note:  My husband, Brian, wrote a beautiful post today reflecting on this theme.

Happy Easter!

I love Easter Sunday!  It is a beautiful reminder that the Light is victorious over darkness, that Jesus is alive, and His love for me is so expansive that He took the punishment for my sins just so that I could know God and live my life with Him and in Him...forever and ever!

Thank You, Jesus, for the sacrifice You made for me.

Amen!

TexaCaliEspañYorker

I once heard former New York mayor say (and this is paraphrased): You move to New York, and after a while you start talking a little faster and walking a little faster, and lo and behold, you're a New Yorker!

My roots are in Texas. That is where I grew up. Texas taught me about friendliness, smiling, climbing trees, and walking and dancing in boots.

My early adulthood was spent in New York. Not only did New York teach me to walk and talk a little bit faster, but it pushed me to my limits, and in many ways, it showed me what I am made of.

In my late 20s, I lived for a year in Spain. Spain taught me how to be a straight-shooter. It also taught me that I was guapa and the virtue of being tranquila.

During my final weeks in California, I pondered what about my 3.5 years there made me a little bit more Californian. California made me a better (if not more aggressive) driver, a bit more liberal, a wife (!), and a person who is surprised when the sun isn't shining and it's not 70 degrees outside.

There is so much to appreciate about life in California. For me, it is the place I went to pursue one dream (acting) and found another (marriage). It has the most glorious weather, and I completely understand why so many people endure the awful traffic just to live in that oh-so-perfect climate. The gorgeous aesthetic of nature in So Cal is reflected in its people, who take pride in looking stylish--both men and women. The soothing rhythm of the ocean waves make for a laid-back lifestyle--one where people understand good and bad "vibes", and where the word "dude" has as many nuances as "How you doin'?" has to a New Yorker.

At the end of the day, though, I moved to LA because I didn't want to be 80 years old sitting in my rocker on the porch, saying to myself, "Why didn't you just try?".

While I didn't land on the sitcom of my dreams, I did get to do some fulfilling acting work. 

I went to Los Angeles. I learned how to act for the camera. I landed a few acting jobs (some paying and some not).  Funny enough, my two favorite jobs there were actually theatre jobs, not on-camera jobs--not a bad thing to learn about myself.  All that to say...I have no regrets. I'll have a satisfying answer to give my 80 year old self, who I have a sneaking suspicion won't be beating herself up at all!

When I was young, I remember hearing a story about a young girl who loved her plastic pop beads. She popped them together everyday and wore them as a necklace.  One day, her father noticed that she was growing up and had gotten a little too old for her plastic pop bead necklace.  He sat her down and told her so. She threw a fit, because she loved her pop beads so. Eventually, though, she let go of them, and her father gave her a new string of pearls, fitting for the young lady she had become.

I can't help but wonder if LA was my pop beads and maybe, just maybe, this new chapter in Texas is my pearls.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Bethlehem Ponderings

On Sunday night, I attended a gathering at my church designed to help us pause during the busyness of the holiday season and reflect a bit on the Reason we are all running around celebrating in the first place. Each of us received a handout with some questions to ponder:

~As you ponder the scene of Jesus' birth, what sticks out to you? Ask God why this is important for you.

~Think about how Jesus' birth in a place like a stable in Bethlehem is a symbol of humility. Jesus' humble beginning started in a stable.

~Where am I being called to be humble?

Here were some of my thoughts:

As I ponder the scene of Jesus' birth, the thing that sticks out to me is the phrase "No room at the inn". Jesus, the King and Savior, couldn't even be born at the inn. I imagine how frustrating and scary it must have been for Mary and Joseph. Did they feel disowned by God in their hour of need?

Even as God was delivering His Son into the world to redeem it, Mary and Joseph could have felt like God had abandoned them, wondering where He was in the midst of their obedience. ("God, in obedience to You, I agreed to carry this child," perhaps Mary was thinking. "Now is the time for me to give birth, and You won't even provide me with a clean place to have this baby? Really? You're going to make me do this in a stinky, dirty stable?") Yet, their Savior was right there with them, entering the world in the most humble of ways to save the people from their sins. On the dusty dirty floor of this stable was being birthed "good news of great joy that will be for all the people"!

Thank You, God, that you are accomplishing some of Your most redeeming work when You seem the farthest away. Thank You that even though at times it feels like You have abandoned us, You are right there, closer than the air we breathe.

My Hiding Place

"I'm 34 years old," I thought. "Why in the world am I high school again?"

But there I was, waltzing into science class, late for some reason. No one seemed to be bothered by my tardiness. I took my seat, and was relieved that the teacher seemed to be understanding. There was a kindness in his eyes, and as he talked and interacted with the students, I was definitely drawn to him. A little crush, maybe? Yea, it was a crush.

I loved how he talked to the loner kid about what was going on in his life. He just asked him in a real straightforward way if he's into alcohol. The kid really opened up to him, like maybe he was the first person to see right into his soul and ask the question that even his parents were too busy to notice needed asking. This teacher had a real way with young people.

I tried not to let my feelings for him show, but something about him seemed like such a safe person. I just wanted to know him more. He was married, and so was I, so I really wasn't worried about anything inappropriate happening. Still, there was just something so humble, yet so magical about him. I was drawn to him.

He got my attention and motioned toward the door. There in the doorway was a flower delivery man, with a bouquet of flowers for me! Oh, I bet the other kids would think I was cool getting flowers sent to me at school. The flowers were from my husband. I was relieved that they arrived, because it let my teacher know that this 34 year old high schooler was married and off the market, but mostly it was good for keeping my crush in check.

Attached to the flowers, though, was a note. "Open it," the teacher said. So I did. It was from my grandmother, who wasn't always the nicest person. In fact, she could be downright mean. Not a safe person at all. Somehow, though, I felt safe reading the letter out loud with the class listening, and in the presence of my teacher. He was a safe and reassuring presence, and I just liked being with him. School had ended 45 minutes ago, but so many of us students were just hanging out with him in the classroom. And best of all, he wasn't in any hurry to get us out of there. He enjoyed being with us too.

...And then I woke up. "What a dream!", I thought. And through the haze of waking, the still, small voice of God said, "That teacher is like Me."

An Answered Prayer

As Hubs was going through the interview process last month for the job in Texas, one of our major concerns was that the salary simply would not be enough for us to live on, especially considering that we are hoping to add children to our family in not too long. Still, we felt like God was opening a door for us, and we decided to stay in the process.

The church flew us to Texas and we both really liked the church. That in itself says a lot. One of my issues with the evangelical church in general is that many of them interpret the scriptures to mean that women are not to be permitted to have certain key leadership positions in the church. And because I'm a special brand of Christian (the feminist variety), that interpretation of scripture does not sit well with me. So the fact that this church believes that women can serve in any capacity in the church puts a big smile on my face. I really want to raise my kids in a church environment where they are not just hearing, but also seeing women in leadership. Besides that, the pastor is a wonderful teacher, and the music/worship in the church was awesome!

Hubs' interview went well when we were in Texas, we really enjoyed the people we met, and we flew home thinking that it would be a wonderful church community to be a part of. Still, there was the issue of salary, and the church had made it clear to Hubs that they wouldn't be able to offer more. 

When we got back to California, we knew that we would hear one way or another about the job in about a week. During that week, we prayed two specific things:

1.) That God would "do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine".

2.) That the church would make Hubs an offer that we couldn't refuse.

Well, one week passed, and the phone rang. It was the senior pastor of the church. He told Hubs that everyone involved in the interview process really loved him. He said, "We want to offer you a job, but we want to offer you a different job than the one you applied for." During the week that we were waiting and praying, some circumstances changed and the person who would have been Hubs' boss decided to move into a different area of ministry, and they decided to offer Hubs that job instead! The best part is that it is a job that he is much better suited for than the one he originally applied for, and it comes with a higher salary--one that we feel good about for starting a family!

Needless to say, we were just blown away with God's awesome answer to our prayer. My jaw dropped in amazement and Hubs' hands were shaking when he heard the news. God had worked on our behalf, and we were just sitting there taking it all in. Seeing God work in this way really gave us the confidence we need to move forward with this huge change in our lives.

I decided to share this experience here on my blog for no other reason than that I love to see God work when you know it is Him. Such amazing and specific answers to prayer are so encouraging to me, and I want you to be encouraged, as well.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine...to him be the glory...throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Transition

You may or may not know that over the past ten months, Hubs has been looking for a new job. He has worked for the past 19 years for a wonderful college ministry, and about a year and a half ago, he graduated with a masters degree from seminary. His desire has been to find a new job in a church in some kind of a pastoral role.

Our preference has been to find something in the Los Angeles area because we both love it here, and for me, it is the professional market that I moved here to work in.  From the beginning of Hubs' search, we have prayed that God would direct us to the right job for him by opening and closing doors. Boy did He ever answer--He closed 16 doors here in the Southern California area!  :)  We knew that if God was faithful to close that many doors that He must have had something pretty special in mind for the door that He would eventually open for us. We decided to expand our search criteria to include New York and Houston, since those are good markets for acting, and my family is in Houston.

In early October, Hubs submitted his resume to a church in Houston that began to show serious interest in him. A month ago, they flew us both out to see the church, meet the people, and for Hubs to interview. To make a long (and very awesome) story short, we loved the church, and they offered Hubs the job! 

We are feeling a mixed bag of emotions here. While we are sad to leave LA, our friends and the life we have so enjoyed here; we are very excited about the future. Hubs is thrilled about his new job opportunity, and I can't wait to live close to my mom, sister & bro-in-law, and of course, little Sam! Hubs is starting his new job March 1.

Meanwhile, we still have some time to live it up here in So Cal, so I decided to really go for it, acting-wise and audition away until it's time to move. I wrote a post yesterday about a dream I had the night before. Many of you said you were bummed that it was just a dream. Well, I think the reason I had that dream is because I found out on Monday afternoon that I have been cast in a play at The Neighborhood Playhouse Palos Verdes!  It is called Our Leading Lady, and this will be the first major production of the show since it opened in New York. I will be playing the washed up ingenue, Clementine Smith, who never arrives places on time and enjoys her whisky a little too much.  Fun, huh? ;)

My play will run February 19 - March 8, so Hubs will move to Texas before me, and then I'll join him as soon as my play closes. As stressful as I'm sure that will be, I'm grateful for his supportiveness and I'm thrilled to be able to leave LA on such a splendid note!

I need to write another post about the amazing ways that God answered our prayers by opening this door for us in Texas, but for now, let me just say that we are so thankful for the opportunities He has opened up for us. To God be the glory!

feeling the breeze of life go by

the crevices in the skin on my knuckles

and the lines around my eyes

don't lie.

they're weathered

by the stormy times

and well, just time and life.

chapped by wind

chapped by pain

chapped by days gone by.

but wait, my soul--

do not despair!

my soul, you're not alone.

a desert wind blows without,

but a balmy breeze within--

the very breath of God

making all things new,

including you, my soul

each day.

Inspired by this poem, written by the brilliantly talented Thoti of El Poeta de las Colinas Solitarias.

Midnight Moment

As per usual, I'm up way past my bedtime. Ever since my play opened, my night owl hours have become even later. Hubs is in bed beside me snoring away, as I sit with my laptop propped in front of me and my pillows propped up behind me. 

I just got up to get something in the next room, and walking back to bed, I saw Hubs sleeping and the glowing apple on the back of my computer giving off a gentle light. The sight took me off guard a little. It was as if I stepped outside my life for a moment and then caught a quick glimpse of it. And I liked what I saw.

Life is a beautiful gift, and I feel very blessed with the one God has given me.