Friday, April 21, 2006

Inside Out

Being in a new relationship has had me thinking a lot lately about "baggage"--the icky things from the past that we can keep buried away most of the time. I've been pondering and praying about what to reveal and when. It's a most unpleasant topic for introspection, but a necessary one, I suppose.

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could see each other's baggage on the outside? We all carry this stuff around inwardly everyday, covered by squeeky-clean external verneers. Maybe that is the greatest gift of all. That the baggage is, at the very least, contained. But imagine if it weren't. I wonder if we would all have a lot more compassion to offer the hurting world around us.

Just a thought.


Autumn's Mom said...

Someday (maybe you already have and don't know it) you will find someone who loves you and your baggage. That my friend is a beautiful thing :)

Buttercup said...

I think it would be great if we all carried our baggage around for all to see b/c then two things would hopefully happen: (1) Your love would be more compassionate b/c he would undertand where you were coming from and why and what you needed; and (2) You (i.e. me) would be more trusting, understanding, and compassionate with your love because you would know where he was coming from and why, what he had learned from that experience, and hopefully where his heart really was regarding you.

You would both know if it was going to work or if it wasn't. I think it would bring more certainty and understanding.

Melissa said...

I wonder if it would make us more compassionate or more scared of others. I would hope the first. Maybe we should carry around lists and make people read it. Interesting post. Makes me think.

Cherry said...

Baggage? What Baggage?
Ok, so its this baggage that has me going to therapy. But this baggage is also what brought E and I together. That first "hanging out" night, we talked all night about our crappy dads.

I am a super open and honest person and my baggage isn't very deeply hidden. If a person asks, I tell. And even if they don't ask, I tell. This has scared possible suiters away a number of times. It still scares E. So even after 6 years with E, I am still learning when to share and when to keep it hidden.

Don Boscoe said...

You mean it's possible to Contain baggage?? I usually just blurt things out randomly...that could explain why 0.0% of my relationships actually work out...Interesting...keeping baggage on the inside. Let me know if you find a useful solution. Until then i'll just "Shut up...put the lid down...and don't run over bags in the middle of the road"

Anonymous said...

I don't know... it sounds good in theory, but I don't think we'd behave any differently. Now we pretend that baggage doesn't exist for us or other people until we're forced to face it. Do we not think that if we could see or know it all up front we wouldn't just shift gears to comparing baggage? We'd be forever justifying why our baggage isn't as bad as thiers and that's why things won't work out. We've got to find a way to discount baggage as being informative of a person's worth entirely.