Margin

One of the great (and difficult) things about living in a big city like Los Angeles is that you get pushed to the edge of yourself and find out what your limits are. I experienced this living in New York. When I would go back to Texas for a visit, people would occassionally comment that I seemed more confident and sure of myself. And in truth, I was. I found out (and continue to find out living here in LA) just exactly what I am made of and what I can handle.

For example, I took a sick day on Monday--partially because I had some tummy trouble, but mostly because my life was getting away from me, and I needed to catch up with it. I spent my day off doing (count 'em!) six loads of laundry, which included bath mats and sofa cushion covers; cleaning the kitchen and cleaning the bathroom. It has felt so good to come home to a clean place all this week.

This morning, Brennan Manning is speaking at my church. For years, I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this man! eSuitor is a huge fan of his writings, and several friends have read his most popular book The Ragamuffin Gospel and loved it.

I'm not at church this morning hearing this fabulous man speak.

One of the lessons I'm learning about myself is that I don't really operate very well without some "margin" in my life. Margin to breathe, to exercise, to write on my blog, to slow down a bit, to hear from the Lord. I desperately need all of these things. So I chose them this morning.

Often the best choice comes at the expense of something good. It feels good to have made the best choice for myself today.

Follow-up note written Sunday evening (11/19/06) at 9:51 pm:

Brennan Manning spoke at church today during the regular Sunday service, and as they say in Texas, he really "blessed my socks off". He spoke about the unfathomable love of God for all of us, which was very good to meditate on. The thing that touched me the most was the benediction. Brennan is getting old and looking a bit frail, but his voice still booms with passion. For the benediction, he gave the famous Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

I've heard and read this blessing many times, but actually receiving such a blessing spoken from the heart of such a humble and passionate man of God was truly moving. And when he made the sign of the cross with his right hand and said, "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit", I couldn't hold back the tears.

God is so good.