Monday, July 28, 2008

The Fiber One Dilemma

Bless Hubs' heart. 

We all remember when he broke the fart barrier, as a move of selfless chivalry. After months of dating, he had never heard me pass gas.

Let's just say that the proverbial honeymoon is over. Now that we're married, he has endured many conversations about the current state of my GI tummy can be rather unpredictable. 

One day, about a month ago, after hearing me say one too many times that I felt a little backed up, he came home with a box of Fiber One bars. *cue celestial music* These bars are every bit of ooey-gooey deliciousness that they look to be on the box. And the best part is that just one bar contains 35% of your recommended daily fiber allowance. And as for their effectiveness, let's just say--mission accomplished.

I love me some Fiber One bars!  Except. One. Thing. These bars may be able to clear a log jam, but they have three very serious side effects: GAS, GAS, AND MORE GAS. Within hours of eating just one Fiber One bar, I become a one-woman percussion section, and Hubs, quite frankly, is over it. And being the proactive grocery shopper that he is, he simply stopped buying them, in an act of self-preservation.

Our home soon returned to its former less gaseous glory, but Senorita Constipación moved right back in, too. In a move of utter desperation, I ran out for some Fiber One bars yesterday. Hubs is trying hard to love me through it, but has let me know that if the Fiber One bars are moving back in to the house, so is a bottle of Beano!


alexis said...

girl, you are hilarious. this made me laugh out loud.

J at said...

Oh lord, too funny!

Maybe try something less potent next time...have you tried prunes or raisin bran? Those both work for me. Regarding the prunes, I've tried a few brands, and some are quite yummy while others...not so much. But maybe raisin bran for breakfast and a prune or two as an afternoon snack would keep you regular. Of course, you know exercise and lots of water help too. But for some of us, myself included, even with the water and exercise, problems can occur. Good luck!

Jennifer Disney said...

Totally laughing out loud!

Autumn's Mom said...

Log Jam. You are cracking me up.

Dana Cheryl said...

Oh girl we are two sides of the same coin! I suffer w/ awful bouts of IBS but the meds really don't help.

I'm searching for a solution so if you come up w/ one let me know! Apparently the Fiber One bars are out. LOL!

Some interesting info my doc recently shared... Sugar substitutes are terrible for the digestive system. Go figure!

p.s. You should make a point of visiting UT. I'd love to have a buddy to hit up all the theater workshops with during the festivals! :)

mrs. blogoway said...

how funny! I eat FiberOne cereal for breakfast because of all the fiber and it's low in calories...

Another alternative (for the constipation) is Quercetin with Bromelain. I buy it at the health food store for my allergies (but one great side effect is that it helps with the c word). I totally recommend it! Very affordable too.