Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Relationship to Nurture

Tonight, Hubs and I met up with my cousin, MB, in San Clemente for dinner at a cute little Italian restaurant called Sonny's Pizza and Pasta. MB lives in Northern California, but was down in San Diego for business, so we met in the middle for a wonderful dinner, which she graciously treated us to (thanks, MB!).

We had a great time catching up, reminiscing about my wedding, and talking about life.

Because I have lived in so many places, I have been blessed in that I've accumulated a lot of friends. However, it can be difficult to stay in good contact with everyone. Recently, I have been realizing that it just isn't possible to maintain a close relationship with everyone. It is possible to keep a good relationship with many, but more in the way of an occassional e-mail and a Christmas card. Deep, close relationships exist with a much smaller, inner circle.

I wrote recently about having to let go of a friendship with someone who was once very close to me, but basically now isn't interested. And since then, I have decided to let go of another not-so-close friend who generally blows me off. And you know what? It's okay. There is no need for me to hold on to relationships that have either died or really never were in the first place. But that's a tangent.

What I want to say here is that I do have an inner-circle of dear friends and family who love me and who I dearly love, and I want to concentrate my efforts on nurturing those relationships. I want my life to be marked by relationships that really matter. MB is definitely one of those people. The fact that she is family, she lives in California, she initiates getting together with me, she loves me, and we genuinely like each other (!!!) are all ingredients for a relationship worth nurturing. Plus, did I mention that she's my fairy godmother? It's true!

After dinner, we drove our separate ways, and when we got home, she had already sent an e-mail to us saying what a great time she had with us, and she told me that she feels so connected to me. Can I just say how much that means to me? Being a Texan transplant with most of my significant relationships out of state (besides Hubs, of course), it feels so wonderful to share a connection with my cousin that way.

Definitely a relationship worth nurturing.

MB and her beautiful family at my wedding.


J at said...

Hi MB! I remember how gracious (sp!) she was at your shower. :)

I have a hard time with the letting go of friends who don't make an effort. But it makes sense, and as long as you do it consciously and with care, I think it's a good idea.

Buttercup said...

Starshine - It's hard to let things go, but sometimes it is for the best. I agree with your approach to nourish those relationship that bring you something positive in return. There should be a balance in relationships.

Beenzzz said...

Letting go can be hard. Sometimes I feel an enormous amount of guilt about it, but I've come to the conclusion that if it's dead, then it's dead.
I'm glad that you and your cousin have that close bond. I often wish I had the same thing, but alas, I don't since they all live so far away.

ML said...

There are times when you have to just let go and let it be ok. Then there are the friendships that never end. Those are sweet!