"The biological side of the triangle is passion, the spine-tingling sensation that moves us toward romance.... The emotional side of love's triangle is intimacy. Love without
intimacy is only a hormonal illusion. One cannot desire another person over the long haul without really knowing that person.... The cognitive and willful side of the love triangle is commitment. Commitment looks toward a future that cannot be seen and promises to be there--until death."
"Passion, intimacy and commitment are the hot, warm, and cold ingredients in love's recipe. And these ingredients vary, because the levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment change from time to time and from person to person. You can visualize the fluidity of love by considering how the love triangle changes in size and shape as the three components of love increase and decrease. The triangle's area represents the amount of love. Large amounts of intimacy, passion, and commitment yield a large triangle. The larger the triangle, the more love."
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
I got the idea for this post from J who first saw it at Miscellanous Mum. The idea is that you write a letter from your present self to yourself in the past. I like J's letter so much, I thought, I'd give it a try, too.
Dear 1985 Me,
You are just 10 years old. The awkward phase is just around the corner, so I think you could use a little encouragement.
Already, the "in crowd" is forming. There is a group of girls who stand around on the playground and talk about who-knows-what during recess. Already, they are giving up their precious childhood right to play. I know it hurt your feelings when you approached their exclusive circle and they told you, in so many words, to go away. It makes me teary for you still. I assure you, however, that you aren't missing out on a thing in that silly circle. Monkey bars, swing sets, and see-saws are infinitely more fun, and you won't be a kid forever. So run free, little me! Those girls weren't your friends then, and I'm no longer in touch with a single one of them! When you walk into your ten year high school reunion seventeen years from now, you will feel fabulous because you learned to embrace yourself, and the playing field will feel incredibly even (or even slanted slightly in your favor) with respect to the "in crowd".
Now, about dreams. You and I both know that already you are a passionate person. When the auditions for Old McDonald's Follies happen next week, follow that instinct to audition for the lead. You will play Mrs. McDonald. It will awaken something in you that won't die for the rest of your life. It's called a dream. God placed it in your heart long before you will ever find out it is there. Some won't understand it. Some will admire you for it. Some will not accecpt you for it. And others will encourage you. Whatever you do, don't expect the rest of the world to offer you affirmation in this area. Just believe in yourself and go for it. One day, in 2006, a gorgeous man will fall in love with you, and embrace the artist inside of you. In fact, he'll want you just the way you are. You have no idea now how much that will mean to you, but trust me, it means a lot, and his love will be a healing balm to your sweet soul. You will love him with all your heart, and 2074 Me has a feeling that you will have a wonderful life together.
Speaking of love, this may be a bit of a topsy turvy road for you. In fact, you will learn a lesson or two from the school of hard knocks. Just learn what you have to learn, and keep your eyes on the Lord. He will guide you through some tough times, and even rescue you when you need it most. My best piece of advice about relationships would be to trust your instincts. If someone seems like bad news, he is. Period. Don't even question yourself for a second.
What I said a second ago about keeping your eyes on the Lord...that might sound a little strange right now. This summer though, you will go to a new summer camp, and the most life-changing thing will happen! You will become a Christian and begin a new life with Jesus. He will forgive you for all of your sins: past, present, and future. And all that guilt you've been feeling will be taken care of. You will be set free, and Jesus will be your best friend for life. Your mom already knows Him, and the rest of your family will know Him, too. Life will be full of ups and downs, but Jesus will never ever leave you.
Little me, be gentle with yourself. Be you. Enjoy each step of this wondeful journey! May God bless you!
Sending you a big hug,
Friday, March 23, 2007
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
1. No Sugar Added Fudgesicles. Mmmmmmmmmmm.
2. Doing that hand clapping thing with my friends as a little girl to a cadenced song. You remember..."Bo-bo-skee-wotten-totten."
3. Soft kisses.
4. Confidences shared and confidences kept.
5. Self respect.
6. Praying together.
7. Lullabies. Especially made up ones.
8. Freshly fallen snow.
9. Innocent questions.
10. Cotton candy
11. Little ones' hands and feet.
12. Hearing the words "I love you."
13. Having someone to say them to.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I got to visit with him while I was in Texas. Every time I see him is another gift from God. It is one more time to hug him and tell him that I love him. (I love you, Dad!) It was sobering, to say the least, when he told me that I need to prepare myself for the possibility that he may be feeling too bad to make it to my wedding in June. Of course, he wants to be there, but he doesn't know how he'll be doing at that time, and wants me to be prepared. I totally understand, and I am glad he was open with me about how he's doing.
As I verbalized all this to eSuitor last night, I just sobbed, which in a way was pretty cleansing. I have needed to grieve for my Dad's health situation for a while, but I have felt more shock or denial than sadness. Last night, though, the sadness came rushing to the surface.
Yesterday afternoon, my Dad called, and he sounded good. We talked about the wedding and whether he should wear a tuxedo or a suit. He said, "I am the father of the bride! I should wear a tux!". I loved that! So you can see that it is not all sadness. There is a mixture of emotions. Good days and bad days. A bizarre tension of living in the joy of my approaching marriage and the sorrow of my Dad having cancer. I continue to be amazed by his valiant fight. His inner fortitude is nothing short of inspiring.
This morning, I read from a devotional book called Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman (which I recommend to anyone going through a rough time). The scripture verse that it referenced was 2 Corinthians 6:10 "Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." Or as The Message translates it, "immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy". I think that verse is an apt description of how the Christian life can be. It is not that we are to ignore the deep sorrow that is part of life. It is embracing that sorrow is indeed part of the journey. We can feel it deeply. Yet no matter how hard life gets, there is always a deep joy that fills us because of God's presence in our lives.
That was my family's experience three and a half years ago when my step-dad died of cancer. Deep grief accompanied by the comfort and joy of the Lord. And that is my experience now as my own Dad fights this awful disease.
Monday, March 19, 2007
I'd like to thank my mother, without whom I never would have stuck to this! It takes lots of prep work, and she certainly did most of it. She did so much menu planning and was my cheerleader the whole way!
I'd also like to give a shout-out to No Sugar Added Fudgesicles and Sugar Free Jello. You two totally rock! You kept my sweet tooth from having to check into an insane asylum.
Now that I'm back in LA, I plan to continue to do South Beach Diet (Phase 2). 4 pounds down, 11 pounds to go for Operation String Bikini. By the way, I bought a string bikini for my honeymoon! I have serious incentive, now!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
We hired a fantastic photographer for our wedding, and a bridal sitting is included in the package. So yesterday, I got to practice my bridal look! It was so much fun. In the morning, I went to the Prescriptives counter in the mall and had my makeup done by Jamie, who made me look fabulous (if I do say so myself)! I think I could do an entire post on Prescriptives...I would mostly talk about their "Virtually Fresh" foundation that gives you a subtle, fresh-faced glow (SPF 15). After that, I came home and did my own hair in an up 'do.
All day long, the skies were very overcast, and the weather forecast was threatening strong showers with thunder. We prayed that God would stave off the rain until after the photo shoot.
We drove over to a strip mall with an exterior designed to look like Venice with cool gardens, architecture and a gigantic Italian looking fountain. It may seem a little kitchy, but the photos they showed me of other bridal sittings shot there were gorgeous! I got into my dress there, and put on the veil. I wasn't sure that I even wanted a veil, but can I just say that I love the veil! It made me feel so bridey. :)
The photographer showed me the pics through his view-finder, and I think they'll be cool. I'll have the proofs in a week, but I don't think I'll be posting any pics of my wedding dress until after the wedding, what with eSuitor being a loyal reader and all. ;)
The photographer had just shot his last photo when I felt the first drop of rain. God totally answered our prayers! We hurried inside for me to change out of my dress. When we came back outside it was sprinkling and one hour later, it was pouring, and it's been raining off and on ever since. By the time we got home last night, there was a full-on thunder and lighting storm, which was delightful, since we don't get that kind of storm in Southern California.
My mom is watching my sister's dog while she is out of town this week, and Mom has a dog too. They are enjoying a lot of indoor time because of the rain. My sister's black lab is literally curled up on top of one of my feet as I type this post. It's cozy around here. :) Ahh....home.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
We finished Day One of the diet today, and I've got to say, it wasn't bad at all! The recipes are delicious! We had grilled salmon seasoned with fresh rosemary for dinner tonight, with steamed asparagus and a salad. Very nutritious and satisfying!
The purpose of Phase One of the diet is to help get your body's insulin levels into a healthy range and to help your body stop craving unhealthy sugars. Like I said above, I love sweets, so if I can break free from my sugar cravings (or at least lower their intensity), that would be a great thing! The South Beach Diet also claims to target belly fat first. I thought that would be a definite step in the right direction for Operation: String Bikini!