One of the side effects the author of Crazy Sexy Diet wrote that I might experience while doing the 21 Day Cleanse is feeling emotional. That has certainly been the case today. I fought back tears a couple of times before lunchtime.
This morning, I was teary thinking about my late step-dad, John. I really was missing him. He's the person who gave me the nickname Starshine, which is my favorite nickname ever.
I believe very strongly in the power of naming your child well. When we were considering names for the boys, we took into consideration both if we liked the sound of the name, as well as if we liked the meaning of the name. Somehow, it seems that the names we are given have the power to impact us, for better or for worse--not only our literal names, but also the names people call us (good and bad), and nicknames!
This morning, I was just feeling so touched by the meaning of my beloved nickname. John was such an encourager to me when it came to following my acting dreams. I'm sure that he chose the name Starshine for me, because it conjured up images of a big-time actress. He believed in the beauty of my dreams and supported me in my quest to go after them, and that has always meant so much to me. This morning, though, as I was thinking about John, I wondered what he might think about my life being on this side of my Hollywood journey. I left Hollywood never having won a big break, and certainly not having found stardom. (Although I'll be forever grateful for the myriad gifts God gave me while I was there: a husband!, an incredible acting teacher, a technique for acting on-camera, a renewed love for theatre acting, and some wonderful friends to name only a few.)
Without a doubt, John would still be proud of me. Without a doubt, I would still be his Starshine. And this morning, as I stood in this private moment, fighting back the tears, I realized that he didn't name me Starshine because he believed I would one day be a big star. He named me Starshine because he saw the light within my spirit, and he believed that I already was one.
That is the sweetest gift a father could give his daughter. My heart is filled with gratitude, and the floodgates have now let loose. Perhaps this diet isn't just cleansing my body, but also my soul.
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3 comments:
Loved reading this, it spoke to my soul too. I feel the same way and am lately questioning my skills, accomplishments etc... But i agree with your step-dad, you have always been a Star to me! Can't wait to see you in person soon. ; )
Thank you, Aliaschick! You're the sweetest, and I can't wait to see you in person soon, either!!! Yea!!!
Hi,
I am a friend of the Houston Kelly G. She told me about your Blog and I read it for a while but wanted to comment today. It's amazing how food can effect our emotions. Hang in there- it's worth it. This month will let God teach you amazing things about yourself. When it's all over you can choose a food lifestyle with your "eyes wide open".
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