I knew that you just might be "the one" when...

We were taking a walk one afternoon or evening and Brian told me that he wanted to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas together. I so appreciated his openness and forthrightness about it. I knew he was serious about me. It was during those relationship-defining conversations (along with the way he treasured and treated me) that I began to feel more and more secure in the relationship, and believed it was one that would last a lifetime.

Part of Brian's seminary program included a three-week silence and solitude retreat. (He's monk-ish that way!) We were seriously dating, but weren't engaged yet, and I began to grow a little anxious that all that time alone in a cabin would somehow cause him to change his mind about me. Thankfully, he sensed my anxiety, and it was during another late-afternoon walk (actually, it might have been the same one as above) that Brian told me that he thought I was "the one". He just wanted me to know before he left, so I wouldn't be worried. I told him that I thought he was "the one", too.

It was such a sweet and exciting time in life. All those years of waiting for God to bring us a marriage partner, and suddenly we realize that we've met that person, and a new life together is stretching out before us--a life together.

Some things we did on our early dates were...

First Date: Dinner at Chandra and Ice Cream in Pasadena.

Second Date: Brian picked me up at the air port after being in Texas for a visit. He drove me back to Studio City, where I was living at the time, and we had coffee and deep conversation. I remember being surprised at how open I was with him about my life. I was diggin' him!

Third Date: A four course dinner at The Melting Pot fondue restaurant. We were sitting in this romantic little corner booth, and at one point in the evening he turned his whole body toward me (sort of shifting his attention to me completely), and I could tell that he was diggin' me, too!

Fourth Date: We heard one of Brian's seminary professors speak at his church. I met several of Brian's friends that night. Brian later told me that he was soooooo nervous because so many important people in his life were in that room--his friends, fellow seminary students, his mentor, etc. I guess I made a good impression!

Fifth Date: Brian told me that he wanted to spend the whole day together, so he picked me up in the morning, and took me to the Getty Center. We had lunch there at the lovely restaurant. I remember my meal (lamb!) because it was so good, and Brian was giving me flirty eyes across the table. After lunch, we strolled through the beautiful gardens and he reached out and held my hand for the first time. It was fuuuuuuuuuuun! Can you say "butterflies"?! We had dinner that evening at Houston's (grilled artichokes!) and saw a romantic comedy (Failure to Launch). Needless to say, it was a good day!

This is how I remember the first time we met...

Brian and I met on eHarmony, so our initial conversations were over e-mail. Soon, we talked on the phone. Not long after that we had our first date--dinner at a Thai restaurant called "Chandra" in Pasadena, CA. Brian was seated at the table when I arrived and stood up to greet me. My first thought was, "He's tall!", and I liked that. Dinner conversation was easy and light-hearted. I knew he could be my good friend, but didn't know yet if we would become more. Brian asked me out for a second date at the end of the first. I said yes!

This is how our first date was arranged....

Brian and I had been communicating through eHarmony for a few weeks, and had recently had one or two phone conversations. One morning, before I headed out the door for work, I checked my eHarmony account and found a message from Brian asking me if I'd like to have dinner with him the coming weekend. I happily accepted!

On our first date we...

met for dinner at Chandra in Pasadena. I arrived first, but I didn't want to seem too eager, so I went for a walk around the block. By the time I walked back to the restaurant, Brian had arrived and was waiting for me at our table!

I remember talking over dinner about our Myers-Briggs personality types and thinking that Brian was a pretty delightful guy.

After dinner, we walked through Old Town Pasadena and got ice cream!

[Fun side note]: After ice cream, we walked back to Brian's car, and there was a parking ticket on it. I felt so bad for him! I remember being so impressed, though, with how he handled it. He just put it away and calmly said that he'd deal with it later. Something like that could have really put a damper on our evening, but he didn't let it get in the way of enjoying our time together, and that said something to me about his character that I really liked.

[Really fun side note]: Brian still buys me ice cream on a regular basis, and his wonderful character is still one of the things that makes marriage to him so great!

National Blog Posting Month

It's that time again--November is NaBloPoMo! And since I'm in serious need of some blogging inspiration...I'm in! One post for every day in November.

I have two books I'll be using as blogging inspiration: The Book of Myself and The Book of Us, which I've mentioned before here. As I write on my blog, I plan to record the same stories by hand in the books, which I hope I'll enjoy reading as I get older, and perhaps my kids and grandkids will enjoy reading them one day, too.

Let the fun begin!!!

Before I met you, my love life was...

a bit of a crap shoot. I honestly didn't really know for what or whom I was looking.

As much as I love my parents, I can't say that theirs was a marriage that I hoped my own would one day resemble. It was marked by disappointments, unfulfilled hopes and at the end...divorce. I love them both dearly, and I mean absolutely no disrespect. I'm only saying that when it came to knowing what a vibrant and healthy marriage looked like, I was at a bit of a loss in my dating life. I just did my best to figure it out as I went along--sort of a trial and error kind of thing. Breakups started to feel a little embarrassing. Sort of like, Am I missing something? Why do all of my relationships end in a breakup? Thankfully one of my friends reminded me that the only one that wouldn't end in a breakup would be the one I marry. That sounded sensible.

As I journeyed through my single/dating years, I learned some valuable things:

~There are some good men and not-so-good in this world, and at first glance, it can be hard to tell the difference.

~If someone cannot name their shortcomings specifically and they don't respect your "no", they are absolutely not worth a single second of your time.

~Falling in love is the most wonderful feeling, and the pain of a broken heart is the worst. But it is survivable and life goes on.

Eight years after my parents divorce, my mom met and married the single gentleman who lived right next door to her. Theirs was an amazing love story. It was so fun to see my mom having this wonderful romance and marriage during my adult years. It gave me an opportunity to see a thriving marriage up close and personal. It also (along with some of the life lessons I'd learned along the way) gave me a compass and a roadmap, if you will, for dating. Finally, I had a little clue of what I was looking for. I also wrote a list (at the behest of a good friend) of qualities I was looking for, so that I'd be able to recognize the man of my dreams when I met him!

Finally, I did meet you...and you are so much more than "the man of my dreams". You're my Brian, and my life with you is so rich, the "before I met you" part fades in comparison.

If this had not happened, we would have never met...

When you have met and married someone you love so deeply, it's hard to imagine that anything could have kept you apart. Yet so much happened to bring us together!

The internet was invented.

We both had personal computers.

Neil Clark Warren created eHarmony.

We both got on eHarmony when we did.

We matched on eHarmony and communicated with each other.

We talked on the phone and that went well.

Finally, a first date, and then a second and a third!

We marvel that we met through a matching program on the internet, and wonder if we would have ever found each other any other way. We did realize that in 1994, we were both at the same conference in Nashville, Tennessee, but never met each other. In fact, Brian was breaking up with a girl that weekend! What if we would have met those 12 years earlier? What if we had never met at all? Would we have ever met some other way? Only God knows.

The important thing, though, is that we did meet, and that we are together, at last.