Thirteen Thoughts Bubbling in My Brain

That's right--it's the Thursday Thirteen!

1.) I'm just so happy with eSuitor. I hope I don't sound like an annoying starry-eyed girlfriend, but I must gush. We have so much fun together! He's leaving town for a few days tomorrow, so tonight he came up for dinner and then we got together with some friends of mine (fellow Texans living in LA). He's so easy to be around, and I'll miss him while he's gone!

2.) My group of Texan friends living in LA are cool! We're doing a book study together. We're discussing The Journey of Desire by John Eldridge. It's a great book about how the desires in our hearts affect the way we live. It makes for lively discussion. The people in the group are so honest. I love that!

3.) My day job isn't so bad. Aside from the occasional stressful day, I actually enjoy aspects of my work and I'm learning a lot.

4.) Just because I admitted to #3 doesn't mean that my acting dreams are any less real.

5.) My roommate told me a great way to make chocolate cake. Combine one box of chocolate cake mix with a 12 oz. can of Diet Coke. Bake as directed on the box. It makes a delicious and moist cake with half the fat!

6.) #5 tastes even better with vanilla bean ice cream and fresh strawberries on top.

7.) Volkswagon Beetles are my dream car.

8.) Gray's Anatomy rocks. I have now watched all of Season 1 on DVD, so I have the back story. It's well-written and well-acted, too!

9.) I feel encouraged by my acting class. I feel myself growing in my craft, and that is a great feeling.

10.) I love my family so much. I can't wait to go home to see them next month. They are so special to me, and I'm so blessed by them. My sister called me today and told me the most encouraging thing on the phone. It just made my day.

11.) Singing makes me feel soulful. When I sing, I feel very true. Very alive. Very much "myself".

12.) Kissing is one of life's sweet pleasures. I love the line from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, "In delay there lies no plenty. Then come kiss me sweet-and-twenty."

13.) Life is a precious gift! I'm thankful for mine, and as we discussed tonight at the book study group, I'm thankful that it won't end when I die. This is only the beginning of life eternal.

One More Reason Heaven Will Be Oh So Nice...

No need for insurance.

That, my friends, sounds heavenly!

Stressed out!

How can one "day job" be such a rollercoaster ride? I vascilate between feeling like I'm in WAY over my head and feeling like I'm getting the hang of it. Last week, I was feeling pretty comfortable in my new position. But today, I left work so stressed out because people start talking to me about things assuming that I know just what they're talking about. And I'm like, "Huh?" *stops to pick nose*

I came home from work and made myself take a nap, but I was so anxious that I kept waking up every 15 minutes. At least for the first hour. Then I slept for an hour solid. I hate stressing about something that I don't even care about. Even writing this post, my body temperature is rising from the stress. YUCK!!!

I'm going to go walking now to blow off some of this tension. Hope it helps.

Let's Start from the Very Beginning...It's a Very Good Place to Start

As revealed in this post, my favorite movie of all time is The Sound of Music. I grew up watching it with my mom and sister. We would sing "A Few of My Favorite Things" just for fun.

As an adult, I have even had the opportunity to see it twice on the big screen, both times with my actor-friend C.B. The second time was a special sing-along version. Kinda like karaoke en masse. It was FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! People came dressed up in costume (my favorite was a family who came as brown paper packages tied up with string). And when the movie started, we all hissed at the Baroness Schraeder. Good times!

Imagine my excitement when a co-worker told me that this happens at the Hollywood Bowl EVERY SUMMER!!!

I think I may feel a tradition coming on.

Rough, Tough Cream-Puff

A few weeks ago when I was in Texas, my sister and I were walking down the hallway of the hospital where our Dad was receiving cancer treatments. As we looked down the corridor, we saw the silhouettes of two cowboys approaching us. Cowboys in full gear. Cowboy hats, boots, spurs, chaps...the whole enchilada. I assume they were there to visit children and cheer them up.

As they approached us, I looked one of the cowboys in the eye and couldn't resist the urge to say in a thick drawl, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us." He looked at the other cowboy and then back at me and said, "Well, aren't you just a rough, tough, cream-puff!"

I Love Karaoke!

That right! I'm saying it right out loud: I love it! Some may think it's a craze that's passed while others might just not understand it's important place in the world. But I'm here to tell you that karaoke is awesome and if you haven't given yourself permission to feel the thrill of getting up on that stage, taking the mic, and staring at the words on the screen as you belt out the tune of your choice from the depths of your heart...your life is not yet complete!

Some of my favorite karaoke classics are:

• "Son of a Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield
• "I Say a Little Prayer for You" by Dionne Warwick
• "High Hopes" by Frank Sinatra
• "Big Spender" from Sweet Charity
• "What I Did for Love" from A Chorus Line

What are your thoughts on karaoke? Any special karaoke memories? Favorite songs you enjoy singing (or slaughtering--both are acceptable in karaoke!)?

Do tell!!!

Revel In It!

I've just started reading Eat This Book, a book about reading Scripture by Eugene H. Peterson, translator of The Message which is the Bible in modern-day language. In chapter one of Eat This Book, Peterson begins his discussion of spiritual reading by examining the Hebrew word hagah which is often translated as "meditate", but sometimes is translated as "growl" in the way a lion growls as he is about to devour his prey. Here is a great quote from the book:

There is a certain kind of writing that invites this kind of reading, soft purrs and low growls as watering and soul-energizing morsel words--"O taste and see that the LORD is good!" (Psalm 34:8). Isaiah uses the...word (hagah)...for the cooing of a dove (38:14). One careful reader of this text caught the spirit of the word when he said that hagah means that a person "is lost in his religion".... Baron Friedrich von Hugel compared this way of reading to "letting a very slowly dissolving lozenge melt imperceptibly in your mouth."

I love the idea of reading that way. The way we savor a mouth-watering meal, enjoying every bite. Why not take in God's Word that way? But not just that, how about so many things in this life? Time spent with loved ones, a favorite t.v. show or film, participation in a hobby? My life moves at such a fast pace, I just want to make sure that I am slowing down enough to savor the blessings.

Things I have savored lately:

• Season 1 of Gray's Anatomy on DVD (thanks, roomie!).
• An awesome song I heard yesterday. I just wanted it to keep going. There was a point in the song where chorus and verse were sung at the same time and it sounded so full of beauty and life.
• The smell of jasmine blooming everywhere I seem to walk!

Weekend Reflections

What a great weekend!

On Saturday, eSuitor took me to Sunset Beach and we went kayaking together! It was so fun. It's nice to be dating someone who has an adventurous aspect to his personality and who is also a planner. He plans fun adventures, and I get to go along for the ride!

Today, we spent the day with some of my friends who were here from Texas! (Hi Angie!!!). We had a great time together having lunch on the Santa Monica Pier and walking and brousing the 3rd Street Promenade.

The weekend went by so fast I can hardly believe it! The best part of the weekend was about an hour ago. Before eSuitor and I said goodbye, we prayed together. It was so nice to be able to share our concerns for the upcoming week and then pray for one another. I feel more fortified now to face Monday.

Have a good week, y'all!

Update on my Dad

My Dad seems to be in good spirits. He's been going to work and working out at the gym! In a couple more weeks, he'll have another PT scan and we'll know more. Please continue to pray with me for his complete healing. Thank you!!!

Thirteen (Selfish) Things I'd Do ...

If Money and Time Were No Object

Fly to Spain in September and go to my friend's wedding.

Stay for another two weeks for the Fiestas del Pilar in Zaragoza.

Finance my own film project.

Hire someone to design a cool masthead for my blog.

Take French classes.

Take voice lessons.

Buy a condo here and one in NYC, so I could be one of those bicoastal types.

Travel, travel, travel!!!

See eSuitor everyday. He lives too far away to do that, so usually we just see each other on the weekends.

See my family a lot more often (although I'm blessed to see them as much as I do!).

Buy a real air-conditioner to install in place of the "swamp cooler" in my apartment.

Trade in the my '96 Japanese commuter car for something a little more up-to-date. I'm not complaining about it. Very thankful for it. But I'm being selfish here, people!

Road trip around the country seeing the USA and stopping along the way to see friends that are scattered across it.

Now that I've made out my list, I feel like I've probably left off some doozies. What would you do?

The Pilar in Zaragoza, Spain (one of my favorite cities on earth)!

Reason Number 792 That I Totally Dig My Man!

Not only did he pump my gas, but he shined my glass!

Yum.

Narcissism Gone Silly

Thanks for your votes, y'all. I think I'm going to go with the majority votes on these. Picture B for a commercial look and picture C for my theatrical look.

I thought (for kicks and grins) I'd show you one last picture. It just makes me laugh! I wanted to try to take a comic photo. This was the best I came up with. It's my "Bimbo Secretary" look.

"You wanted sugar in your coffee? Oh! I thought you said salt."

Have a wonderful weekend, y'all!

The Narcissism Continues...

Now for the "theatrical" shot. This is supposed to be a more serious, dramatic look. Which do you like the best?

A.

B.













C.

D.














E.

F.

Thanks for helping me decide! You're my very own on-line career consultants!

At the risk of coming off completely narcissistic...

I'm conducting a poll today on which of my new headshots you like best.

A.

B.

I just got a bunch taken and now I have to choose which ones I'll get reproduced. Today, I would appreciate your thoughts on which of these you like best for a smiling, commercial look.

C.

D.

Thanks for your input!!!

(More dramatic looks to come!) ;)

Heart-Song

I have been incredibly cautious about bouncing off the walls and shouting from the rooftops how happy I am with eSuitor. Not because I don't want to jinx it. I don't really believe in jinxing. More because I have had some bad luck (for lack of a better word) with relationships. I so fear seeing this one end that I'm afraid to openly express my excitement over the relationship because if it were to go down in flames, I don't want to have any 'splaining to do.

But I can't stand it any longer. This is my little forum to express my true self, free from the judgment of my inner critic. And frankly, I think it's time to kick fear in the butt.

I'm in love. There. I said it.

I'M SO HAPPY, I CAN HARDLY BEAR IT!

SO. MUCH. JOY!

Thank You, God!

It's A Bridge, Right?

You know when you should be feeling so grateful for something, but instead there is a sinking feeling in your chest? Yeah. Not a good feeling.

Seven months ago, shortly after moving to LA, I was blessed with a job as a temp at a mortgage company. It was a huge blessing in that it paid the bills and gave me the flexibility to take off work for auditions and acting jobs when they came up. I have often marvelled over the past several months how a right-brained creative type like me ever landed a gig as an analyst in the loan industry. I can only credit the grace of God. (And say a big thanks to my friend in Texas who hooked me up!)

After months of temping, my wonderful boss called me into her office and told me that my temp days were numbered, but that she would like to recommend me for a full-time position. I expressed concern about losing the flexibilty I had as a temp to go on auditions, and she told me that I would still have that flexibility. I would have been crazy to not accept the position. So I did.

Today began with a meeting with my new boss. She's a dynamic lady who I think I'll enjoy working with. As she described what my new responsibilities would entail, it became increasingly clear that I now have a "real job". Good-bye "temp". Hello "compliance specialist" (aka fish-out-of-water).

Being a temp felt a lot better--like I was less attached to a job that will be just that--temporary. I don't want to work in the mortgage industry for a long time. I want it to be temporary! I want to be an actress!

Becoming a "compliance specialist" feels like I'm taking a step away from my acting dreams, not moving toward them. I don't want to feel like my day job is an obstacle to my true aspirations. eSuitor asked me what it would look like if the new job were a bridge to my dream and not a wall separating me from it. That was a very encouraging thought.

I'm not quite sure what that would look like, but I hope I can see it that way soon.

Road Trip with eSuitor

Saturday was pretty much a perfect day. eSuitor came by to pick me up at about 10 am, and we drove up to Santa Barbara to spend the day there. We had a great time talking in the car. (One of my favorite things about road tripping is time to chat as you watch the world go by.)

We picnicked on the beach in the shade of a palm tree and then took a nice long walk in the sand.


Later, we toured the Santa Barbara Mission.



And before heading back to LA, we met eSuitor's cousins for dinner, which was so fun. Really great people.

Really great day.

Know Myself

One of the most important life lessons I have learned is the importance of knowing myself. Here are a few of the things that I know about moi!

• I am so completely loved by God and I'm perfectly acceptable to Him just as I am.
• Holding onto that truth is one of the hardest things for me.
• I love Him, too.
• I have no interest in Botox or plastic surgery.
• I love ice cream, but I can only buy it one pint at a time. Otherwise, half gallons disappear too quickly and my booty expands at the same rate.
• My family is precious to me.
• My eSuitor is too.
• My life-long dream of being an actress is an ambition that will be with me all my life.
• I like blogging.
• I am a right-brained creature: I love creating--acting, writing, singing, scrapbooking, crafting. Funny how it's incredibly hard to earn money doing any of those things! Still, my soul feels alive and like I am glorifying God when I'm doing those things that He created me to do.
• It's Friday. Amen!

Y'all have a wonderful weekend!