"A" is for Actress

It's been quite a while since I've written anything about my acting career, and that is because (quite frankly) it was slow going around here for a while. The writers' strike slowed things down quite a bit, and I had the hardest time even getting an audition. To be resourceful, I borrowed a friend's camera and made these three videos.

Thankfully, the strike came to an end, and things have been picking up! I also have a new commercial agent, who has been sending me out on more auditions.  I am really content right now because in the last two weeks, I've had four auditions!  Two were for commercials and two were for film/tv work. On Saturday, I auditioned for a USC student film, and got cast! Hopefully, it will result in some good material to use for my reel. I'm excited about the part--a 1940s ballroom dancer. Cool, huh?

The film I shot over a year ago (The Chronicles of Hernia) is due to be released in May or June. I'm also super-excited about being involved in the shaping of a television pilot, which I will also get to act in. We will likely shoot it in June or July. I am really so thankful for these opportunities. 

By the way, you might notice that I titled this post "A" is for Actress (as opposed to Actor).  I've noticed here in Los Angeles that both men and women are referred to as "actors" here. Part of me likes that (probably the feminist part that enjoys equality among the sexes). About 10 years ago when I was living in New York, I used to refer to myself as an actor, too. For some reason, I thought "actress" sounded like a diminished form of the word "actor".  But now my pendulum is swinging the other way, and I'm back on the actress train.  It just sounds so old school, in the best way possible. I've come to see the feminine form of the word not as inferior or sissy-ish. Just set apart and distinctly feminine.  And while I am definitely pro-equality among men and women, I also enjoy celebrating the differences!

April is a Month of Letters!

Dear Reader,

You might remember that November is NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), in which participating bloggers write a post every day for that month. Well, the organizer of NaBloPoMo has arranged a blogger challenge for every month of the year. Essentially, you can choose to make any month NaBloPoMo, and each month has a different theme.

I'm choosing to participate during the month of April. The theme is "letters". I've decided to write a different post for each of the 26 letters of the alphabet, and for the remaining 4 days of the month (one of which would be today), I will write a letter of some kind.

I'm looking forward to a fun month of blogging, and hope that this challenge will help uncork my creativity a bit more!

Warmly,

Starshine

Dad Update 2

I spoke with my Dad today on the phone.  He is still in the hospital, but has turned a corner, and is in much less pain today.  Praise the Lord!  My sister will be driving over Sunday to spend some time with him, and he is expected to be released from the hospital on Monday.

Thank you so much for your prayers. They are much needed and appreciated. I'm relieved to know that Dad is feeling better today.

Update on my Dad

Almost a month ago, my Dad flung open a door to let one of his dogs out, and he felt pain in his shoulder.  He didn't know what had happened, but the pain got so bad during the night that the next day, he went to the ER.  X-rays revealed a broken arm just below the elbow.  They put his arm in a splint and a sling and told him to go see a bone doctor.

A few days later (while Jilly and I were visiting), he had an appointment with the bone specialist. He took another x-ray which revealed that the cancer had gone to a portion of the bone in his lower right arm and depleted the bone of 50% of its density, leaving it brittle--thus the broken bone from just flinging open a door.

The prognosis was that Dad would need an elbow replacement surgery, which he had yesterday. My understanding is that because the cancer had gone to the bone, the break would never heal. So yesterday, the surgeon removed the elbow and the part of the bone that was cancerous, and replaced it with a stainless steel prosthetic elbow/bone.

Dad was in a lot of pain last night after the surgery, and they were trying to help him manage it. Today, he is supposed to begin physical therapy--amazing how quickly they start it!  He will likely be in the hospital for the next 3-6 days. Please continue to keep my Dad in your prayers. Please pray specifically that his body will accept the new elbow, that there won't be any infection, and for his healing and comfort.

Thank you, as always, for your prayers and support.

With love,

Starshine

Remembering Pete

I received sad news today that one of my former co-workers, Peter Robert Bunning, passed away earlier this month. He was only 30 years old.

Pete and I worked together for about a year. He was an electrical engineer and very good at his job. Although we only worked together for a short time, he definitely made an impression. I will remember Pete for his warmth, his smile and his wonderful sense of humor. He was passionate about salsa dancing, and I would sometimes catch him in the break room practicing his footwork, which was totally endearing. The man could dance! Because of him, several of us from work would go out dancing together, which made for a fun camaraderie among coworkers. 

Pete won me over immediately with his kindness. My nickname for him was "Sweet Pete".

I'll miss you, Pete. Your kindness, your smile, your sense of humor, and your love of life and dancing endeared you to me and to many. Your life touched me and made a difference in me for the better, and I am honored and glad that I knew you.

A Letter from Little Red Riding Hood to the Big Bad Wolf

Dear BBW,

Hi. A memo for your reference:

1.)  I just want you to know that yesterday when you tried to intimidate me on my way to my grandmother's house, that was totally uncool.  Dude, I'm just a little girl.  Get an IQ and stop bothering children.  You dig?

2.)  If you ever try that again, I will totally call 9-1-1 on my cell phone that my grandmother gave me for my birthday and tell the cops on you.  I'm not afraid to tattle.

3.)  My parents work till 5 pm, so I will continue to be walking through the woods to my grandmother's house after school every day for the rest of the school year.  The three little pigs told me that they are sick of your shenanigans, too, and they totally have my back. 

4.)  My grandmother told me that if you ever so much as talk to me again that I should kick you where the sun don't shine.  Hard.  Grandmother is wise.  Did I mention that I know karate?

5.)  Two words:  pepper spray.

  

Don't mess with me. Capiche?

Truly,

Little Red

cc:

Three Little Pigs

Grandmother

Mom and Dad

Fairy Godmother

The Law Firm of Wingem, Stingem, Punchem and Robem

Good Friday, Indeed.

Yesterday, I was channel surfing and came across an old movie about the life of Jesus. The particular scene that was on was of Jesus teaching in the temple. Some who listened believed. Others were sceptical.

I wondered if I were there that day if I would have believed or if I would have been among the skeptics. I am very aware on this Good Friday that I am so blessed with the gift of retrospect. Had I lived in Jerusalem during Christ's lifetime, I wonder if I would have been among those shouting "Crucify him! Crucify him!"

One of the most touching parts of the crucifiction is when Jesus is suffering on the cross--his heart full of compassion for those who were killing him--he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

My heart is comforted knowing that if I were among those shouting "Crucify him!", Jesus (in his great mercy) would still have seen the depths of my sinful heart with compassion and cried out to the Father, "Forgive her, for she doesn't know what she is doing!"

And then I remember that he did.

Books: A Meme

My blog buddy J from Thinking About tagged me earlier this week for this meme.

What book are you reading right now?  I just finished reading a book called The Life You've Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People by John Ortberg.  Hubs and I read and discussed it on a chapter-a-week basis with a group of friends.  I included a passage from the book in a post I wrote here.

What was the last book you read on a plane? Flying back from Texas last week, I read the play Amadeus by Peter Shaffer.  It is a wonderful play about Antonio Salieri's competitive friendship with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and on a deeper level about Salieri's anger at God for not giving him the same degree of fame and success that he gave Mozart.  You may remember the Academy Award winning movie by the same title from the '80s.  (J, did you enjoy my use of the apostrophe?)

What was the last book you read on a roadtrip? I, too, have a guilty pleasure called People Magazine! 

What is the most unusual place you found yourself reading? Three o'clock in the morning.  (That's a place, right?) A really good fiction novel keeps me reading long into the wee hours.

What books would you take to keep you occupied on a two week vacation to the beach? My sister gave me a book years ago that I really want to read called A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers.  It is the first in a trilogy called The Mark of the Lion.  It is historical fiction set during the time of the gladiators.  I have heard nothing but raves about the series.  Rivers also wrote one of my favorite fiction reads of all time called Redeeming Love.  If you haven't read it, go buy it now.  It is a retelling of Hosea's story, set in San Francisco during the gold rush. That book definitely kept me up 'til the wee hours because I simply could not tear myself away from it.  The book has nearly 500 reviews on Amazon and a 5 star rating.  It's really excellent!

I definitely have some readers in my life who I'd like to tag for this meme:

Hubs at The White Stone

Sharon at Grab the Fish

Jennifer at Jennifer Disney Photo Blog

"Boop" Keeps it Real

When it comes to being a grandmother, my sister's mother-in-law, "Boop", tells it like it is!

Things I Learned on my Camping Trip

1. We have found friends to travel with!

Meet our friends Jenn and Dave:

They are a really wonderful couple who we have enjoyed getting to know. Hubs and Dave became friends in seminary.  Big bonus that Jenn and I have hit it off, too, so the four of us have been hanging out more and more, and we always have a good time.  The other night at dinner, we were talking about how fun it would be for the four of us to vacation together, so we thought a weekend camping trip would be a fun and easy way to test the sometimes tumultuous waters of traveling companions.  Our weekend was a hit, and we all agreed that future trips are in order!  Yea!

2.  Camping in the "wilderness" of Orange County is my kind of camping!  Our campgrounds were fairly rustic, and it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.  We cooked at our campsite and ate our meals at this table.  It was great to be "unplugged" and away from the noise of our electronic lives.  Still, it was nice to have 4 bars on my cell phone if I needed it, and it was very comforting to know that Starbucks was only 5 minutes away.  On Saturday night, the wind picked up and it was so cold, so we decided to thaw in Starby's for an hour before we hunkered down in our mummy bags for a cold night of camping.  :)

3.  I want to like wine, but I just don't. Dave did a little research before our weekend and discovered that there was a vineyard/winery not far from the campgrounds.  I've always wanted to go to a wine tasting, and that little dream came true!  As my hubby and two friends were oo-ing and ahh-ing over the different wines, I (much to my chagrin) didn't really like a single one I tried.  I wish I could blame it on my oh-so discerning palate, but at the end of the day, I'm just not a wine person.  It was cool to taste the differences between the varieties we tried, and to recognize that "indeed this glass does have notes of grapefruit and citrus!"  It's just that I'd rather be drinking grapefruit juice.  Still, I'm glad I had the experience of a wine tasting!

4.  The view from the campground was gorgeous:

5. There's no one I'd rather share an air mattress with than my Hubs.  See his post on the camping trip here.

It looked like fun in "The Parent Trap"

When Hubs and I were dating, we talked about all sorts of things.  Inevitably, I was asked the question that it seems all boys must know:  Do you like camping?

Having braved the murky waters of my twenties, I had learned that there is no point in trying to be the person you think your boyfriend wants you to be.  Now I was in my thirties, and it was time to take the advice my mom gave me in fifth grade when cliques were forming and I wasn't in them:  Be yourself.

So that fateful day, when Hubs was asking me the camping question, I responded with gusto: Yes, I like camping very much--especially if it's at the Hilton!

Needless to say, it wasn't a deal-breaker, and we've never gone camping.  Until this coming weekend, that is.  Our friends Jenn and Dave asked us if we'd like to go camping with them, so we are borrowing a tent, sleeping bags, etc. and we'll be "roughing it" for a couple of days.  

I promise to take pictures.  Wish this city slicker luck!

Happy Birthday, Jilly!

Yesterday was my sissy's birthday! Soon she's going to be a mommy--in less than 7 weeks! If her baby is going to look anything like she did as a baby, it is destined for 100% cuteness.

Of course, some things never change...so stinkin' cute!

Taking Time into its own Hands

Having travelled across two time zones and sprinkeled a change to daylight savings on top, my body had no idea what time it was.  So last night, at 9:00, it decided to go to sleep.  It then woke up twelve hours later, feeling very good about its newfound independence!

Back in California

I'm back in California, after a good week in Texas.  

My sister is just about the cutest pregnant lady ever!  Her baby has "dance parties", as Jilly likes to call them, all the time, so I got to feel my little neice/nephew (they want to be surprised on the sex of the baby) wiggling around, and even having hiccups!

Jilly and I spent three days with my Dad and his wife.  My Dad broke his arm a few days before we got there, just by overextending his elbow when he pushed a door open.  An x-ray showed that the cancer has gone to the bone in his arm and depleted 50% of the bone density at the elbow. Please pray for him, as a team of doctors are evaluating how best to treat him.  While in Texas, we were able to go to a couple of doctors appointments with Dad, and spent a lot of time just hanging out together, which was a real blessing.  

As you can imagine, the last week was full of joy and sadness and lots of love. I really didn't let myself get too emotional while I was in Texas because I was processing so much at once, so I think I'm due for a good cry now that I'm home. Hubs met me at the airport yesterday, and it is a sweet comfort to be back in his embrace.  

I'm in Texas, Y'all

My posting may be sparse this week because I'm in Texas. I got to attend a couple of super fun baby showers for my sister this past weekend. She is looking adorably pregnant, and her baby is moving around like crazy. It even got the hiccups today!

Now, my sister and I are spending some time with our Dad, who is bravely fighting awful cancer. His strength in the midst of this tremendous trial continues to amaze me. I love him so.

Hubs is manning the fort at home, and being very sweet about it, too, I might add. :)

Please be in prayer for my Dad--for his comfort, strength, and healing. The cancer is really aggressive and not relenting. Thank you for your prayers.

Leapin' for Love

Happy Leap Day, y'all!

I didn't even have to look outside to know that the weather had turned from sunny to overcast because as soon as I opened my eyes, my sinuses told me so...headache!  It seems like the only thing that can knock those headaches gone is a good meal and some serious caffeine.  So to celebrate Leap Day, I took myself out for a wonderful breakfast at IHOP.  Ain't nothin' like Harvest Grain 'n' Nut Pancakes, eggs and BACON(!!!) with steaming hot coffee!

That being said, my day has only gotten better and better.

Since I was dining alone, I took a wonderful journal with me called "Conversations" to breakfast. Hubs had recommended an article in it called The Arts as a Means of Grace. Wow! It really hit home.  It was an interview with poet Luci Shaw, and nearly every syllable she uttered was loaded with meaning for me.  I only discovered her poetry recently, and so far every poem I've read has moved me!  One of them in particular called "The Omnipresence" left my heart flowing over with love for God:

The Omnipresence

Reminders flicker at us from

odd angles, nor will he be ignored;

we sight him in unlikely places,

oaths and dates and empty tombs.

God. His print is everywhere,

stamped on the macro- and the microcosm.

Feathers, shells, stars, cells speak 

his diversity.  The multiplicity of

leaf and light says God. Wind,

sensed but unseen, breathes the old

metaphor again. Seasons are his

signature. The double helix

spells his spiral name.

Faith summons him, and doubt 

blows only the sheerest skein

of mist across his face.

Luci Shaw, 1990

As love is what this poem evoked in me, I have been lingering on love since then.  It occured to me that Leap Day is one more day this year to tell those I love, "I love you".

God, I love You! Thank You that I cannot and will never escape Your Omnipresence.

Hubs, I love you. You reflect God's love to me everyday. Thank you for being a tangible reflection of His love and grace to me. I'm learning so much about Him because of you.

Mom, Dad, and Jilly, I love you so much.  I'm looking forward to being with you during the next week.  

Ad, I love you!  Thaggs for beig by bes frenny!  (I hab a cold.)  :)

Friends and blog buddies, I love you.  You are a warm and cozy community, and I'm so grateful for the friendship and support I find with you.  Jelly Jules, if you are reading this, please know that I am especially grateful that today is one more day you get to spend with your dear mom, Maya's Granny!  I'm so glad she's doing better. 

Bienvenido al mundo, Enoc!

My dear friend, Cristina, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.  Welcome to the world, Enoc!

The James Lipton Meme

At the end of each interview on Inside the Actors' Studio, host James Lipton asks his guests the following questions (which he borrows from French talk show host Bernard Pivot):

What is your favorite word?  Love.

What is your least favorite word?  Rules.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Seeing a live performance, worshipping God in song, a good chick flick.

What turns you off? Bullying, controlling people. Manipulators.

What is your favorite curse word?  The "f" word.  It feels appropriate to let it fly every once in a while.

What sound or noise do you love?  Norah Jones' music.  It relaxes me.

What sound or noise do you hate?  Alarm clocks.  Could any noise be more irritating?

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?  Magazine writer or linguist.

What profession would you not like to do?  Electrical engineer.  My brain is not wired that way.  (Pun intended.)

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Well done, my good and faithful servant!  Welcome home, my dear daughter!  (Big bear hug and kisses on my cheeks.)  Let's take a walk along the crystal sea...you won't need sunscreen here!

Many thanks to Mrs. Blogoway for the inspiration for this meme.

Celebrating Jennifer

Since I moved to north Orange County after getting married, Jennifer has become one of my closest friends. We had so much fun celebrating her birthday at El Torito Grill (home of the yummiest guacamole in the world!). Happy Birthday, Jen! Here are some pics of the fun!

Zebras, Be Gone!

Before Hubs and I got married, he was living in the condo that we now share. While it was definitely a bachelor pad, he has good taste and picked a masculine theme and scheme for his place. For example, the artwork in the master bedroom was a grouping of black and white framed and matted zebra prints from IKEA.

Enter moi and a joyous exchange of vows, and ta-daa! It's a new look that's fun for a girl and a boy! Shortly after we married, we repainted the walls and got a new bedspread. And over the past couple weeks, we decided to 86 the zebras from their frames (though they had been taken down long ago), repaint the frames an "Espresso" color, and replace the prints with enlarged sepia-toned pictures of our wedding!

We both really love the way they look!

For those of you worried about them falling on our heads in the case of an earthquake, we hung them with these little tremor-proof cuties and then secured them with museum putty.

Happy Friday

It's Friday, and I am glad the weekend is here.  My Hubs has been out of town, and I can't wait to see him in just a few hours.  

I'm looking forward to weekend cuddles, going to a movie, and watching the Oscars.  Sounds just about perfect.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Operation: Imputation

im.pute  [im-pyoot]

-verb

1. to attribute or ascribe:  The children imputed magical powers to the old woman.

2. Theology. to attribute (righteousness, guilt, etc.) to a person or persons vicariously; ascribe as derived from another.

Last night, I attended one of a series of lectures on spiritual formation. The speaker, Dr. John Coe, taught about what happened, spiritually speaking, on the cross--imputation.   When Jesus died on the cross, all of the sins of humankind were imputed to Him, making us completely forgiven.  At the same time, Jesus' righteousness was imputed to us, making us completely acceptable to God.

Completely forgiven by God.  Completely accepted by God.  What joy!  

As we journey with God through this life, there will be times when we are called to take a good look at the state of our hearts.  It may be scary because of the darkness and sin that we still struggle with as fallen human beings.  Even so, we can journey there with our Loving God and allow Him to transform us in our deepest parts.  He sees it all anyway, but the reality of His forgiveness and acceptance of us makes Him a trustworthy God with whom we can face our deepest struggles with sin.

Dr. Coe commented that it can be so hard for us to really understand the depth and completeness of God's forgiveness and acceptance because it is rare to experience that kind of love in our human relationships.  He ended the lecture with a challenge to pray Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me , O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

I find myself more able to express such a prayer to God in light of His complete forgiveness and acceptance of me.

What Do You Believe In?

In search of some writing inspiration, I just found this site that has an "imagination prompt generator", which basically gives you ideas of things to blog about.  The prompt I got was What do you believe in?

I believe in God.  He is my Light and my Love.

I believe in the power of dreams.  I believe that God often puts our deepest dreams in our hearts as a way to direct our paths.

I believe in the power of art and beauty to nourish the human spirit.

I believe in waiting for the right love to come into your life.  I also believe in looking for it!

I believe in treading lightly on one another's hearts. People are far more sensitive than they let on.

I believe in travel.  It is a wonderful teacher and a fabulous way to expand your world!

Glancing Back Down that Bloggy Road

This Saturday, my blog will turn two years old. My first post was about my decision to look for love online with eHarmony. Not long after that, I met my fabulous eSuitor and chronicled our love story right here on The Starshine Report--from our early dates to saying "I love you" to meeting the parents to engagement to marriage! It's fun to look back and see what God has done!

Happy Valentine's Day, Hubs! Will you be mine?

This promotion has been brought to you by The Starshine Report

I don't know about you, but when the winter air gets cold and dry, my skin gets dry and itchy! No amount of lotion seems to help. After a couple months of this itchy craziness, I found myself in the soap aisle of the grocery store because I needed to buy some new body wash for the shower. I found this awesome product: Dove Cream Oil Body Wash. After about a week of use, my skin isn't itchy anymore! I continued to lotion (as per usual), and *bam!* healthy moisturized skin! Just thought I'd share, since it seems like half of the country is buried under snow and record low temperatures.

Using My Words

It's been forever since I've sat myself down to actually write something worth reading. I have some really good excuses though.

1.) I've been sick. Cold. Fever. Snot. Enough said.
2.) My upstairs neighbors enjoy blaring their merengue music so loud that comprehensible thoughts can't find their way into my mind for all the noise. My feet, though, are tappin' to the ritmo!
3.) The presidential race is ON, people...and I, for one, have been a little obsessed. I alternate between news stations to see what's news!

This morning, though, after I woke up and blew my nose nine times, I went to turn on the television, only to realize that our cable is out.

What? No news? No Anderson 360? No Situation Room? *paces room and remembers...* Oh yeah, I have original thoughts in my head. Go to computer. Write blog post.

So there you have it! On my first day back writing a real post in a long while, I'm going to fill you on the above mentioned three things that have been occupying my time.

1.) Colds are icky. However, Hubs and I have found that if we begin a regimen of Zycam (a homeopathic over-the-counter goo that you stick up your nose) and Airborne (a multivitamin/herbal disc that you drop in to water to fizz and then drink) at the first sign of a cold coming on, it seems to limit the duration and severity of the cold. And even if it doesn't, I like to think that it does so I can at least feel like I'm being proactive about warding off the stinkin' cold.

2.) The music upstairs is taking me back to seventh grade when my mom signed me up for ballroom dancing classes and I learned merengue from a man with a perm. I distinctly remember wearing my oversized pale yellow and white striped sweater with shoulder pads and coordinating flats during that season of life.

3.) Is it just me, or is this primary election making for a very good race? I have been following both parties. This presidential election is a very important one for our nation. Has a particular candidate captured your mind? I am rooting for the underdog...go Huckabee! I like him because he is articulate, diplomatic, good-humored, and a man of faith and integrity. Plus, when I took the Presidential Candidate Calculator test back in mid-November, he was the candidate with whom I was most aligned.

Ahhh...I've missed blogging. I'll write more soon!

Wanda's Personal Superhero

This is the third video of the Wanda series. Enjoy!

Hubs Has a Blog!!!

He has been wanting to start a blog for a while now, and finally decided to go for it.

Check out his inaugural post, which also explains his blog's mysterious name:

The White Stone

(I've also added a link to his blog on my side bar.)

Happy Super Tuesday, everyone!

Baby Dedication

This morning at church, a couple from our small group dedicated their baby to the Lord. It is an opportunity for the parents to offer their child to God in prayer and to dedicate themselves to teaching the child about God and how to know Him as the child grows up.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD." -Hannah, mother of Samuel (The Bible)

Breath Prayer

The following are exerpts from the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun. I really liked what I read in it about "Breath Prayer":

Breathing is an uncounscious thing. And breath prayer reminds us that just as we can't live on one breath of air, we can't live on one breath of God. God is the oxygen of our soul, and we need to breathe him in all day long. After all, it is in him that "we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28). Breath prayer reminds us that each breath we are given is God's gift and that God's Spirit is nearer to us than our own breath.

Breath prayer or "prayer of the heart" has been practiced in the church for millennia. The Eastern Orthodox Church in particular has seen breath prayer as a way of living out Paul's instruction to "pray without ceasing."

To practice breath prayer, ponder the nearness of God. Settle deeply into the truth that Christ is in you. Deeply breathe in, repeating any name of God that is dear to you. As you exhale, voice a deep desire of your heart. When you exhale, offer up the desire of your heart. The brevity of the prayer allows it to be repeated over and over throughout the day.

Examples of breath prayers are

• breathe in "Abba," breathe out "I belong to you."
• breathe in "Healer," breathe out "speak the word and I shall be healed."
• breathe in "Shepherd," breathe out "bring home my lost son."
• breathe in "Holy One," breathe out "keep me true."
• breathe in "Lord," breathe out "here I am."
• breathe in "Jesus," breathe out "have mercy on me."

"Think often of God, by day, by night, in your business and even in your diversions. He is always near you and with you; leave him not alone." -Brother Lawrence

Wanda's True Confession

This is the second video I made of my character, "Wanda". Enjoy it and feel free to forward it/link to it!

Happy Birthday Dear Mom...

Happy birthday to you!

Wanda Introduces Herself

As I've mentioned previously, one of my New Year's resolutions was to produce some of my own work. Specifically, I have wanted to film myself doing some of my comedic characters to post on YouTube and other internet places. Wanda is the character I have spent the most time developing, so I started with her. This is the first of three videos that I have produced. I'll be posting the rest in the days to come. I'll be making more of these in the future. Let me know your thoughts...I welcome your feedback!

P.S. I Love You

I went to see the movie P.S. I Love You last weekend. Hubs was out of town, so I saw it by myself. I am one of those rare exceptions who doesn't mind going to movies alone. I started my solo cinematic outings in my early twenties, and realized that it can be fun to get lost in a movie and cry like a baby or laugh like a hyena without sharing the experience with anyone else.

As you can guess by the title of the movie, it's a romantic comedy. I didn't get married until I was 32, so I had plenty of single years to go to movies alone. In the last couple years since meeting my eSuitor/Hubs, I haven't gone to too many movies alone. As I walked out of the movie, still wiping away the tears (it was a real tear-jerker!), my heart was so full! It reminded me of all those times I walked out of romantic comedies alone with hope in my heart that I would find my special someone (and wondering if that hope was just a pipe dream). It was so tempting to believe that the great romances I saw in those movies were somehow just the stuff of fiction.

My friend Kelly was a real rock for me during my final two years in Texas before I made the move out to LA. She prayed for me to find a husband (because she knew that was the desire of my heart). She even encouraged me to go to see chick flicks because she wasn't jaded and was wise enough to know that the reason people love romantic comedies is because deep in our hearts, we believe that kind of love is possible.

I praise God for the great love He has blessed me with! Walking out of the movie last weekend, it was wonderful to see that the hope I held out to find my husband wasn't in vain. God really answered my prayers! If you haven't found your guy yet, don't give up hope!

I am living my own sweet love story, and it is beautiful!

I love you, baby!

Making it all Artsy up in Here!

While most of the nesting has been done in our condo, we've been waiting to hang artwork on the wall above our bed because we were waiting to get the high resolution files from our wedding photographer. Our idea was to convert some of the more "artsy" photos into black and whites, frame them, and hang them on that wall.

My sister and bro-in-law gave me Photoshop Elements for Christmas, and I LOVE it! My photographer friend, Jen, taught me how to convert color pics into these sepia-type images. These are my favorite six that I plan to enlarge and frame. What thinks you?

Finding Her Voice

Hubs has a subscription to Newsweek that comes weekly. This week's edition arrived yesterday with a photo of Hillary Clinton on the cover with her now much discussed quote, "I found my own voice." She said it in a speech after her win in New Hampshire.

My dear friend and blog buddy Buttercup wrote a post about how she perceived Hillary's speech, saying:

That brought me to a screeching halt. I'm all about women finding their voices, but I expect someone in Hillary's position, with her significant political experience and campaigning for the presidency, to have long since found her voice. I want her strong, clear, and filled with purpose. I don't want her "finding her voice" in the 11th hour like some poor little babe that's been lost in the woods.

I confess that as I heard Hillary's speech, I had similar thoughts. However, as I rolled it over in my brain a little bit more, I decided that surely Hillary was not just now finding her voice for the first time. Here's my take on it:

I went back over it, and I tried to hear what she was saying in context:“I want especially to thank New Hampshire. Over the last week I listened to you and in the process, I found my own voice.”

I think it was an attempt to thank the people of New Hampshire for sharing their views with her. If I may be at liberty to read between the lines of her speech, I think that in essence, her message was: As a candidate who wants to represent the citizens of America, I found my own voice in the voice of the people of New Hampshire. In other words, my voice and the voice of the people are one in the same, since I want to represent the people of America.

Another view that is widely expressed in the media is that Hillary seems to be an ice queen. I confess that when I have watched her speak, she does come across to me as rather emotionless (with the exception of her recent tearful speech), as somehow lacking in a certain humanness. I found the following quote from this week's Newsweek to be very insightful:

"To say it is late in the game for a major politician to have found one's voice is too glib. Many public figures are works in progress, and they are all certainly human. Clinton's primary victory is a new chance for voters to get to know her beyond the caricatures, positive and negative, that have for so long defined her. 'Everyone forgets she went to law school when women were not 50 percent of each law-school class, and certainly not seen as litigators,' says Maria Echaveste, a senior adviser to Clinton's campaign. 'When you were breaking down walls, it wasn't enough to be equally tough. You had to build a shell to protect yourself. That's what she did."

Perhaps that is just the theory of Maria Eschaveste, but it does help me understand how living with that modus operandi, she might come off as a woman not in-touch with her sensitive side. I imagine it is there, just very well fortified. In truth, I don't exactly align with Hillary Clinton's political views. However, I am in her debt as a woman. She broke down walls and built doorways that women in my generation can now walk through. While we still have our own battles to fight in a male-dominated society, perhaps we don't have to fortify our emotional side quite so much as she did. Because of that, I want to offer her grace if she seems cold at times. If she does become the next President of the United States, I will watch her inauguration with tears streaming down my face--not because my favorite candidate won, but because of what her victory means for my mother, for me, for my daughters, and for my granddaughters.

It will be interesting to see who wins the Democratic nomination. Whether it is Hillary or Obama, it is an exciting time in American history to see a woman and a African-American man as front runners for the Democratic nomination. As far as Republican candidates go, Mike Huckabee has captured my attention. I'm actually looking forward to seeing who surfaces as the front runner in both parties. It seems like the primary elections are a true race this year! I'm staying open and will definitely consider the issues when I vote. It is always a privilege to elect my political leader, but I feel a much more serious responsibility to vote in this election than ever before. It really matters.

Because I Feel Like Sharing

-I have been doing South Beach Diet for the last week. After the holidays, I looked down at the scale and realized that I have never weighed as much as I do now. I have gained 8 pounds since the wedding. YIKES! Since starting Phase 1 (the introductory and most strict phase of the diet), I have lost almost five pounds. Yea! When I finish Phase 1, Hubs is going to jump in and do Phase 2 with me. He really doesn't need too, but he pretty much eats South Beach style anyway, and he wants to show a little solidarity. Yea, Hubs!

-I have some fun plans this week. The one I am most excited about is going to see the musical The Color Purple with my friend.

-Sunday school was good this morning. We are in the midst of a month-long series called "Marital Hedges" on how to protect your marriage from the threat of an extra-marital affair. I creeps me out to even write about, but I guess it's a worthwhile thing to think about now when things are good.

-Last Wednesday, I went to a book group I'm part of, and I shared with the group my thoughts about buying a video camera. When I told them the two models I am considering buying, one of them spoke up and said that she owns one of them, and I was welcome to borrow it to see how I like it. I picked it up from her the next day, and I hope to shoot a video tomorrow to post on YouTube. Of course you know I'll post it here, too, once it's ready!

I'd Better Get to Livin'

As I sit to write this post, I realize that it is the first time I've really written anything for awhile. Re-approaching the keyboard to write something feels familiar and new all at once. I feel like a composer ready to write a song, but I'm not quite sure yet what the melody will be. Here goes...

It's a wierd time to be an actor. The writer's strike is still going, so production of most scripted television and virtually all studio movies is indefinitely on hold. In a time when I'd like to feel some momentum career-wise, all is quiet. It feels a like I'm on the 5 during rush hour, but there are no other cars on the highway. This is the season when I'm not working a day job so that I can make a "big push" for my career, devoting all my time and energy to finding acting work.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a little bit useless. I started feeling a little depressed on Monday with the realization that the holidays are officially over. It's time to be "out there finding work". *crickets*

I suppose that there is an upside to all this, though, right? When things slow down in "the industry", it's a good time for me to look at myself and get my "stuff" in order so that when things pick up, I'll be ready and in a good place.

For the last few months, I've been thinking about what I can do to generate my own momentum (above and beyond the usual daily stuff of submitting myself for auditions online). I have heard and read about people who are creating their own videos (of the 3-5 minute variety) and putting them on YouTube where they have found audiences and interest in their work. All this has made me think that I would like to buy a video camera and make some videos of my own characters. I like this idea for a few reasons:

-Regardless of what happens, I will feel true meaning in my days because I'll be proactively doing something for my career. I will be working my craft--growing and creating and sharing my work with an audience.

-It will kick fear and feelings of uselessness in the butt. I think that so much of what holds me back is plain old fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being good enough. The usual suspects. Making my own videos and putting them "out there" will be an awesome way to be acting before the world that I'm dying to entertain. And the great thing about video blogging and posting videos on YouTube is the comments section that allows you to interface with your viewers. If the comments are critical, I'll be able to integrate that criticism into my craft and produce even better work. If the comments are positive, I will know that I'm on the right track and integrate the confirmation of the things I am doing right. Whatever happens, it is a way to stamp out fear, because at least I'll be doing something!

-In a best case scenario, I could be discovered. I have heard from and read industry sources that say that many agencies now have hired people whose sole purpose is to scour the internet for new talent. Making my own videos will be a way to put myself into the marketplace. It will be something to feel good about!

It sounds like a good plan. Now I have the big task of deciding what camera to buy. I'm not too well-versed in this. I don't want to buy a cheapy camcorder that will yield low production values, but I don't want to buy something so professional that I won't know how to work it. I'd like to buy a user-friendly professional-grade camera.

I'd like to give a special thank you to Mrs. G, who posted a Dolly Parton song on her blog today that reminded me that I'd "better get to livin'"!

I want to thank my readers who prayed with me during my month of prayer in December. It was a special thing to participate in with my blogging community, and anytime you ever have a prayer request, feel free to write it in my comments section, and I'll pray for you. This idea I have to move forward with producing my own videos is high on my prayer request list. I'd sincerely appreciate your prayers for God's guidance. Please also continue to pray for my Dad's healing from cancer. Thank you!

Blink and You'll Miss Me!

Before Christmas, I was in a music video that was directed by Brian Ging. Stacy Kesten stars in the video. I play a very supporting part during the first minute. Yep, that's me with the baby on my hip!

Some of you have asked me to share with you when I do something acting-wise. So here you go!

Bookends for 2007

Happy New Year, Everybody!



Hubs and I had a great time in Texas. We got to celebrate Christmas with family and good friends. The day after Christmas, we flew back to California and went to a conference in San Diego where Hubs worked for a few days. On New Year's Eve day, we drove back to LA, and on the way back we made one important stop in La Jolla. We had a lot of fun revisiting the place where we got engaged on New Year's Day of 2007! It seemed fitting to end the year right where it began.

2007 has been a great year for us--one full of so many blessings!

I hope you all have a wonderful 2008! God bless you!

Just engaged on January 1, 2007:

Now happily married! Revisiting the place of our engagement on December 31, 2007:

Happy New Year from us to you!

xo,

Starshine and Hubs

eSuitor and Starshine's Wedding Video

My friend Mel and her husband are videographers. They shot our wedding and made this aweseome three minute montage. We have loved reliving our wedding day--seeing this brings back so many wonderful memories of what was definitely my favorite day of 2007!

Home for Christmas

Hubs and I are in Texas for the holidays!

It was awesome to wake up in the middle of the night to hear it pouring rain on the roof...we're not used to that in LA!

Just wanted to say "yee-haw" from Texas. :)

We'll be spending the evening with my Dad tonight for an early Christmas celebration.

Love y'all,
Starshine

Joy to the World!

On Sunday night, Hubs and I attended a fantastic Christmas program at Bel Air Presbyterian Church. The church is located on LA's westside, and 75% of the congregation is in the entertainment industry. Needless to say, anything the church does entertainment-wise is pretty excellent. This Christmas program featured a choir and orchestra, a band, and a mix of classical and contemporary music.

The big finale was a Mariah Carey-esque version of "Joy to the World", which is probably my all-time favorite Christmas carol. With Christ's birth, joy burst onto the scene! Heaven's gates opened and God's peace, hope and joy were being offered to the world in the Person of Jesus.

The lyric of the song that stuck with me and continued to ring in my head after we left the church that night was "Let every heart prepare Him room." Isn't that, after all, the reason the Church observes the advent season leading up to Christmas each year? And isn't that also one of the reasons we are focusing more on prayer this month--so that December 25th doesn't sneak up on us without our having reflected on Jesus at all?

Christmas is only about a week away! During the next week as you are praying, ask the Lord to show you if there is anything that needs to be rearranged or purged to make room in your heart for Him.

"The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us." ~Matthew 1:23

God is with us. We have not been left alone. Let every heart prepare Him room ... joy to the world!

Prayer Request

Please pray for me this morning. I will be at a callback audition for a short film at 11:00 am PST. Please pray that God will give me favor with the casting director and director. Pray that I will be well-prepared with my lines and my character. That I'll have good chemistry with whomever I read. That God will work in and through me to give the best audition!

Thank you so much!

Update: I just got home from the audition. It went really well. Thank you for your prayers! Now let's pray for some good news. :)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!

As I sit here at my computer, I'm feeling all relaxed and wonderful because I just spent the afternoon at the spa. Ahhh. Many thanks to my sweet Hubs, who gave me a spa gift card last summer for my birthday. I decided to use the whole thing in one day, and I had a mani/pedi and a massage. It was so luxurious and relaxing. They also let you use their other facilities, so I took a steam and then showered in this awesome shower with three spigets. They had this delicious-smelling shampoo and conditioner in the shower, so now my hair is peppermint scented. My finger nails are a natural light pink, and my toes are a jolly Christmas red!

In the spirit of the holiday season, I thought I'd post some fun pics I've taken over the past couple of weeks.

We don't have room in our place for a big tree, so we bought three small ones and put them on our sofa table. It was so fun to pull out the box of Christmas ornaments that my mom has saved for me over the years to decorate with.

Hubs put the Santa hat on top of the tree.


My stepdad, John, was a bit of a clothes horse. He worked in sales for most of his working life, and wore neckties a lot. After he passed away four and a half years ago, we decided to make a Christmas tree skirt out of his neckties. Actually, there were enough for us to make two! So my mom has one around her tree, and I have one around mine. It looks really festive and is always a fun way to remember him. My mom can even remember which ones he wore for certain occassions, so she'll sometimes say, "I remember when he wore that one to the Christmas party. He wore that one at our wedding." *warm fuzzies*

Some of our friends have an annual Christmas cookie night. It is a large gathering with massive amounts of chocolate chip cookies and music. The hosting family has a lot of musical talent, so we all gathered around the piano and sang carols as father and son played guitar and piano. We also played "Silent Night" on bottles.

One night, we had a dinner party with some friends and I thought it would be fun to make a candle platter. So I placed several pillar candles of varying heights on a serving platter and lit them up! It was beautiful and smelled marvelous.


The only thing is that all those flames so close together get hot, and it ends up looking like this. I think it was worth it, but I'm not sure what it will be like to clean that up. Hopefully it will come right off. I'm optimistic that way:





I grew up decorating gingerbread houses that my mom would construct from shoe boxes and graham crackers. I was so thrilled when our friends Heather and Shiloh (cool names, huh?) brought me a gingerbread house kit. The bread was already made and it came with all the icing and candy, so all I had to do was assemble and decorate. I copied the decorating design on the box and it came out all colorful and cheery. I have it on our living room table, and every so often, I get a whiff of gingerbread. Mmmm.





I hope you all are having a very joyful holiday season so far!


Lots of love,
Starshine

Ask Boldly

I want to focus today's post on asking God for what we want and need. Be encouraged by the following quotes to go boldly before God with your requests.

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

I love that it is not a throne of terror or fear. Rather God's throne is one of grace--and one we are to approach with confidence, because our God is utterly loving and kind.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

How wonderful that the result of presenting our requests to God is that His peace will guard our hearts and minds.

Prayer changes things. Thomas Merton, then a young man pursuing great success in a career in literature, felt drawn for reasons he did not understand to spend some time in a religious community with men who devoted much of their days to prayer. He wrote that when he left he was struck by the haste and anxiety of "normal" life: "My heart sank within me. I thought: 'What am I getting into? Is this the sort of thing I myself have been living in all these years?'" The thought occurred to him that in some real way these few men devoted to prayer "are doing for their land what no army, no congress, no president could ever do as such: they are winning for it the grace and the protection and the friendship of God."

You don't know how many people have been strengthened because you asked God to encourage them; how many people have been healed because you prayed for their bodies; how many spiritual runaways have come home because you prayed for their souls. None of us may ever know the true effects of our prayers this side of death. But we do know this: History belongs to the intercessors. - from The Life You've Always Wanted, by John Ortberg

Go boldly before God today with your requests. He is listening!

An Acrostic for Prayer

When my mentor Laura was teaching me about prayer, she gave me a great way to approach it. "Just remember ACTS", she said.

Adoration
Confession
Thanksgiving
Supplication

Adoration: Take time to worship and adore God. Praise Him for who He is. Maybe you can tell Him what qualities you love about Him (ie. His love, faithfulness, care). Maybe you can sing a hymn or song of praise. It doesn't really matter how you express your adoration, just that you express it!

Confession: The Bible says that it's God's "kindness that leads us to repentence". Allow God's kindess to draw you inward. See if there is any sin in your heart that you need to confess to God. Confess it, and ask for His forgiveness.

Thanksgiving: Thank God for the ways He has blessed you, for the ways that you see Him at work in your life, for His great love for you.

Supplication: This is just a fancy word for "request". Ask God for the things that you need. Make your requests to God. Do you need a job? Does a loved one need healing? Do you want to find a spouse? God wants you to be authentic with Him. Tell Him what you want.

I have so enjoyed interacting with my readers this month. I have loved praying for you, and I invite you to continue leaving your prayer requests in my comments section (anonymously is fine). I would like to ask you to please pray for my Dad, who is battling cancer. Please pray that God will heal him. Thank you for praying. God is listening!

Smile!

My sister had her 20 week ultrasound today. Isn't the 3-D ultrasound technology amazing?! The little nugget even smiled for the camera! The general consensus is that this baby totally has the same smile that my mom, sister and I have. Yea!

God's Love Song

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

What a powerful passage of Scripture to meditate on. So many morsels to dwell on. Take a few minutes today to sit alone with God. As you sit with Him, meditate on the above passage part by part.

~The LORD your God is with you. How does that truth impact your time with Him? How will it impact your day?

~He is mighty to save. Rest in his power to save.

~He will take great delight in you. Ask Him to show you the ways He takes delight in you, His child. How does your Heavenly Father's delight in you make you feel about yourself? About Him?

~He will quiet you with His love. God is love. Love is His overwhelming character quality. Love defines Him and motivates His every action. Allow His great love to quiet you. If your mind gets distracted, come back to His love. If stress starts to creep in, let His love quiet you. Sit with Him and let Him quiet you with His love.

~He will rejoice over you with singing. So often, we raise our voices to God in song as a way of showing Him our praises. But God also rejoices over you with singing. Take a moment to hear His song, as He rejoices over you, His precious child.

He loves you. His love for you is deeper than you can imagine. God, the great Creator of the universe, cares deeply for you. God loves you.

Making Room in Your Heart for God

Last week, Hubs and I were reading a morning devotional about confession. Just the word "confession" is enough to make my stomach churn. Confessing my sins to God, after all, means taking a bit of time to poke around my heart and recognize the sin that is lurking there. Still, only by confessing my sin and asking God for His forgiveness can I receive that forgiveness and know the joy of an unburdened soul.

The author of the morning devotional suggested that taking some time to examine our hearts and to confess our sins to God in prayer is an appropriate way to approach the Christmas season. Interestingly, when John the Baptist went out to "prepare the way of the Lord", He did so by calling people to repentence (turning from sin).

As we go into the Christmas season, let's take a moment today to sit with God. Ask Him to show you if there is anything in your heart you need to confess. Then confess it, ask for His forgiveness, and receive it. He will forgive you! By confessing our sins, we are "preparing the way" for God to work in our lives. Why not make some room in your heart today? Let's approach the season together with unburdened hearts that have prepared a way for Him.