Well, What d'ya Know?

Apparently, commitment, planning, and sticking to a diet really do work! During my two weeks at home, my mom and I did phase one of The South Beach Diet. I am pleased to say that during that time, I lost some weight!

I'd like to thank my mother, without whom I never would have stuck to this! It takes lots of prep work, and she certainly did most of it. She did so much menu planning and was my cheerleader the whole way!

I'd also like to give a shout-out to No Sugar Added Fudgesicles and Sugar Free Jello. You two totally rock! You kept my sweet tooth from having to check into an insane asylum.

Now that I'm back in LA, I plan to continue to do South Beach Diet (Phase 2). 4 pounds down, 11 pounds to go for Operation String Bikini. By the way, I bought a string bikini for my honeymoon! I have serious incentive, now!

With Rain and Veil and Puppy Dog Tails

Yesterday was SO MUCH FUN!

We hired a fantastic photographer for our wedding, and a bridal sitting is included in the package. So yesterday, I got to practice my bridal look! It was so much fun. In the morning, I went to the Prescriptives counter in the mall and had my makeup done by Jamie, who made me look fabulous (if I do say so myself)! I think I could do an entire post on Prescriptives...I would mostly talk about their "Virtually Fresh" foundation that gives you a subtle, fresh-faced glow (SPF 15). After that, I came home and did my own hair in an up 'do.

All day long, the skies were very overcast, and the weather forecast was threatening strong showers with thunder. We prayed that God would stave off the rain until after the photo shoot.

We drove over to a strip mall with an exterior designed to look like Venice with cool gardens, architecture and a gigantic Italian looking fountain. It may seem a little kitchy, but the photos they showed me of other bridal sittings shot there were gorgeous! I got into my dress there, and put on the veil. I wasn't sure that I even wanted a veil, but can I just say that I love the veil! It made me feel so bridey. :)

The photographer showed me the pics through his view-finder, and I think they'll be cool. I'll have the proofs in a week, but I don't think I'll be posting any pics of my wedding dress until after the wedding, what with eSuitor being a loyal reader and all. ;)

The photographer had just shot his last photo when I felt the first drop of rain. God totally answered our prayers! We hurried inside for me to change out of my dress. When we came back outside it was sprinkling and one hour later, it was pouring, and it's been raining off and on ever since. By the time we got home last night, there was a full-on thunder and lighting storm, which was delightful, since we don't get that kind of storm in Southern California.

My mom is watching my sister's dog while she is out of town this week, and Mom has a dog too. They are enjoying a lot of indoor time because of the rain. My sister's black lab is literally curled up on top of one of my feet as I type this post. It's cozy around here. :) Ahh....home.

Friday Flower Girl

Here's my adorable flower girl modeling her dress. She was so cute twirling around in it, watching it flare out as she spun around. The gold color of her skirt coordinates with the gold sash in my bridesmaids' dresses. Have a great weekend!

Thirteen Things I Need to Accomplish While I'm Home

1. Find seamstress to do wedding dress alterations.

2. Pick out bridesmaids' dresses.*

3. Meet with the minister to discuss our wedding ceremony.

4. Pick out flowers.

5. And table linens for the reception.

6. And wedding cake and groom's cake.

7. Figure out place for a rehearsal dinner.*

8. Have fun running around like crazy ladies with my mom and sister!*

9. Take flower girl to pick out her dress.

10. Meet with leader of the band playing at our reception to discuss music.

11. Weigh myself each morning so that I feel like the South Beach Diet is worth it. (So far, so good).

12. Have my bridal portraits done.

13. Remember that when it's all said and done, I will be married to eSuitor. **

* Denotes that task is already accomplished.

** My mom and I like to tell ourselves this when things start getting a little stressful. It is a gentle reminder that while the wedding details are fun and important, the wedding isn't nearly as important as the marriage that will begin that day.

Bridesmaid Dress: Check!

Today, my mom, my sister and I were on a mission to decide on the bridesmaid dresses for the wedding. I wanted to find a black dress with a golden-toned sash. We went to David's Bridal and found what I had in mind. My sister (who is my matron of honor) tried it on and looked fabulous in it. Here it is!

Bienvenidos a Miami

My mom and I may not be flying to Florida, but we are hanging out at South Beach. For my two weeks at home, we are doing Phase One of The South Beach Diet. Have any of you done it? It is the strict two-week kick-off to the diet, which later becomes less strict. Phase One of the diet consists mostly of a whole lot of protein and a whole lot of veggies. When we were checking out of the grocery store, Mom commented that it looked like we were preparing to feed an entire family of rabbits for a week. I said that it looked like a colon cleanse waiting to happen. (So, my mom's a little more suave than I am. What can I say?) eSuitor said that just hearing about the diet made him cranky. Allow me to say that the no sugar added fudgesicle I get each day is what keeps me and my dear sweet tooth from throwing tantrums.

We finished Day One of the diet today, and I've got to say, it wasn't bad at all! The recipes are delicious! We had grilled salmon seasoned with fresh rosemary for dinner tonight, with steamed asparagus and a salad. Very nutritious and satisfying!

The purpose of Phase One of the diet is to help get your body's insulin levels into a healthy range and to help your body stop craving unhealthy sugars. Like I said above, I love sweets, so if I can break free from my sugar cravings (or at least lower their intensity), that would be a great thing! The South Beach Diet also claims to target belly fat first. I thought that would be a definite step in the right direction for Operation: String Bikini!

Humbled by his love...

I am back in Texas for a couple of weeks to help my mom with wedding planning. Last night, when I flew in, she picked me up from the airport, and we went straight to my sister and bro-in-law's house for a party they were having. It was so much fun! Lots of laughter and talking with friends and good times! It was the perfect way to kick off my time at home.

Just when I didn't think life could get any better, mom and I drove back to her house and I was greeted by these beauties with a note from eSuitor saying, "Thank you for a wonderful year." I covered my face for a moment because I was just overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness. It is humbling, in the best way, when you are the apple of someone's eye. What an awesome honor!

Our first date was a year ago today. I had no idea when I went out for dinner with him that night that I would be meeting my future husband. Thank You, Lord, for bringing us together! (Proof that God works through technology!) :o)

And thank you, eSuitor, for a wonderful year! You have brightened up my world in the most joyous way! You are more than I ever dreamed of (and you know, I'm a dreamer!). You really are my soulmate, and I love you soooo!

Chapter: Next

For the past year and a half, I have been blessed to have a "day job", working in the lending industry as a "compliance specialist". It was definitely a mixed bag. On the one hand, I was able to support myself and learn a new skill set through my job. On the other hand, I never quite fit there. I felt quite like a square peg in a round hole. A puzzle piece that you can squeeze into place, but it's not the right fit. I have been a right-brained creative type working in a left-brained analytical role. Nothing about the word "compliance" even remotely fits with who I am. So it is with a grateful and relieved heart that I bid farewell to my job. Yesterday was my last day! It was planned, and I gave my notice a month ago. I just didn't want to write about it until it was a done deal.

Today begins a new chapter of my life. During this chapter, I will be able to pursue my acting career to the degree that I have been longing for. I will also be flying home for a couple of weeks to help my mom plan my wedding! I also hope that my blog posts will be a little more inspired. I'd like to use part of my time to hone my writing skills and craft something. I'm not sure what that something is. Some ideas I've had would be to write a one-woman show, some monologues, songs for a musical, or a short story. I hope to share some of those ideas with you here.

My hope is that the flame of my creativity will be fanned into a raging fire in this new season. I want to put my creativity to work. To make a living using the gifts God has given me.

Photo found here.

On a lighter note...

Thanks to all of you who left such supportive comments on yesterday's post. They were very affirming, and that is an awesome gift you gave me! Thank you!

Back in the land of good times and fun, I've had two great things happen over the past two days. The first was last night, when eSuitor called to say he was driving up to my place to COOK. ME. DINNER.

My man loves to cook for me, and what can I say? I love the food he fixes! He's such a giver! Thanks so much, sweetie!

He made me this delicious Roman-style chicken.

Today, four of my co-workers took me out for lunch and showed up with gift bags. They gave me an impromtu bridal shower! It was so fun to open wedding presents at the table. I felt so blessed and very loved by my friends.

The gift I'm holding in the above photo is a set of four photo albums for: showers, rehearsal dinner, wedding day, and honeymoon photos.

Life is so sweet!

Taking Care of my Heart

Last Sunday afternoon, I went to one of my acting classes, as is my usual routine. It's been a class I've benefitted from greatly, so I've continued going and continued growing.

However, last Sunday's class took a miserable turn south. Halfway through class, the teacher was talking, and I was deep in thought, not paying attention, and had a big yawn. My teacher noticed, as I was right in front of her, and I immediately knew I had offended her. I apologized sincerely. She asked me if she was keeping me up. I apologized again. Then she proceeded to scold me in front of my classmates for the next 3-5 minutes, accusing me of pushing her buttons. I was so humiliated, tears started to roll down my cheeks. Finally, seeing that she had made me cry, she said, "You know, sometimes the best lessons are learned when we've been hurt. Maybe this is one of those times." She then went on to continue teaching the class. My mind was reeling, and it was hard for me to pay attention at all. All that I could focus on was my bruised soul that had just taken a beating. She stopped the class again to call me out and asked if I was "going to be able to remain present". I said I would try, but that it was difficult because I was hurt.

I made it through class, and when it was over, the teacher asked me if I wanted to stay and talk or if I would prefer to talk on the phone later in the week. I said that I would be willing to stay and talk (hoping that we could work through this). I followed her into her office and thinking that I could make amends. However, she was still seeing red and proceeded to berate me all over again. This time, she imitated my yawn (so I could get a visual, and know the depths of my insult to her) and twice imitated me staring into space (with my eyes crossed, no less!). I kept listening, hoping that the tidal wave of anger would end and I could speak. But when I opened my mouth to speak, she snapped, "What?". I paused and said, "I don't think anything I say right now will help." She agreed and told me that she needed to calm down before her next class and said we could talk later in the week.

She called me the next day and left a voice message. She said that she was sorry that class wasn't a real "positive experience for you". However, she hoped that her stern words would help me to avoid such a situation in the future. (In other words, she hopes that I learned never to yawn in the presence of anyone on a set, especially the director. She told me that if I were to do that I would get thrown off the set.) She said that her heart was no longer pumping and she was ready to let me have my turn to speak.

The thing is, what would I say? I had already offered my apologies, which she said she wasn't interested in. And frankly, I felt that I was actually the one deserving of an apology. I decided not to call her back. My soul felt too raw and rattled from our last conversation, and I didn't want to be on the receiving end of that kind of verbal/emotional abuse again. eSuitor told me that the best gift I could give her was to not go back to her class again. Perhaps that would communicate that it is not okay to treat another human being that way. I agreed.

I didn't go back to class on Sunday. My teacher called me again tonight. She left me a voicemail wondering if my absence means that I am not coming back to class. She asked me to call her. Something in me (the part that wants to protect myself from further nastiness) doesn't want to return her call. I decided to send her an e-mail instead, saying that I am still processing what happened in class, and that I will contact her if I decide to come back. I tried to make it diplomatic while still being honest about the fact that her actions are impacting me and influencing my decision of whether to return to class.

I feel 10% like a wuss for not picking up the phone and talking to her in person. But I feel 90% wise for protecting my spirit, which deserves no more of her biting words or nastiness. If I were dealing with a normal human being who wanted to work things out, I would call. However, I don't know who I'm dealing with. I only know that she is not a safe person for me to expose myself to, so I am listening to the voice inside that is telling me to steer clear.

Odd Reality

Last night, after watching the Academy Awards on TV with eSuitor, I found myself saying, “I think I should drive home by an alternate route because Oscar traffic is going to be ridiculous.”

Photo found here.

What do you know?

Operation String Bikini Update:

As of this morning, I was down two and a half pounds from last week, which is great, since somehow I had gained a stray pound last week.

So, here's the official tally from where I started (and yes, I'm counting half pounds!):

one and a half pounds lost
thirteen and a half pounds to go

Mr. Bigglesworth, do you think I'm...evil?

On Saturday, I auditioned for the 168 Hour Film Project, which is a competition among several production teams to write, cast, shoot, and edit a ten minute short film. Each of the production teams receives a Bible verse on the first day of the competition, on which to base their story. On Sunday, I found out that I got cast in one of the projects. My team's verse is 2 Timothy 3:12: "In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." I'm so excited about my character, Angela, who appears to be the supportive girlfriend of the protagonist, but in the end turns out to be the most evil character in the film. It should be fun, as I generally don't get to play the "bad guy".

We rehearsed this evening, and shooting starts tomorrow. By Saturday, the shooting portion will be done, and post production will begin. The final product will be turned in for judging on Wednesday, February 28th. The films will then be viewed and judged. The festival itself will be March 23rd and 24th in Glendale, California. The films will be screened at that time. If you're in the LA area and you'd like to attend the festival, keep checking the above website for ticket info.

The Chronicles of Hernia has a Website!

I was in a film that was shot in December called The Chronicles of Hernia. It has a website now!!!

My First Blogiversary!

Yep, today marks the one year anniversary of my first post on The Starshine Report. I never knew how fulfilling, addicting, and fun blogging could be. Before I started this blog, I was both a journaler and a scrapbooker. However, since I began this blog, I have hardly done either because blogging kind of takes care of both at the same time! Plus, it's interactive. I'm so thankful for the sense of community I've found through my blog--that has been the most unexpected blessing that came with this blog. Thank you for reading and commenting here!

To commemorate this day, I thought I'd do a "year in review", selecting my favorite blog entry from each month of the last year. Just click on a link, if anything looks interesting!

In February 2006, I took my social life online when I signed up for eHarmony.

In March, I had fun inventing new vocabulary words, all beginning with "e", of course.

In April, two of my eMatches met each other at a party.

In May, my Dad's fighting spirit inspired me, as he endured two grueling courses of chemotherapy. I grew reminiscent as I thought about my favorite times with him.

In June, I fell in love.

In July, eSuitor told me he loves me.

In August, my galant knight broke wind.

In September, I was forced to remove a gigantic plank from my eye, bless my heart.

In October, I felt a lot of anxiety and had to remember to breathe.

In November, even fairy tales can be scary.

In December, I was in my first film!

In January 2007, eSuitor asked me to marry him!

In February, love was spiritual.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me!

One Year Ago

A year ago tomorrow, I wrote my first post on this blog. In that post, I "went public" about my recent decision to join eHarmony.

A year ago yesterday, I was out on a date with the first guy I met through eHarmony. He took me to see Mama Mia, which was a really fun musical. I didn't hear from him the next day, but I did hear from him the day after that, when he told me that he was getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. You can read about that emotional rollercoaster ride here. Thank You, Jesus, for not letting that work out, because...

A year ago today, I was matched with eSuitor. As soon as I saw this picture and read his profile, I knew I wanted to meet him. I was hoping that he would initiate communication with me, but after about five days, my patience ran out, and I had to clickety-click-click on him. (He likes to tell me that I wasn't being forward, I simply "dropped the hanky". Thankfully, he picked it up!) He answered my request for communication right away, and soon we were e-mailing, talking on the phone and out on our first date.

We had our first date at a Thai restaurant in Pasadena. Dinner went so well that we decided to take a walk through Old Town and we stopped in an ice cream parlor for dessert. Before saying goodbye that night, he told me that he wanted to see me again. I said that would be great. And we've continued to see each other ever since. And it's been great! Here is a photo of last night's dinner at the same Thai restaurant. We were both in a haze of in-love-ness.

Happy Valentine's Day!

V is for valuable. You are my treasure.

A is for always. That’s how long I’ll love you.

L is for love. The kind you never question.

E is for enduring. That’s how love is.

N is for noble. Sir Suitor’s just that way!

T is for thankful. To our Lord Who brought us together.

I is for intimacy. Into me see.

N is for new. Here’s to our first Valentine’s Day together!

E is for eSuitor, of course. My love, my hubby-to-be, my sweet Valentine.

I love you.

Fessing up and ouch, it hurts!

I was so hoping to be able to say that I at least lost one pound this week, but alas, when I stepped on the scale this morning, it told me that I had gained one! AHHH!

Now I have 16 pounds to go! Okay, I know, it's probably just water weight or something, but still! I wonder if it has anything to do with the caramel corn I ate yesterday. :)

As much as it pains my ego to do this, I am going to write every Tuesday about my progress (or lack thereof) in Operation: String Bikini. This kind of accountability can only help.

Of all the advice I've been given to make weight loss and better health my new reality, I think the best has been this: commit to it. If I want to lose weight, I need to commit to it, and not just think about it. And for me, the only way I can commit to it is by being very specific about how I will make this happen.

I think the first specific thing I can do is a little menu planning. So starting today, I am going to write down what I can eat and when, and I will not stray from it. I am commiting to do this for the next week. I'll let you know my results next Tuesday! Thanks for your support.

In other important news, I found out my Sesame Street personality (thanks, Cherry!):

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times. You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun. How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

There's a Bright Golden Haze on the Meadow

As a new week is looming before me, I've got a beautiful feeling that it's gonna be a good one. Let's look forward to what fabulousness I hope that this week will hold.

Monday: After work, I'm gonna come home and read. It's been a while since I've been able to delve into something good, so I want to treat myself to time with a good book.

Tuesday: I'll be giving you my first weekly update for Operation: String Bikini. You will get the truth of whether or not weight has been lost this week. I know you're waiting with baited breath. Will also hang out with the Gilmore Girls.

Wednesday: It's going to be my first Valentine's Day with eSuitor. We're going to recreate our first date. Dinner at a Thai restaurant followed by dessert at an ice cream parlor. (Yes, I will be breaking my diet for ice cream on Valentine's Day.) I'll also get to wear my new shirt that eSuitor gave me as an early Valentine's Day present from Ann Taylor Loft.

Thursday: The Office and Gray's Anatomy. 'Nuff said.

Friday: Fridays are my favorite day of the week. Plus, I have acting class. :)

Saturday: I have an audition!!! And! I get to see eSuitor!!!

Here's to a great week!

Mission Statement

Do you have a personal mission statement? After moving to California, I came up with one for myself. I don't live by it perfectly by any stretch, but I like it, and it seems to encapsulate the way I want to live my life in a general sense.

My Mission Statement:

By the power of the Holy Spirit,
today and everyday,
I will glorify the Lord in my body, mind, spirit and soul
in my relationship with Him,
my relationships with others,
my relationship with myself,
and through the gifts He has given me.

I started with "the power of the Holy Spirit" because without God's power motivating me, the whole thing would be doomed from the start. "Today and everyday" because I want to live from a place of consistency. "Glorify the Lord" because it seems to me that bringing my Maker glory with the life He has given me is a fitting way to live from a place of gratitude. "In my body, mind, spirit and soul" because I am a whole person and I don't want to isolate parts of myself. "In my relationships with Him, with others, and with myself" because relationships are what it's all about, and each of those relationships is important. "Through the gifts He has given me" because I want to live from a place of passion and dreams, doing what He has created me to do in this life!

Thirteen Shakespearean Quotes

Shakespeare on...

Life

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages."
--From As You Like It

Love

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other word would smell as sweet."
--From Romeo and Juliet

Pursuing a Woman

O, mistress mine, where are you roaming?

O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,

That can sing both high and low:

Trip no further, pretty sweeting;

Journeys end in lovers meeting,

Every wise man's son doth know.
What is love? 'tis not hereafter;

Present mirth hath present laughter;

What's to come is still unsure.

In delay there lies no plenty;

Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty;

Youth's a stuff will not endure.
--From Twelfth Night

Analyzing Love Letters

"Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ:

'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia':--that I'll tear away;

And yet I will not, sith so prettily

He couples it to his complaining names:

Thus will I fold them one upon another:

Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
--The Two Gentlemen of Verona (I, ii, 23-24)

True Love

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,

and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind".

--A Midsummer Night's Dream

Greatness

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great,

some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them".
--Twelfth Night

Hope

"The miserable have no other medicine but only hope".

--Measure for Measure

Word-Play

"I cannot tell what the dickens his name is".

--The Merry Wives of Windsor

Evil

"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose".

--The Merchant of Venice

Anti-Semitism

"I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes?
Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?"

--From The Merchant of Venice

Inspiration and Imagination

"O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend

The brightest heaven of invention,

A kingdom for a stage, princes to act,

And monarchs to behold the swelling scene!

Then should the warlike Harry, like himself,

Assume the port of Mars; and at his heels,

Leash'd in like hounds, should famine, sword, and fire

Crouch for employment."

--Henry V, Prologue

Love that Lasts

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken

--Sonnet 116

God

"God shall be my hope, my stay, my guide, and lantern to my feet"

--Henry VI, Act ii, Sc.3

Operation: String Bikini

Okay, people. It was not too long ago that I said here that I'm happy with my body and that I even like my curves. It's true--I do! I am not skinny, and I never will be. I'm at peace with that. I really am.

However, I am not in the best shape of my life, and both my commercial and theatrical acting teachers have affirmed that it would certainly help my acting career if I shed some pounds. The truth is that I have sacrificed a lot for my dreams, and I am willing to make some more sacrifices (ie. chocolate) to move me closer to realizing my them.

Also, I have the added incentive of knowing that I will be on a beach in Hawaii in just five months. I've never worn a string bikini in my life, but I definitely want to sport one for my man on our honeymoon. So it's time for this sister to kick it into cuervo, and jump back on the weight loss train. Thunder thighs, be gone! Operation: String Bikini has begun. I'm writing this down for the whole world to see: my goal is to lose 15 pounds over the next five months. I'll be posting a weekly update, so you all can hold me accountable.

Advice, thoughts, and encouragement are most certainly welcome along this journey.

Transforming Love

Since eSuitor and I live pretty far apart, our weekends are precious time to spend together, as we don't see much of each other during the week. Today, as we were driving from Santa Monica to Century City, he asked me what I want from our marriage-to-be. I gave my answers and then reciprocated the question. Our answers were stated differently, but they essentially expressed the same desire for intimacy--to know and be known by each other. And then he added one more thought: "I hope also that my relationship with God will deepen as a result of our marriage."

It was an interesting thought that got me wondering "How in the world will that play out?" Both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible portray marriage as God's great symbol of the relationship between Christ and His Church. In other words, the relationship between husband and wife is a reflection of the relationship between God and His people. The intimacy we desire and find in marriage is the type of oneness and mutual knowing that God desires for us to find in Him and (He in us).

There are many theories on why God wants us to pray if He already knows our mind and our hearts. The best explanation I ever heard is this: because God wants an intimate relationship with us. Even though He already knows our hearts, He wants us to pour them out to Him. It's like the intuitive mother who already knows why her child is upset--she still encourages the child to confide in her.

Tonight when eSuitor and I were saying goodbye, I felt so loved and so happy. So much love in my heart for him. A sweet intimacy shared between us. And I thought, if this is only a reflection of the kind of intimacy God wants with me, there is no way marriage won't influence my relationship with Him.

The above painting is by artist Thoti Gacías, my former boss in Spain. Click here for his blog. And here to see his gallery of paintings.

To peek or not to peek.... This is the question.

eSuitor and I are having all sorts of conversations about our wedding. One of the topics we're discussing is whether or not to see each other before the wedding on our big day. The reason for seeing each other before the wedding would be so that we could take all posed pictures with family and wedding party before the wedding, thus not making our guests wait too long at the reception before we get there. In doing so, however, we wouldn't have that moment of seeing each other for the first time as I'm walking down the aisle. We are entertaining two options:

1.) To peek: Have a moment of our own, just the two of us before the wedding. He can see me in my dress and we can have a moment together. We can take all of our posed pictures before the wedding, and get to the reception in a timely manner.

2.) Not to peek: The first time to see each other that day would be as I'm walking down the aisle. Take posed pictures after the wedding, and make our wedding guests wait on us for a bit at the reception.

I realize that there is not a right or a wrong way to do it, and honestly, as I write about it, I'm kind of embarrassed that this is making it on my blog. I would like your opinion on how you did things at your wedding, and if you have a strong opinion about this. Please don't tell me to do whatever we want to do because, truth be told, we have two different opinions on this. However, we're keeping open minds and want to pool all readers as to what they did and if they are glad they did it the way the chose.

And now, kind readers, please opine.

Note: eSuitor is making a special request that any readers in the Connecticut contingency please comment on this! :)

Photo found here.

Beauty on the way to Grumpy-town

I am in the grumpiest mood today. Just don't want to be at work. At least my mornings are blessed with a really pretty drive. I took this photo on Monday morning. I'm a sucker for pretty sunrises and sunsets!

Full Circle Stream of Consciousness – “Ask Jeeves” Edition

Ask Jeeves.

Isn’t Jeeves cute? He’s a happy, helpful little butler.

Butler. Isn’t Annie a great musical? “When you wake, ring for Drake. Drake will bring your tray.”

I love lap desks.

And breakfast in bed.

Bananas and nutella.

Nutella should be its own food group.

Why are all the yummy foods so bad for you? If the yummy foods were good for you, I’d be soooo skinny!

What’s so great about skinny anyway? I think I like my bodacious bod.

Stick figures are scary.

Remember when Mike Myers sang his beat poetry in So I Married an Axe Murder... “Woman. Whoa, Man. W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wo-man.” He’s funny.

Austin Powers was genius, too. Not everyone sees his genius in that role, but trust me, he was freakin’ genius.

Einstein was genius, too, but in a totally different way. I think I admire Einstein more for his philosophical quotes about life than I do for his scientific discoveries, though both are notable.

Creativity means more to me than science.

High school science classes were borrrrrrrrring. Physics was better than chemistry, though, because I think it appeals a bit more to the right side of the brain.

My high school physics teacher had a bowling ball suspended on a rope that hung from the ceiling.

Bowling is fun—especially on birthdays.

Bowling shoes were one of my favorite fashion trends. They have classic lines.

What, you don’t believe me? Just Ask Jeeves! (Oh, wait, a minute, you can't! I just went to his website, and get this!...Jeeves was retired a year ago! Now AskJeeves.com is simply Ask.com So sad.)

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Dear Mom,

When I think about how to express the gratitude in my heart for all you mean to me, no amount of words are sufficient. So I'll pick a few, and trust that you already know in your heart how very much I love you soooooooo.

You have touched my life in so many ways with your love, your friendship, your confidence, your hugs, your listening ear, and your advice. Your belief in me, your availablity to me, your interest in me, and your love for me have given me courage to try, a place to grow, grace to accept myself and the faith to become the woman God wants me to be.

You are a gift not only to me, but to so many whose lives you touch. I'm so thankful that God gave me you to be my mom.

How wonderful life is with you in the world!

xoxo,

Me

I Cried!

Thank you for your prayers and wonderful words of encouragement! I did my scene in class tonight, and thankfully tears came. What a relief!

Performance Anxiety

I'm really nervous because I have a scene that I'm doing with a partner in tomorrow night's acting class. The scene is an emotional one in which I'm playing a character that is standing on a ledge contemplating jumping. My scene partner has a line that says, "Why are you crying?". That means I have to cry.

Have. to. cry.

On. cue.

Help! There are so many what ifs? What if I can't? What if I don't? What if I fake it and it looks, well, fake? I'm nervous. Pray for me.

Funny followup note:

I wrote my acting coach an e-mail and told him how nervous I am. He wrote me back the following...

You have to be there b4 you get there...
Don't stress it, be in the moment
and trust the true experience.
Oh, and as a side note...Martin Scorsese will
be a special guest tonight.
Just a joke...it's actually Mr Speilberg. :-)

Ha ha.

Thirteen Things I Remember About Living in NYC

1. Living in an apartment that was actually a room the size of a shoebox.

2. Feeling a little smug that I lived on Gramercy Park even though my apartment was actually a room the size of a shoebox.

3. Coming alive in acting school at The Neighborhood Playhouse.

4. My lunches at Tal Bagel, an authentic Israeli-run bagel store, where the employees spoke Hebrew to one another. My favorite meal was an everything bagel with lentil soup. Mmmm. Perfect on a cold winter's day.

5. Being in excellent shape from all of the walking I did, along with ballet and a modern dance/yoga combo class I was in.

6. Going dancing at LIFE and meeting a soap star who was on Another World. He was really nice in person!

7. Incredible friendships made with women from all over the world!

8. Standing atop the Empire State Building on the 4th of July as my Jewish friend, Jordan, told me what the true meaning of the Yiddish word "schmuck" was. There was a group of adolescent Orthodox Jewish boys standing around us snickering, thinking he was one funny guy. I also learned the words "schmendrick" and "shmeggege" that night--both having similar meanings.

9. Being told "You're very friendly...that frightens me" by a very grumpy woman in an elevator.

10. Admiring Van Gogh's "The Starry Night" at the MoMA.

11. Rollerblading in Central Park, in Union Square, and on the Hudson River Boardwalk.

12. Singing showtunes at the top of my lungs as subways would roll into the station. They were so loud that no one could hear me over their rumble. It was my way of having a personal moment in public. Kinda fun!

13. Being very aware that I was living my dreams and feeling grateful for it!

He Just Keeps Getting More and More Wonderful!

Wedding plans are well under way, and I've had some really fun moments lately asking my sister to be my matron of honor and a couple of dear friends to be my bridesmaids. Also, my friend Tray, who has been the minister of music at my church since I was 16, called tonight to give me the official word that he would be able to perform the ceremony. Very special.

Yesterday, after Annie agreed to be one of my bridesmaids, she was asking me about my fiance, and I was telling her how supportive he is of my acting career and how much that means to me. When I shared a specific example with her of his supportiveness, she let out a hearty laugh that said, "You really have found yourself a good man." She's so right.

Tonight, eSuitor and I were talking about my hopes for my career, and he said, "Chiros, baby!". I was like, "Chiros?". Then my seminary student hubby-to-be gave me a quick lesson in Greek. Apparently, in the New Testament, there are two words for time: chronos and chiros. Chronos refers to chronological, linear time. Chiros refers to a moment in time. He then said, "This is your moment, and I'm coming with you! I want to be here to support you and pray for you and go with you on this journey." My heart swelled so full it was brimming over with gratitude and joy. It is one thing for me to have a dream and to believe in it. But to have my man believe in me and my dreams with that kind of commitment...well, that in itself is a dream-come-true, and it means more to me that he will ever know!

A Starry Starshine Report

I got inspired last week by J's cool new header over at "Thinking About...", so I decided that I might want an artsy little header of my own! The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh has long been one of my favorite paintings. Ever since I first saw it at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City, I've been a fan. It is a colorful and beautiful painting of a starry night sky over a town in Provence with a steepled church.

The Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh, as seen in the MoMA, NYC. Photo found here.

What struck me most about the painting was its texture. You could see the brush strokes cutting through thick, chunky oil paint. That's why I liked the close up photo (which I found here) that I used for my header. It lets you appreciate a portion of the entire painting and the richness of it's intricacies.

I hope you like it, too!

An Unexpected and Very Welcome Phone Call

Last night, I had arranged the pillows on my bed "just so" to hunker down for a little reading before bed. *lovely bell ring tone* *lovely bell ring tone* I looked at my cell phone to see who was calling, and much to my delight, it was Buttercup! Quick math told me that it was about 1:30 am in New York City, where she lives.

"Hi, Buttercup!"

"You're on California time, right?"

"I am, and you're up way past your bedtime!"

"I'm in a cab, on my way home from an event..."

And so began one of the best conversations I've had in a long time. We laughed and cried, we shared and had girl-talk, we covered her job interviews and my wedding plans.

I marvel that a blog-buddy is now a friend, and one that I imagine I'll have for years to come.

Thanks, Buttercup!

The "Children" of Narnia

After, I put up this post, my director sent me this photo of us "kids". It's my favorite of all the photos because it was taken of us in character and on the set.

My Wedding Dress

You are about to become privy to top secret information. Don't you feel special? Until eSuitor asked for my hand, only a handful of people knew what is about to be revealed:

I have had my wedding dress since 2003.

Tee-hee!

And now, the story of what insiders up to this point have simply referred to as The Dress.

I first met my wedding dress in 2002. I had recently moved to Zaragoza, Spain, and I was taking a stroll down the city's main street, Paseo de la Independencia. It is a lovely, urban street lined with European architectural gems, wide pedestrian sidewalks, and indoor/outdoor cafes. It also has an El Corte Ingles and several specialty shops. One of these shops is Cymbeline, a French design house of wedding dresses.

The beautiful Paseo de la Independencia. Who wouldn't want to go shopping here?

As I was moseying down Independencia one September day, I glanced at the window of Cymbeline. There in the window was The Dress. It was love at first sight. I just saw it and thought, "That's my wedding dress." It is a beautiful creation that I can't describe in too much detail, because eSuitor is reading this. I can say, however, that it is a winter wedding dress, and if Narnia had a good queen, she would wear something like this.

Considering that eSuitor was merely a prayer request at the time, it didn't make a lot of sense to entertain the thought of buying the dress, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. Whenever I was on Independencia, I would stop at the window to visit my dress. I would introduce the dress to friends, and I even walked into the store with my best friend, Anne to show it to her once they took it out of the window.

The following May, my mom and John (my stepdad, who nicknamed me "Starshine") came to Zaragoza to visit me. I told them about the dress and how much I liked it, and they said they wanted to go see it. So we took a field trip to Cymbeline, and they suggested that I try it on. We all fell in love with it. I brought my dear friend Laura there and tried it on for her, and she burst into tears. The general consensus was BUY IT! So in a joint effort, Mom and John, my Dad, and I split the cost of the dress three ways, and I ordered the dress in my size. The store on Independencia sent the order to Paris and said it would arrive sometime in July.

In mid-July, I got a call from my mom's best friend that I should come home ASAP. John had been fighting a years-long battle with cancer, and the end was near. Within 24 hours, I packed up all my stuff, drove with some friends to Barcelona, and was on a plane home to Texas. One of the suitcases I brought home with me contained my wedding dress. As soon as I got home, and greeted my family, John wanted to see the dress. I put it on, and we took pictures together, since I knew we wouldn't have that opportunity on my wedding day. He died one week later. (The above photo is one that was taken the day I got home from Spain. I framed it and added a note about it, which was displayed on my wedding day.)

I will always treasure that moment, and I'm so happy to have those photos. As I'm walking down the aisle on a hot Texas day in June, I'll be wearing my winter wedding dress, and John will be there with me.

I wish John could have met eSuitor. He would have been very happy that I'm marrying such a great guy. I do believe he is rejoicing with me in Heaven! Yea, Johnny!

Be Still: A Meditation

Tonight, I met up with a group of friends from Texas, and one of them was telling us about a book she is reading that dissects the following scripture by starting with the entire verse and taking off the last word of the verse bit by bit. It thought it was a beautiful meditation on these simple and profound words of God: "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10a

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know that.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

Book Review: The Intimate Mystery

In this post, I wrote about my plans to participate in the "From the Stacks" Winter Reading Challenge. All I can say is that January is halfway over; and 1 down, 4 to go. I'm tryin' here, people, work with me!

The Intimate Mystery by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman is a thin book and an enjoyable read that basically answers the question "What is marriage?" What I liked most about this book is that it isn't at all a black-and-white approach, giving pat answers and wrapping them up in a bow. It acknowledges the complexity of a man and a woman and the mystery and wonder that ensues when the two are united as one in marriage. The authors also discuss marriage as God's design and that it is His plan to use marriage to draw us closer to Him. Quite beautiful, actually.

Rather than give a long book report, I thought I would close with my favorite passage of the book. It comes from a chapter entitled, "Connecting Communication".

A marriage is a womb of stories. This matrix generates new lives and stories, and in it old stories are brought to a point of completion and redemption. A couple will never become wed in the fullest sense of the word until they become each other's favorite stroyteller and listener.

Stories are meant to run the gamut from a glimpse into the day's activities, to mythic tall tales of one's family's origin, to the glories and tragedies of ones' personal and corporate past. In our culture a family is inevitably surrounded by stories as the television drones its tiresome fare, DVDs are replayed and music hints at stories embedded in its lyrics. We can't escape stories, nor would we want to, but few married couples make use of their stories for the sake of intertwining their souls....

The intertwining of stories past and present brings the deepest sense of closeness we will feel with another human being. If we deprive one another of significant stories, then we also keep our souls from being woven together.

Where I'm From

J and Maya's Granny were the first two people who I saw do this exercise. It's an unconventional and descriptive way to write about your roots. I loved it, so I thought I'd try it myself. If you'd like to try it for yourself, the template for this exercise can be found here.




I am from hugs, God bless yous, and I love yous. I am from the tree house in my backyard, from walkie-talkies, and playing “spy”. I am from the hibiscus flower, a descendant of the hibiscus king. I am from one present before bed on Christmas Eve and sister talks on cell phones, from Dede and Grampy, and Berta and Grampa. I am from divorce and let’s stick together. From you are special today, don’t you talk back young lady, where’s my hug?, and ¡guapa, tranquila! I am from Jesus loves you and believing it with all my heart. I'm from Kansas City and Texas, California and the Northeast. From sourdough bread and warm soup when it’s cold, and Tex-Mex all year long. From the triumphant trio, the postman, the Helena Rubenstein cosmetics salesman, the rodeo cowboy, and the stay at home mom. I am from old family photos that I recently discovered, scrabble games in front of the fire, Irish songs I’ve never heard and Irish blessings I’ve only read, from spunk and gumption, from passion and dreams, and the greatest of these is Love.

Description of photos from top to bottom:

-My grandmother Berta and her family. She is the second smallest child in the line-up.

-My sister, Dad, and me.

-My mom's side of the family plus my brother-in-law and eSuitor (now my fiancé!).

Bonus Pre-Engagement Flashback!

Before we got engaged, eSuitor took me on this little adventure. I wrote the post back on Dec. 17th, but I decided to wait to post it until after he proposed. Just click on the link and enjoy!

I can't wipe this smile off my face! Here's another photo of our engagement day.

We're Engaged!!!

Happy New Year, everyone! 2007 is off to a great start!

eSuitor and I were in San Diego for New Year's Eve, which was lots of fun. We had dinner with some friends, watched Dream Girls (which we loved), and did a little dancing to welcome the New Year. He suggested that we stop in La Jolla this morning for some breakfast on our way back up to LA. Considering that we like checking out cool places in California and that we often go out for breakfast on the weekends, it didn't seem at all like an out-of-the-ordinary suggestion. We ate at a cafe with a pretty view of the water. Then, we decided to walk up a trail to the top of a cliff to take in the scenery. We sat down on a bench and looked out at the sea. I asked eSuitor if he wanted to talk about our New Year's resolutions. He said that he would indeed. He said that he had one in particular in mind--getting married--and he wondered what I would think about that. I told him that I liked that resolution a lot. Then he said some beautiful and sweet things to me about how much I mean to him and how much he loves me and concluded that getting married would be a definite resolution. "But we can't do that without a ring," he said. Then he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the lovliest ring, dropped to one knee and asked, "Will you marry me?" I said, "Yes."

Then we kissed.

This is the ring. It's a canary diamond surrounded by pretty white sparklers!

This is the place where we got engaged. I am so blessed and feel truly honored to be marrying such a wonderful man. I love him so much, and my heart is full!

A New Year's Message to my Blog Buddies

When I think back on the many blessings of 2006, one of the greatest has been the discovery of blogging. Oh, what a fabulous outlet it has been--creatively, emotionally, and personally. My main objective in writing it was to have a place to be fully me, a place where I could share the thoughts that I so choose to share with friends and strangers without censoring myself too much. It has been a constant place for creative expression this year, and I honestly would feel less alive without my blog. I have journaled for years, but there is something special about blogging because it allows you the honesty of journaling, along with the opportunity to share those honest thoughts with other humans.

I just want to say "thank you" to my blog buddies who read and comment here. You are those "other humans", and in an unexpected way, I have found a sense of community with you. Some of you I already knew personally. Some of you, I have "met" along the way. One of you, I have been able to meet in person. And another of you, I have talked to on the phone. ALL OF YOU are special and amazing people, who I am grateful to have in my life. You are a support system to me, even if you don't mean to be (though somehow I think that you do)! And while many of you are strangers in the sense that we've never officially met, I count you as friends, because you have let me into your life through your blogs and touched my life by reading and commenting on mine.

May God richly bless you in 2007.

With love,

Starshine

*Inhale, Exhale*

I am back in California. I had a wonderful week with eSuitor, visiting my family for Christmas in Texas. On our last night, eSuitor and I had a date at a lovely restaurant, where we feasted on ribs, steak and bananas foster. Mmmm. It was one of those nice, long meals where you sit and talk for hours, not rushing away from the table.

We had a good conversation in which we discussed the events of the week. One of the things that struck me was how great it was to step out of my busy LA life and SLOW DOWN! I got to catch my breath and mosey a little, free from the demands of life in this crazy city. We talked about the importance of practicing "the discipline of slowing" upon our return to So Cal. Already, I can feel what a challenge it will be.

I would love some input. How do you create margin in your busy schedules? How do you practice the discipline of slowing?

O Beautiful Star of Bethlehem, Shine On!

Dear Jesus,

I admit that I have totally been caught up in the holiday whirlwind and not given you anywhere near the attention and focus that I would have liked to. Excuses are not going to help, and I know that is not what you desire. You just want me to love You. So I didn't want to go to bed tonight without pausing for just a moment to tell you that. I love You, Jesus. My life is what it is because of You. Your love allows me to breathe and to live with inner-freedom.

I was sitting in church tonight, listening to the words of "O, Holy Night"

Fall on your knees,
O, hear the angels' voices.
O, night divine,
O, night when Christ was born.

I tried to imagine what it was like for You that holy night when You, the God of the Universe, humbled Yourself and put on human flesh. To live among us. To show us Your love. To save us. I know that it wasn't an original thought, but I want to say "Thank You". Thank You for loving me so much, that You came all those years ago so that I could have a life with You now. That was amazing love. That was and is the best Christmas gift the world has ever known.

I pray, Lord, that as I move into the new year, that I will not be too busy for You. You are the most important thing.

I love You. Because of You, it is a Merry Christmas.

Thank You, Jesus Christ!

Vaca: not just Spanish for "Cow"

That's right people, I'm going on vacation! Tomorrow, I leave for the Lone Star State to spend a week with my family, see some friends, and to celebrate Christmas with loved ones. I hope that my Christmas vacation will be filled with the following:

-quality time with my family--Dad, Mom, sis and bro-in-law.

-fireside chats and cuddles with eSuitor. :)

-Scrabble games. Mom and I usually bring out the board this time of year.

-sampling Alice's famous Christmas cookies.

-celebrating the birth of Jesus.

-reading a couple books that are on my list.

-fitness and being active. I plan to take some nice walks around my Dad's ranch and around my Mom's neighborhood.

-going hunting with my sister. My sister is an incredible markswoman. I don't know if she's planning to hunt with a rifle or a bow-and-arrow, but I'm planning to go sit with her and watch her do her thing!

-celebrate my friend Kelly's 30th birthday! Yay Kell-Bell!

-eat some good Tex-Mex. mmmmm.

-see friends

-see Buttercup

-go to an annual Christmas eve party with friends from church. It's become a tradition for the last 12 or so years.

-shop.

-see some "Early Bird Specials" at the local theatre with eSuitor.

They really are a girl's best friend!

On Saturday, I drove down to eSuitor's neck of the woods for lunch. After lunch, he began driving us to an undisclosed location. He took me here, to get my opinion on something:

Nothing was purchased, but looking was never so much fun!!! For the entire rest of the day, I was totally gushy. I'd give eSuitor a compliment about something or tell him that I love him or just have a generally pleased glow about me. He'd say, "It's the diamonds talking, isn't it?", to which I'd giggle and nod. His response: "Wow. I guess they really are a girl's best friend. I might need to take you to look at diamonds more often."

I knew I picked a keeper! ;)

Love you, sweetie!

Old Family Photos

My cousin and fairy godmother, MB, recently lent me a photo album with old black and white family photos. I love looking at pictures, and I'm particularly taken by photos of family members that were taken long before I ever knew them.

This is a picture of my grandparents when they were young and in love. I'm not sure how old they were. In their late teens or early twenties?

I also love this picture of my Dad when he was a little boy. He just looks so precious! I want to squeeze him and give him a hug.

Here's my Dad as a teenager. I like this photo because I can see myself in him. The red hair, the freckles, the nose, and just a hint of mischief!

The Movie Meme

1. Popcorn or candy? Hot Tamales and Junior Mints, por favor!

2. Name a movie you’ve been meaning to see forever. Braveheart...I know, I know, I should have seen it a long time ago!

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: I really wanted Joaquin Phoenix to win for Walk the Line. But I wouldn't want to take anyone's Oscar away from them...that would be mean!

4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be? Any of Elle Wood's outfits from Legally Blonde.

5. Your favorite film franchise is…Christopher Guest's mockumentaries: Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why’d you invite them? What do you feed them?

Carol Burnett
Reese Witherspoon
Lucille Ball (posthumously, of course, but I would have loved to meet her)
Julie Andrews
Kate Winslet

We would have some great girl talk and I imagine that we'd all laugh our booties off. I respect their work so much, and I would love to just gleen knowledge of the craft from them.

Oh, and we'd have pizza followed by ice cream sundaes in our pjs. Cuz that just sounds fun.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?

I thought that was against the law. :)

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator 2. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days. ???

9. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever seen in a movie? I screamed outloud all the way through Signs. I don't handle suspense very well.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?

I love a good Jane Austen romance. I'm a total girl that way. Sense and Sensibility is pretty much a perfect movie.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power? I'd make sure that my actor friends and I get cast in some seriously good films, and then give those the green light!

12. Bonnie or Clyde? Bonnie--she wears cool hats.

13: Who are you tagging to answer this survey: Sharon at Grab the Fish

On Set!

Lights, Camera, Action!

What a great weekend! I just wrapped shooting on my first film since moving to LA! It was so much fun! The film is a spoof of The Chronicles of Narnia. My character was named "Moosy". She's a thickly accented Texan character, with a penchant for smacking her gum, filing her nails, and over-accessorizing. I love comedy, so this role was a total blast to play. I feel very blessed and grateful to have been able to live my dreams this weekend.

Nothing says "Texas-trashy" quite like big hair, fushia press-on nails and many, many accessories!

Here's a picture of one of the crew flocking the trees of the "forest" on set.

Thirteen Life Experiences I'll Never Forget

1.) Waking up in San Antonio, Texas to thirteen inches of freshly fallen snow. And playing and playing and playing in it! We had heard the night before that there was a chance for snow. I was afraid to peek out my curtains when I woke up for fear of disappointment. I was definitely not disappointed! When we'd come in to warm up, our parents didn't let us stay in for too long because they knew that the snow wouldn't last long. It was an awesome couple of days of snow play!

2.) Realizing in fifth grade that I loved acting. I remember auditioning in front of my class and feeling like I had come alive!

3.) My first year living in New York City.

4.) Going to Moscow when I was sixteen.

5.) Meeting Jesus at summer camp.

6.) Having lunch with my Mom, Dad, and sister last year--the first time the four of us were together as a family in thirteen years. It was the most wonderful gift my (divorced) parents could have given me.

7.) Going hunting with my Dad when I was a little girl and listening to "I'm Just a Coca-Cola Cowboy" on the radio together.

8.) Feeling awkward in my college sorority.

9.) Vivid dreams when I was a child that I could fly, and not quite understanding why I couldn't when I woke up.

10.) Special time spent with my mom and John when they came to visit me in Spain. We knew that John was sick with cancer, so it made our time together so full of meaning. I remember crying in his lap and telling him, "I don't want you to die." He was so strong and at peace.

11.) My sister's and my Christmas ritual: sleep in same room, tell each other as we're drifting to sleep that we're pretty sure we heard reindeer on the roof, wake up and check out loot, open stockings together on mom's bed, cinnamon rolls with orange frosting and mimosas, open presents in front of the fire to Perry Como tunes. 'Tis the season!

12.) Being a part of the "triumphant trio". My mom, my sister and me. We have been through so much together. They are my family, my dearest friends and my confidants. I am so blessed to be so close with them. We are a part of each other, and I love that!

13.) Falling in love with eSuitor. Who knew that the simple click of a mouse would be the beginning of such a wonderful relationship?! Of course, it didn't hurt that he had this picture on his profile. When I saw those pecs, I just couldn't resist. Good move, baby! Grrrrr.

My Knight in Shining Armour

Don't you like the British spelling of "armour" so much more than the American counterpart of "armor"? I do.

The last two days have been so incredibly hectic and full. Let me back up to last week, though. I had an audition for a film that is a comedic spoof on the Chronicles of Narnia. Yesterday, I had a callback and found out today at work that I got the part, and that I needed to be at rehearsal this evening.

To make a very LONG story short, eSuitor and I had planned to have dinner at my apartment this evening when I got off work. Yesterday, I gave him my key (the only copy I have) to let himself into my apartment. That way he could beat rush hour and start cooking dinner before I got home. Well, when I received news of getting the part and having rehearsal this evening, I called him and told him our dinner wouldn't work, at which point he reminded me that he has my only key, and he lives at least 40 mins away from me when there is no traffic at all. I called my landlady, and she assured me that she would let me in when I got home.

Well, I got home and the landlady was nowhere to be found. So Sir Suitor drove all the way to my place and let me in and then drove all the way home. He's not a night owl, by any stretch, so I know what a loving sacrifice he made.

My heart is swelling with gratitude--gratitude for getting the part in this film, gratitute for a warm apartment to come home to, and gratitude for having a man in my life who didn't think anything of driving across town to let me into it.

I am blessed.

Thank You, Lord.